Yes, what?

I wanna be great at what I'm doing but I'm not making the most out of what's given to me. Talents and time.

I can be great at what I do.

But I just don't believe in myself enough that I can be.

I have to change... in a lot of ways... to be a better person. Career-wise, academic-wise, and my mindset.

Now I'm getting frustrated.

I'm not any better than what I visioned to be.

Cram. Panic. Cram.

I lack motivation.

And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And youll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you

Lord knows
Dreams are hard to follow
But dont let anyone
Tear them away, hey yeah
Hold on
There will be tomorrow
In time
Youll find the way

What is what.

Hohow! So I've been up to a LOT of things these past few days and well, I've only finished quite a few needed to be done. Damn I hate procastinating. But I still do it anyway. :( Sigh. But oh well.

Aside from school, the net's been keeping me busy.. as always. Surprise surprise! But my friends and I are playing this game since last week and we've been really addicted to it. Lol. Next thing I know, most of my blockmates have their accounts already and they've been dueling a lot. Haha.
Yeah we all need a break from school. We're getting tired of the whole thing from time to time.
:o Okay so maybe most of the time. Lol. I just want summer break already!!!! Just 5 more weeks and we're free to go! I can't believe we'll be college juniors next term already. :o K so back to my 'story'..


It's JamLegend woot. Lol. Playing Canon Rock, haha. Love that song ♥!

And then there's..

TUMBLR! ♥♥♥
I update there everyday. Heh. Mostly from reblogging or well it depends.

Also, there's Facebook, Plurk, and all the countless accounts I have online. =]]

But of course there's still school. School always takes most of my time. I actually lack sleep as in big time. But there's just so much more to do.

Like this newsletter I finished today cos it's due just until 7pm so I didn't go to my 2nd class. Actually all my friends and I didn't. Cos if we did go to class which will end at 6pm, we won't get to pass this project which may cause us to fail and we don't want that. I don't want to faillll, I've never failed any of my subjects ever. So yeah, I did the two remaining newsletter designs in like 2 hours. I rushed the last one, so yes 2 hours wasn't enough. I actually got to send the email 5 minutes late cos our freakin' internet was so slow and it still is until now.



Our internet's running around 32.5 kb/sec right now btw. -_- I'm downloading my files from Photography class my friend uploaded in Mediafire cos she has them. Photography class last Tuesday was awesome. Lol. We got to shoot using redhead, kinoflo and the flash light, the one with the white umbrella thing. Lol. Later I'll update this when my download completes. We felt like we're paparazzis and celebrities too! Haha. We all got to "model" for the shots. Really fun. We finished shooting it all at school cos it will be too much hassle if we borrow the lights on another day cos we need to have a studio room reserved for that as well. Eh the lights were set up already so we did it on the same day. We were required to get 8 shots for each kind of light. We all just need to shoot the available and daylight lights. :D

[edit]

Cerisse: shot by Me

CJ: shot by me

ME [lol]: shot by Cerisse

Cj, Cerisse and I: Shot by Camae

Carlo and JR [they're not in our class but they're there so we asked them to model lol]: shot by me
JR : shot by me

CJ and JR [or CJRawr :p]

CJ profile shot

Cerisse

Us during the shoot :D

For more photos, click here.

[/edit]

At times school's not so bad cos it's really fun and I love what I do. But there are just days like Wednesdays that I don't like. Most likely cos of the subjects. So I hate Wednesdays. :))

Mannn, 4 more weeks! Technically it's 4 weeks cos we have no class during Holy Week and that's like 3 days plus another holiday which makes it almost a whole school week. And it's finals after that! Wee. I'm just looking forward to summer this year cos it'll be my last summer ever in college. Summer next year will be spent OJT-ing. :o

Gah I've been blabbing a lot about school. Lol. I miss playing PhaseRO. I miss reading books. I miss watching television. I miss watching Gossip Girl. :[ I'll catch up on those on my free time, which most likely be on summer.

Speaking of summer, I'll be busy as well because I will be planning and organizing my 18th birthday celebration. :o I can't believe I'll be turning 18 already. I don't look 18!!! I look like a kid in high school. Haha.

Anyways, that's it. Another long blog entry from me. :o

P.S. Changed my chatbox. Cbox was messing up with the whole 'open in new window' thing so switched to Shoutmix. :)

P.P.S. OH BTW! :D Just checked my mail! :D And LOOK! Hehe.

New new new!

Okay new layout! :D I like it! Hehehe.

