Self fail.

I knew that there were no guarantees. No way of knowing what came next for me, or him, or anybody. Some things don’t last forever, but some things do. Like a good song, or a good book, or a good memory you can take out and unfold in your darkest times, pressing down the corners and peering in close, hoping you still recognize the person you see there.
-Sarah Dessen

Screwing up for the past 2 weeks of school. Damn it. I didn't start my year right. Everything's just... a failure.

I'm disappointed with myself.

I'm at this point where I'm bored, lazy and would just want to sleep and stay at home all day. With no priorities, deadlines, and other stuff needed to be done.

I want to go on and make myself better but I don't know, I just screw it up. My sleeping habit is so messed up, my school performance is fcuked up. As in big time. Sure I mean, it's fine. But it's just that I'm too lazy doing the things I need to do that I end up doing things I want to do.

I don't like disappointing myself. It makes me feel frustrated. Like I know I can do something about it, but whenever I try to, I fail with it. And it makes me a lot more frustrated.

Things are not better. Well, lifestyle-wise and school-wise.

I am happy. But I want to be happy in a sense that it makes me a better person. But it doesn't. So I may just THINK I am happy, but I'm really not? I don't know. I'm too 'relaxed' these days.

I'm so messed up. This isn't just me. :(

I'm just really really really disappointed with myself. And I have no one to talk about it. :( Makes me all the more disappointed. And sad :(

Forget past mistakes. Forget failures. Forget about everything except what you’re going to do now - and do it.
— William Durant

Never let success go to your head and never let failure go to your heart.

“Success is going from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.”

—	Winston Churchill

Ninety-nine percent of all failures come from people who have a habit of making excuses.

—	George Washington Carver

“We’ve all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard damn poets urging us to seize the day. Still sometimes, we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today’s possibility under tomorrow’s rug until we can’t anymore. Until we finally understand for ourselves what Benjamin Franklin really meant. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beat the hell out of never trying.”

—	Grey’s Anatomy

What's happened to me?

I often wake up late. I stay up late. I didn't do my research paper. I didn't go to class. I am addicted to Tumblr. I am tired. My back hurts. I think my head is going to explode. Well not really.

....

Okay. Yes, new term and I often wake up late. So I run late to school, OR I just don't go to class. How am I going to make it if I wake up at 8am and my class is at 9, and my travel time is 1 and a half hour? I rarely make it. Lol.

I didn't do my research paper for DESNCON. Yes, screwed. But I woke up late. Stayed up late 'cos I watched Obama's inauguration on TV. Lol. So.. yeah.

I feel like I have a lot to do tomorrow. We'll try to do a FOTOGRA shoot, then Imma print our PROFES1 group requirements, ATM.. well, it's not so much maybe. But that involves a lot of walking and waiting. I'm working out my muscles right there tomorrow. HAHAHA. Or later I mean.

I still have to do our PARTDES report powerpoint. Sondesn. Uhm, Deskpub. Desncon. Desncon. Oh yeah. Pretty much that. Lalalala, I thought my new year's resolution is to not procastinate ever again this year? Not to cram? Well..

New year resolution FAIL.

My favorite day is Tuesday. I'm loving FOTOGRA. Thursdays are fine. PROFES1 is cool. I love Mondays and Fridays. Hooray no classes. And my least favorite is Wednesday. Thank you very much.

Where is my playtime?

So much to do, so little time. But well, I complain too much. I shouldn't have time doing this right? But I do. Because I want to. And it's 2:20am. And I'm hungry. Back hurts. I need massage.

Even if my least favorite day is Wednesday, yesterday was pretty much nice. Very nice. Well, happy. Because because because.... :D OHMYGOSH. I feel like jumping up and down. Hahahaha. Only Jesy and Cerisse know about this. And my brother. Haha. I decided not to tell too many people yet 'cos it may not push through if I did. Maudlot pa. HAHA. But at least, it's possible. YES IT IS POSSIBLE. :D Weeyoweeyowee! :D My brother doesn't know how I feel about it btw. I just told him because he knows that person I'm talking about. Or.. well, they're pretty much "friends" now. HAHA. And I love it when they talk. Buh uhm, I'm crossing my fingers. :x

And a guy and a girl can be just friends but at one point or another, they will fall for each other. Maybe temporarily, maybe at the wrong time, maybe too late, or maybe forever.
-Dave Matthews

Pic sharing guys! :D From our FOTOGRA class. Lol.





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(via perplexigirl)

You don't know how much you make me happy. Yes, still. 2008 = YOU.
And you know what I'd really really concentrate on when that happens? Simple. Try to not let you hear my pounding heartbeat like it's gonna rip from my chest. I'd probably get scared getting near you because of that. Lol.

Who cares if you read this or not. You might. But, you wouldn't know you're the one I'm talking about anyway. :D ;)