A blessed day.

Last April 23, we celebrated my Dad's birthday in our new house. Along with that is the House Blessing. So at around 10-11am, the priest arrived and after the house blessing, he ate with us. Mahaba-haba nga ang sermon niya. Haha. But it was really really nice. It was nice to bond with my family like that. The priest also told us about the Philippines, why our country is like this, etc etc, and how there is still hope for our country to rise up. Everything that's happening in our country now are just challenges. It's up to us how we're going to conquer all those challenges. The government is the one that leads, guides and controls our country, but it is really us, the people, who will make our country a better place. And how are we going to do that? Go back to where everything started, family. The family is the first school, first church, first everything. That's why family matters a lot. I have learned a lot from just one day, one day. And I love it. :)

Later on in the afternoon, our pastor friend from Cornerstone Christian Church dropped by to give the cake to my dad and he prayed us over. It was really touching. My dad cried. So as my brother, Kuya Carlos. I was nearly in tears, and so as my mom. I never felt God more than that day. I felt really blessed. Who could ever thought that that day would be that blessed? First birthday on our new home, I can feel God's presence more than ever. Pastor Fred said that "your greatest wealth is the relationship with your family." True enough. I cannot ever forget that line. He also said that no matter how many challenges had come into our lives and how many things there were that's lost and left behind, God will give us even more than what we lost. Proverbs 24:16 says, "a righteous man falls seven times, and rises again"/"No matter how often honest people fall, they always get up again; but disaster destroys the wicked." I know how much things aren't the same as they were before and how many mistakes have been made in the past, but we're almost getting to the way it has been before, only that we're coming up as better people for the betterment of everyone, especially our family. Family is priceless.

That day, I was being sad because of something or rather someone. But after everything that has happened during that day, I had no reason to be sad at all. Because I am very blessed. I am very grateful and thankful that I am with my family. And they're there for me, we will always have each other. And that friend I was being sad about, will also have my back, no matter what.

Well, some of the people who reads my blog knows who that person is.

You know this past few days, I've been... I don't, I can't explain how I'm feeling really. I just know that I miss someone. Period. And it's just that no matter how much you do things, how much you occupy yourself doing a LOT of things, in the end, the pain just comes back again. The feeling and the thinking is still there. And it really sucks. Sometimes I wish I could just sleep forever. Well no, not really, but it's in sleep that I'm peaceful and have nothing to think about. Maybe this will pass, just maybe. Maybe because it's summer and school's not on the way and yeah. Sigh. Why am I feeling pain? Why am I being sad? Well it's just because reality keeps slapping me in my face. Yes yes, it does. But what can I do? It's reality, I need to deal with it.

See, last night I turned off the PC earlier than what I used to, but I can't sleep and I don't want to yet. So I went to my brother's room. Nakipagkulitan. Kumain. Nag-exercise. Palakad-lakad, pabalik-balik. Then my brother asked me, "Cha? Musta?" and how the usual me would say, "Okay lang." Then tries to look okay. I just wanted to take that feeling away, and I can't explain WHAT feeling that is. I played the guitar, asked my brother what song is easy to play, he told me the chords of Always Be My Baby and there, I played it. Turned on my pc again, played it over and over. Searched for the chords of Realize by Colbie Callait, Say it again by Marie Digby and all that. My fingers hurt. But it was fine. As long as I don't feel that feeling. But after everything, it's just didn't work. It's still there. So I went to sleep at 4am. Again.

I just hate how I'm always like that. Whenever I feel something that would make me ultimately happy, I always hold it back. I always hold it back. And what does it get me? It pains me. I'm always scared to get hurt. I'm always scared to be happy. Cos every time I'm happy, I always think that there will be something that will make me sad. Gah, I don't know. I just.. blah.

Anyway, on the lighter side(lolz), I kept thinking about this conversation I had with my brother's ex. She asked me what will I do after I graduate, then I said, "job?" She said, "further studies?" Yes, I want to. But you know how life is hard nowadays. I want to go study in another art school outside the country to get a second degree or masters or whatever you call that. I just love education. I love to learn. But she said, that she thinks I can do it. And she will continue to believe in me. She's going to the U.S. later this year to I think, study again. She's in Singapore right now, studying as an Economics major. How cool is that? She said she'll help me get financial support when I really want to and I'm serious about it. And last night, I searched for the top art schools in the U.S. and I looked into The Art Institute of California and the Academy of Art University. Those are both in California, Los Angeles and California respectively. But after much surfing in both websites, I decided that I want to go to the Academy of Art University! LOLZ. But what the hell, can I ever do that? I was so overwhelmed last night when I saw all that. I don't know though. It's not a crime to dream, is it? Dream on, Cha. Dream on.

Anyway, that's about it. Thanks for everyone who commented on my layout and previous blog post! :D Much loves. :)