I tried using tables on this one since I often see it on other blogs and it looks neat so here it is! :D I was on the mood to do my layout and code yesternight but I needed sleep so I finished it just tonight.

I guess once you do something and you missed it and liked it, you'll be inspired or be in the mood to do it again. Haha. I missed coding and doing web stuff. Yesterday I helped(haha) a friend of a friend of my friend do their website. It's a school project. LOL. I kind of did the HTML and CSS. Kind of, since it's already there, they just wanted me to fix it and put other stuff. It looked easy but hell, it wasn't. My head hurt after and I was so tired and sleepy. But I get paid for it so, it's all good. Haha.

I did their personal web pages as well. I did three. The layout, banner and codes. And it went something like this layout. For a long time I wondered how to do tables cos usually I use DIVs. And then while I was viewing the pages it just came to me, OH SHIT I NOW KNOW HOW TO DO THIS KINDA LAYOUT! MUST TRY AND MAKE NEW ONE FOR BLOG! Hahaha.

So yeah. :D

I'm hungry. I should eat now. And make my NSTP paper after. Teehee. :D

Life's going well right now. Maybe February isn't so bad as I think it is. :D

Btw, thanks to Anna for helping me with the messed up thingy here. LOL.

Learn how to balance everything, otherwise, you have to drop something just to keep everything balanced.

Midtermsss.

I'm up early! :) Need to do school works. Gah midterms. We always have a lot to do at this time. I have one midterms today, Profes1(Professional Ethics). And we have no materials for review except for that one who uploaded their report on our Yahoo!Groups. Great. I don't have much notes either. :|

Yesterday we also had a midterm and we(me and my friends) didn't know it was midterms. So s'all stock knowledge. Haha :)) Great yea? :)) I got a 17/30 though. Not bad for not studying yes? Haha. Damn I really hate Wednesdays. Sux.

AND OUR PROF IN OUR FIRST SUBJECT WAS ABSENT!!! Gah CJ and Camae!!! And Cerisse!!! They were all on it! Hahaha. Just because I was late and did not catch them in the classroom :( What can I do, it was super traffic! Gah. So I went to the cafeteria and there they were! And they said they had midterms and such. THAT I DON'T HAVE GRADE FOR OUR GROUP REPORT AND MIDTERMS! Who would not worry about that??? Ack hahaha. I hate them =)) =)) This group activity we had last week was to make a 15-minute TVC on a topic about "Smoking Kills". But we shouldn't have any smoke paraphernalia, cigarette butts and packs, etc. that literally tells it's about smoking.

Well I kinda knew they were kidding but I wasn't so sure. :)) So when I got to talk to Kevin on Facebook and asked him what happened, AND THERE, he said our prof's absent! Agh =)) =)) That's why I hate being late and still I'm always late. :|

Anyways off to do my print ads due on Friday. Why is it always due on Friday when I have no classes? Then I have to go to school. :/

What's happened to me?

I often wake up late. I stay up late. I didn't do my research paper. I didn't go to class. I am addicted to Tumblr. I am tired. My back hurts. I think my head is going to explode. Well not really.

....

Okay. Yes, new term and I often wake up late. So I run late to school, OR I just don't go to class. How am I going to make it if I wake up at 8am and my class is at 9, and my travel time is 1 and a half hour? I rarely make it. Lol.

I didn't do my research paper for DESNCON. Yes, screwed. But I woke up late. Stayed up late 'cos I watched Obama's inauguration on TV. Lol. So.. yeah.

I feel like I have a lot to do tomorrow. We'll try to do a FOTOGRA shoot, then Imma print our PROFES1 group requirements, ATM.. well, it's not so much maybe. But that involves a lot of walking and waiting. I'm working out my muscles right there tomorrow. HAHAHA. Or later I mean.

I still have to do our PARTDES report powerpoint. Sondesn. Uhm, Deskpub. Desncon. Desncon. Oh yeah. Pretty much that. Lalalala, I thought my new year's resolution is to not procastinate ever again this year? Not to cram? Well..

New year resolution FAIL.

My favorite day is Tuesday. I'm loving FOTOGRA. Thursdays are fine. PROFES1 is cool. I love Mondays and Fridays. Hooray no classes. And my least favorite is Wednesday. Thank you very much.

Where is my playtime?

So much to do, so little time. But well, I complain too much. I shouldn't have time doing this right? But I do. Because I want to. And it's 2:20am. And I'm hungry. Back hurts. I need massage.

