Realizations at 4am

Realized there’s definitely a difference between what you really want and what you plan. Not like what I plan isn’t what I want. It’s what I want but not as much as what I really want. It’s more of like, I want this coz this is where I should be at this certain point of my life. This is what I should already be. Something like that.

I mean, I guess both would make me happy either way. But later on I’d probably ask myself, “What if?” What if I took a chance on what I really want? Cos then eventually after going after it, it’s either things would turn out differently and better, or things would go exactly as I envisioned it to be and way even better.

I know deep down it’s worth it. But I’m just probably scared if I am worth all of it. And all the things and moments I’ll miss, and what will happen to the people I care about the most if I go for it. Mostly that. Just partly of what will happen to me.
Is this really calling for me?

If it seems slow in coming, wait. It’s on its way. It will come right on time.
-Habbakuk 2:3, The Message 

You hold my world

You hold my world in Your hands and I am amazed by Your love, I amazed that You love me. You hold my world in Your hands, I’m not afraid my world is safe in Your hands. (You Hold My World)

Wherever You will take me Lord. Time and again Your plans have been perfect. I don’t wanna rely on my own choices anymore just because it’s what I want but I want Your will to be done because I know it’s perfectly what I need.

I may not understand nor I may not exactly know the answers yet.. But as with every season, it will be revealed to me. And I trust my life with You more than anything.

By that time I will be ready.. Because You’ve been preparing me all this time. You have always put dreams in my heart. And when that time comes, I will understand.

I will always be surprised and amazed by the wonderful things You have been doing and unfolding in front of my eyes.

Committing myself and my life to You had been very scary at first.. But it’s the best thing I ever did. And if I could do it all over again, I’d still choose the same.

Thank You Lord for Your love and grace. Thank You Lord because You never gave up reaching out to me when I was lost.. Thank You for never giving up on me. Else I would’ve given up on myself and I won’t get to know about You and Your wondrous love. <3