Even if my least favorite day is Wednesday, yesterday was pretty much nice. Very nice. Well, happy. Because because because.... :D OHMYGOSH. I feel like jumping up and down. Hahahaha. Only Jesy and Cerisse know about this. And my brother. Haha. I decided not to tell too many people yet 'cos it may not push through if I did. Maudlot pa. HAHA. But at least, it's possible. YES IT IS POSSIBLE. :D Weeyoweeyowee! :D My brother doesn't know how I feel about it btw. I just told him because he knows that person I'm talking about. Or.. well, they're pretty much "friends" now. HAHA. And I love it when they talk. Buh uhm, I'm crossing my fingers. :x

And a guy and a girl can be just friends but at one point or another, they will fall for each other. Maybe temporarily, maybe at the wrong time, maybe too late, or maybe forever.
-Dave Matthews

Pic sharing guys! :D From our FOTOGRA class. Lol.





--


(via perplexigirl)

You don't know how much you make me happy. Yes, still. 2008 = YOU.
And you know what I'd really really concentrate on when that happens? Simple. Try to not let you hear my pounding heartbeat like it's gonna rip from my chest. I'd probably get scared getting near you because of that. Lol.

Who cares if you read this or not. You might. But, you wouldn't know you're the one I'm talking about anyway. :D ;)

A New Year, A New Post.

So after one month, I decided to go into my Blogger again and change the template. I found this one on Blogskins. I wanted to make this kind of layout for a long time now but don't have the time to.. and I didn't know how to as well. HAHA. Loser. My CSS shits are kind of out-dated now. The layout looks clean, doesn't it? I think it is. That's why I love it! I like clean and simple looks now. Gone are the days that I used to like so much splattered brushed and all that.

So last Christmas, we had a family Christmas Party. It's held annually now, haha. It began when it was just me and my mom at home 'cos my brothers and cousins had a gig in Davao back in 2006. And my dad went with them so we were left alone. My brother's girlfriend went at home from time to time to check us and hang out with us or drive us somewhere. Then we just had the idea of having a Christmas party along with family friends, cousins' family and the others left behind here so it wouldn't be so lonely. And it all started there. It's something I look forward to every year.

On 2008, we held it at our new home in Fairview. I just realized then that we celebrate it on a different house every year. Haha. Those were the times when we moved houses. Too bad it rained so we started out late. :( But still it was fun cos we had an intermission number for every family. It was my idea to put it in so it would be so much fun. My dad and brothers played 3 Beatles songs. My dad sang and played the bass. Then, my 2 cousins who used to be the vocalists in their band sang as well. So it was like a mini-reunion. Ha ha. And I had it all captured on video! We had games, of course. The most fun was the Hep-hep hooray game. It was so funny watching them! My 2nd brother, as our representative, won! Hahaha. And there are a LOT of kids now. Ngayong year kasi, may 2 families na nadagdag. Haha. My cousin's and my uncle's family. Ang kukulit! But they're so cute and adorable. XD Madadagdagan pa since my cousin's wife just gave birth last November and my sister-in-law will give birth this April. I gotta admit, I'm not so used to having kids around. But I guess I have to get used to it now. This just means I'm getting older. =]]

I wanna transfer the videos on my computer ASAP so I can edit and upload it on YouTube or Vimeo or somewhere. But I'm having problems with the cables and stuff. =[

New Year was kinda fun as well. My mom invited the kids from Children's Joy Foundation and they sang Christmas carols. Hehe. But man, it was so SO SO LOUD OUTSIDE OUR HOUSE. AND THERE WERE A LOT OF PEOPLE. LMAO. I'm being sarcastic. =]] Srsly, there were no people at all. Cars were just passing by us and some people walking but I haven't seen a single neighbor outside their house. In our old village, New Year's the only time we get to interact and see people outside their home. But here? LOL. The road's so clean. It was still fun though.. because of the food. And it rained as well. Boo. =]]

My brother and I just played Ragnarok. BAHAHA. Who would've thought I'd come back and play again? Just not on iRO though. We're now playing on a private server. My friend invited me to play, and I just thought why not? It's something I can do to pass my time. Or relax when I'm stressed. Or it just simply reads: PROCASTINATION. Hahaha. But noooo, I don't want that this year. I DON'T WANT TO CRAM EVER AGAIN. I mean, just not this year. This year will be a tough one. I'm in my last term as a sophomore. And I say hello to majors on junior year. Whenever I think about what's going to happen this year, it overwhelms me like a lot. But I want to believe I can do it. I can survive. Yes, I know I can. I just need confidence. =[ I lack that. STILL. And I hate it. And I'm going to turn 18 five months from now. And my mom told me to arrange things as early as now. =o =o

As for school stuff, our term started on Wednesday. Umm, I didn't go to my second class. WHOOPS. Sreh. Hahaha. WE DIDN'T. Cerisse, Camae, CJ and I. We went to MOA to eat at Kamay Kainan! :D FREE! Haha. Then we window shopped, as usual. Then we went to Krispy Kreme then CJ said that we shouldn't go to school. HAHAHA. Then suddenly Cerisse and Camae agreed cos they were lazy. BOO. And I wanted to go to class!!! I told them I'll be a GOOD INFLUENCE to them. ROFL. But it was 3 vs. 1. And I lost. HAHA. So we stayed at Krispy Kreme then went around the mall. I bought a book at National Bookstore called Exit Here. I wanted to buy 2 but my money wasn't enough. The title of the other book I wanted to buy was, Wait for me, so I TALKED TO THE BOOK lmao and said, "Okay, wait for me!". Haha. Oh I was just willing to spend 500 bucks that day. I wanna save. So I'll come back for the other books later. And I wanna buy that cube thingy we were trying to solve to be a cube? I can't explain it. HAHA. Anyway it looks like this:

Googled it! Haha. We were all sitting on the floor ON THE CHILDREN'S SECTION trying to solve that. =]] It was so frustrating. You think you have nearly solved it but NOOOO, there's this empty spot in the middle or somewhere and you just don't know where to put the other cubes. What a problem eh? Haha. So we gave up and went back to school.

Sorry for lying, folks. =[ I've been a bad girl. =]] I don't wanna do that next week and the weeks after that. BLAME CJ! Haha. I don't wanna spend too much money. We'll just go to the computer lab and just go on the internet. =]]

Yesterday, I didn't go to school cos my mom said so. BOO. =[ My brothers weren't home yet that time cos the car broke down or something in Tagaytay. I don't know what happened really though. So, most likely my dad got lazy driving me to school. AND my mom didn't want me to commute. So I won't go to school. BAH. I felt bad about it and just slept the whole day. And now I'm screwed cos they were asked to form a group for a business company and it's allowed to have only 4 members and Cerisse, CJ, Kevin and Angela are groupmates since I wasn't there. And they're already four. So no more room for me. =[ Ohhaii. I can do it. Time to meet new people, yeah? I suck at that sometimes. I get scared. LOL. =[

I think I'm gonna play Ragnarok now or read a book. Or go to tumblr. Or something. I've no class today since I'm off every Monday and Friday. Goodie! :D I wanna watch The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. And download the new ep of Gossip Girl. DAMNNNN. I haven't watched they Ep14 yetttt! =[[[ This one's pretty long now. Thanks for reading though! :) Happy New Year! =]

I'm gonna leave you guys with this YouTube video I found:

I didn't know someone translated it to english. Haha. Pretty cool. =] I'll always love this song.

Finals and Christmas Break

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life…You give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ‘maybe we should be just friends’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”

-Neil Gaiman


The MMA life.
Source: Weheartit

Finals is just around the corner, so as Christmas break. I can't wait for this term to be over. I still have pending things to do like my COLREND final plate, COMGRAP printfolio and our group project and FREHAND plates. I just want to get it all over with. But it seems like I'm taking it easy. UH-OH. But I can do this. Konti na langggg. Mas nakakapagod sa susunod pang mga terms. I'm just lazy, that's all.

And I just love December. Malamig noh? Sana ganun na lang lagi sa Pinas. Kahit sa araw. :)) Asa lang. :]]

So I just wanted to blog here. Tagal na kasi e. I often post on my Tumblr though. :D I'm here in our school's COMLAB, waiting for my next class. I didn't go to my first class cos I was late. And I haven't finished my painting yet. Just 15 minutes to go for my next class. Or I mean, for my 1st class to end. :p

Laters! =]

Listening to: Flightless Bird, American Mouth by Iron and Wine ♥

Death is easy. Life is harder.

-Bella, Twilight Movie

Diskarte lang.

Don't worry bro, even before I decided to go and push through with this, I know exactly what I'm doing and where I'm going.

We were on our way home, actually we were almost near home when my brother asked me about studies and all. If I'm learning something and such. Of course I said yes, which is the truth. He asked if I will be able to use everything I'm learning when I step into the real world and I said, "probably not all." I've heard that from my eldest brother then that I won't get to use everything I'll learn in school 'cos yeah most of the other things, we do learn by ourselves and like they say, "diskarte lang."

Then he said, "Tinuturuan ka ba nila pano kumita ng pera?" and I said, "Hindi." Diskarte na natin yun after we graduate e, di ba? He said, "Ako, graduate ako ng UP pero ano nakuha ko dun? Wala din. Dba? 6 years ako nag-aral. Kung alam ko lang na dito ako mapupunta sa business na 'to(which is a family business, sound system) edi sana ini-spend ko na lang yung 6 years kong yun para pag-aralan yung mga pinag-aaralan ko pa lang ngayon. If ever, 10 years na sana ako nags-soundsystem/set-up."

And he asked me, "Ikaw ba, kunwari sa December gagraduate ka na, after nun ano balak mong gawin?" And I couldn't answer him yet. He asked, "Di ba less than 2 years, graduate ka na. Sa ilang taon na inaral mo, pag grumaduate ka na pano mo mababayaran yung pinagpaaral sa'yo pag nagkatrabaho ka na?" Again, I couldn't answer 'cause I was thinking of the best way to answer him. He again asked, "After niyan ano bang trabaho ang gagawin mo?" Then finally I said, "Usually kasi pag samin graduate ka, napupunta ka sa mga advertising, or magiging graphic artist or web designer ng isang company." He asked, "Yung mga prof mo ba ganun lang din ginagawa nila? Magkano ang bayad sa ganun?" These are not all the exact words but the essence is there. And he asked a question or two until we finally reached the gate of our house. The conversation ended there.

You see, wanting to study in CSB and take up Multimedia Arts was not just something I decided impulsively or like in a spur of the moment. Just because I wanted it, I immediately told them that 'this is what I want... blah blah'. No. I was so torn because one, CSB is so very far from where I live. Second, the tuition is expensive added to that is the tri-semestral curriculum of the college. Third, my parents won't allow me to commute and so my brothers will be the one who will drive me to and fro school. Fourth, they wanted me in UST because it's nearer. I considered all these and everything else. What they would feel, what I would feel, the risks I'm going to take and of rejection and everything elseeee. I thought through everything before I went and said it to them. I was so emotional during that time. I thought things through because I wanted so badly to take up MMA and if they won't allow me to, I thought of things that would convince them. And if they won't allow me still, then okay. I'll stop. But fortunately, after I said it to my brothers then they said it to mom&dad, they thought things through too. I waited patiently and prayed to God that they'd finally come to their decision and realize that this is what I want and I know what I want.

My brothers and I are very different when it comes to the courses they took up in college. My two brothers took up Business Management and the other one took up BA History. They took it because well, Bus.Mgnt. since we have a family business and History, because my brother was late on enrollment and the course he wanted to take which was Music was I think in quota so he had no choice but to choose those that are non-quota. I, on the other hand, always knew that this was what I always wanted to do. And I see myself doing this, being a multimedia artist. I never pictured myself being in the family business and such. That's why I was so bummed when my dad told me to pick a course in UST, when I was in Academic Placement, that would be in line to our business. I unwillingly chose Commerce, which I got in to, and another was I.T., which I never really got the chance to see if I ever got in. I remember last year when my brother once said while we were eating, "Grabe si Cha 'tol no, tayo basta maka-graduate lang, siya alam niya talaga gusto niya." And I was proud of myself for knowing that I do know what I want to do.

I may not know what I would exactly do after I graduate but I know that it's related to anything multimedia.

Our society would always belittle those courses which is related to the arts department. Let's face it, they always do. And I feel that whenever my relatives or even family friends ask me what my course is and what I would do after. They'd just go, "Ahh." I know Multimedia Arts is new to the country and only few people know about this. But without us(I'm saying multimedia artists included are photographers, filmmakers, graphic artists, webdesigners, animators, illustrators, etc.), what would companies do? Who will advertise their product? How will they? Who would do commercials? Who would do movies? Who would take their photos and capture videos on film? Would there be a Pixar? Would there even be media? No, I don't think so. And they say you won't go anywhere when you're an artist unless you're a celebrity. I know some people belittle art courses, they think it's easy but in fact, it's not. We just love what we do that's why it doesn't look so hard. Well at least, for me. But then again, who cares if you don't get so rich? You love what you do, it makes you happy and it creates satisfaction to you, the end. Some people, though rich are not happy with their lives. What would I rather choose? I'd choose to live the life I'm happy in and the life I always imagined myself to be in. I won't ever choose a life, even a rich life, just because it was unwillingly forced into me.

Sure, I'm not getting a PhD or not a Biology, Chemistry, Law, or Accounting student but I've always wanted to prove to them that this isn't easy as it looks. It's hard to think of a good concept or make a realistic photo manipulation or do plates. I always wanted to prove to them that I can go somewhere and I will be successful someday. That I will be someone someday.

And I believe I can be.

Well..

I can't exactly think the right words to put in this post. Or rather, I can't think of what to post! LOL. So... well, I've just been reading my secret blog and maybe I'll post tidbits of it on my next post. I'm not really in the mood to write. Though I really want to. Haha. I have a lot to say though. I just need time to figure the right words to say.

Anyways, I just want to share this painting. I really love the meaning behind this.


This piece entitled Wanderer above the Sea of Fog says so much about life. The wanderer is at the top of a mountain looking over and facing other mountains though it's very foggy. It says so much about our goals in life, on reaching it and our struggles before we do. No matter how much we fall down, if we're brave enough to face it and stand up again, we'll get to reach our goals. This represents our triumph over the struggles in life. Hence, the wanderer standing at the top of the mountain.

And you see the wanderer facing the sea of fog, though represents the uncertainties of life and future, he stands there bravely. He doesn't escape the things he's supposed to face no matter how scary the uncertainties of the future are. Really, who doesn't think that uncertainties are scary? Well for me it is scary. It takes a lot of courage to face it.

Whoo HARTDS2! Haha, I learned about this in our class. I can relate, I think most of us do, so I really loved it-- mostly the meaning behind the painting. ;) Did I make sense? Haha, I get so confusing at times when explaining. :)) I hope I did. ;)

Hey, this is really not what I wanted to blog. Just came up to me. Haha. Yeah, later when I have more to say. Now, I'll go read MySpace novels. XD

You know what sucks?

K so I haven't really posted a real update for the past uh, weeks. I wasn't planning to blog tonight but I just have to rant this thing I have been thinking of since last week. It just got into me though it often happens to us for the longest time.

So before that, I'm going to excuse myself for not being able to blog. Although this won't really be a valid one since my schoolmates have been able to update theirs no matter how busy it is in school these days. It's not THAT busy though, I just like to be 'busy'. :)) But forealz, it's August now and all the workload has been dumped into us by our professors, and they're not even our design/major profs! Okay, maybe I'm just lazy. And whenever I thought of updating, I'm not able to do it since I'm being distracted by either Plurk or the Twilight updates. Soyeah.

I'm gonna talk about my life these days. Seriously I've never felt this scared. Like everyday, you're scared of something, like something is going to happen terrible. Almost every single freakin' day, I'm scared that I almost would not want to live the day but I have to. There's this voice inside me that says I have to get through the day, that I should. It's not suicidal okay? :)) It's just like I want to escape the everyday stresses and fears I'm experiencing. One reason for that is ORALCOM. I hate public speaking. I obviously am not confident with myself. I know it's those kind of things I have to improve but fear just gets in the way. Main reason why I have these quotes written on my Starbucks Planner, "Don't ever let fear hold you back." and "Why worry if you can pray?", so I won't get so scared and worry so much anymore. I wasn't having this problem back in high school, maybe a little bit, but not this kind of fear. Back in high school, we were trained to speak in front a lot during our Speech Laboratory classes and we were so used to it that it helped me gain my confidence. Back in senior year, I had to speak in front of the whole school body and deliver my speech during our Student Council Miting De Avance and didn't have any problem with that. I feel like my self-confidence has decreased to a depressing level. And I don't like that, it makes me feel frustrated about myself.

Second is that... well, *can't think of any other reason*, OHYEAH, P.E.! :)) Just because I don't know anyone there. Though I'm getting better with talking to people in that class and I now have people to play table tennis with. So I'm kind of okay with that now. *insert dancing banana here*

K next. It's August now.. which means, last month of the term; finals; more plates; projects; more projects; and of course, BREAKING DAWN RELEASE! So that last one makes my August bearable. *dancing banana* I told you above that our prof dumped us bunch of workloads, specifically our PHILIEN(Philippine Literature in English) professor. We have to make a scrapbook consisting of the things we treasure most and a comics interpreting Bringing the Dolls, and it's all due on Tuesday! We also need to create a magazine about ourselves(I think) for the finals. Talk about expenses. I'm broke, you know. I just spent my savings on buying a new optical mouse and a 1GB DDR2 RAM for my PC. I don't regret buying it though, why of course why would I? It made my computer perform faster! *dancing banana again* And I wouldn't have to lag so much when AVG scans my computer, just like what it's doing now, and I'm not lagging unlike before *annoyed emoticon from plurk*. Also, I wouldn't have to deal with my old mouse. You know the mouse with the ball? LMAO.

Add to the school works are my DESPRIN plates, HARTDS1 Finals exhibit(on which I have to make a product that's wearable or we can use and it should be inspired by an art era like the Egyptian or Christian art, etc. Any ideas? :D), ORALCOM speeches(oh no for impromptu speeches!), and uhm, yeah I think that's it. Ohyeah, BASICOM! BASICOM company website and our defense! Mannn. With all that, I think I have to go now to finish my plate but I haven't gotten to the main point of this post yet.

I've posted this on Plurk. I hate being compared. I hate being misunderstood. I hate being underestimated. I know it's one way of driving someone to do better. You know, I'm really trying hard to do better and I think I'm successful in doing so. This is most likely to be such a teenage angst but I don't think they appreciate it all. Well maybe they do, but I don't feel it. It's when I do things that aren't acceptable that they notice. It's not that I do much of that but it's mostly the mistakes, you know? It sucks. Especially being underestimated, like I can't do this and I don't know this when in fact I actually do. It makes me feel so less of myself. Like they make me feel I'm stupid. I know I have to wake up early and mostly my fault why I'm always late, yes okay, but I'm so sleep deprived that I'm not able to do so. I often stay up late cos I'm doing something school-related. I'm often in front of the computer cos that's what my course requires. I know they're just concerned about me. But I think they have to understand my side too. Which I cannot make them understand cos I can't say anything to them. I don't want to argue with them anymore so I just keep my mouth shut.

Sucks that way. You know, I really have the drive to prove to them that I will be someone someday. I just need them to believe in me. And I don't feel that they do. *tears*

Ain't that bad, yo.

One week has passed! Dohhhh. So, I should've posted a blog last Saturday or Sunday but I got lazy. Yessss I'm a super lazy me. LOL. Huwat?! =))

So, last Tuesday was my birthday. But it felt like my birthday was the whole week. Friends kept greeting me a happy birthday everytime I go to school. =)) Lmao! That was fun. But the birthday itself wasn't much of a good day. Probably because nothing much has happened during the day. We(Neela, CJ and I) just went to MOA to kill time since we have a 3-hour break. And then DESPRIN(Principles of Design) changed the so-so mood of the day cos I was so excited for Cerisse! =)) HAHAHA. Shaks ah, nabanggit pa you here sa blog ko! LMAO! =)) Then our planned TriNoMa birthday celebration didn't push through since the people my parents invited couldn't come so we ate at Seaside instead. Good foodddd. I love good food! But the mood of the day continued. I can just say I wasn't ultimately happy. I thought my 17th was the suckiest day ever. LOL. Well not really, it's just that it's not a really good day I guess. Idk. :)) But I appreciate everything everyone had done to make it the happiest day possible though.

So ya, my Saturday celebration somehow paid for it anyway. Cossss, I SAW MY HIGH SCHOOL SUPERFRIENDS once again! Ohgosh, how I loved it. Haha, srsly! Though not everyone could come, it was nice cos I get to hang-out with them a bit, talk and catch up. Damn I missed them so! I wish I could like go out with them at least once a week! Haha but things need plans so.. sometimes it can't be possible. And I really appreciate those people who just dropped by to greet me a happy birthday. Or para lang mapaunlakan yung invitation ko sa kanila. Oh wow, that's... deep! Haha. So yeah, cos that was a Saturday and my invitation was such a short notice but they went anyway even if they have plans that night. Meant a lot, really. :] But I really hope we'd get together some time. Like, all of us! I really really wish to have a high school batch reunion before the year ends! IT'S A MUST EVERY YEAR! :)) At least for me. :] And.. only three of my college friends went cos most of them are from the south so they couldn't come. Laughtrip lang si Kevin Chua at Pem cos they really went! HAHA. Though they're north people, Fairview is still far y'know. :)) AND IT'S ALL BECAUSE OF THE FOOD. =)) Nyahaha! It was fun though.

On to a new topic. Last Thursday after my 8pm class, my parents and brother(2nd) went to fetch me. Just that time they told me that we're going to a family friend's wake. That family friend was my Kuya Raymond's(3rd) high school batchmate/bandmate and maybe best friend and an ex-bandmate(Pure Instinct). LOL. Labo na! [FLASHBACK] Back then, I was still in grade school, the families of every person included in their band went to our house just because and also to check how the band's doing and all. And so our family became friends with my brother's friend's family. Lol, is that right? =)) To the point that we even celebrated our Pre-New Year all together. That was fun! I can still remember that time, way back 2000 I think or 2001 before our family went to Cebu to spend the New Year. :)) [/END FLASHBACK] It was his dad's wake. And his dad passed away on my birthday! :o So I figured that was why my parents and my brother was so dressed up like they're going somewhere after. So yeah, meron nga! Haha. We went to Sanctuarium and I was so hungry since I didn't eat before my class! BOO-HOO. Luckily there's a mini-store inside and I ate siopao just to somehow ease my hungriness. Lol. Then we went up and I saw my brother's high school friends, my brother of course and his girl friend. One of my bro's HS friends was like, "O Cha! Ang laki niyo na ah! *points to other people with the same age as me or older*" And I realized that one person he pointed at was our family friend's brother. And it came to me.. "Oh no. Shocks. Makikita ko siya!" HAHAHA. So this is another story.

So, my brother's bestfriend has two younger brothers. The one I saw was his second younger brother. Since my brother's HS bandmates' family often come to our house then, we somehow get to know them a little. And my kuya's bestfriend(he was the vocalist of their HS band) has this brother(his third younger brother), a year older than me. Back in grade 4, I had a crush on him. LMAO! And he knew! Their AM class knew! Cos in our school, for grade school there were only two sections: AM and PM. So I was grade 4 and he was grade 5. GAH. :)) I didn't know HOW they knew! And my brother's HS friends as well as my brother knew. And they kept on pairing us then. Tuksuhan and all. Nakakahiya yun noh! Haha! I can still remember, omay! Haha. It was funny cos we never talked. Maybe once or twice when there were circumstances that were unavoidable like when my mom told me to show him where the telephone was or when he went to the house to drop by food or something, my mom usually told me to get it. LMAO. And that's not even called a real talk! :)) So I guess we were really shy =)) Or ako lang! Haha. Laughtrip! :)) And oohhhh! [FLASHBACK]I can still remember, before our school held an event where chosen students will perform and he was one of those students. My friends were there too! They were gon' dance! Then my friends were telling me that he was really good. Or at least that's what I can remember. Haha! Then on the day of the performance, he was like all over the place! LMAO. I was like, "wth?!" I was looking at him cos he was my friend's partner! Eh ayun, di ko na lang tinitingnan. Na-shy? Haha! Jokes amp na-peeling naman ako nun =)) Feel ko na-conscious eh. Haha! I told to my friend, "Bat ganon partner mo? Parang hindi alam steps." She said, "Ewan ko, nung practice naman okay siya e." [/END FLASHBACK] :)) I remember the last time I saw him was back in 2nd year HS. [FLASHBACK]They went to my brother's gig at Ratsky and he and his mom were there because at that time, Kuya X(his bro) was already part of my bro's band. We were on the same table! And I can't even look at him. My mom and his mom were just talking. Nakakatawa, swear! Then when we arrived home, my mom told me.. "Bakit di kayo nag-uusap nung kapatid ni *insert my bro's bestfriend name here*?" I said, "Ha? Ewan ko, di kami close e. Haha!" Pero I think at that time, I was thinking, "yak nakakahiya noh!" Haha! Then my mom said, "Natatawa kanina mommy niya sainyong dalawa. Nagkakahiyaan pa daw kayo. Sabi niya sakin, may gusto daw kasi yun dati sa'yo." NYAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! =)) Natawa na lang ako. [/END FLASHBACK]

Too many flashbacks, eh? Haha. So yeah, I'm right. The moment I entered the room, he was the first one I saw. =)))))) NYAHAHHAHA! I was like, "=o" HAHA! Homaygallywow. But of course I didn't let my reaction show! Haha. Then when my brother(3rd) told the story of how Kuya X's dad died and all, he mentioned about the brothers and he saw me kind of smiled a bit. It's not even called a smile! Haha. Well I reacted a bit and he saw that, and he reacted and smiled at me. Then started teasing me and told my mom and dad about me having a crush on Kuya X's brother before. Haha! And he started telling it to our family friends, those who weren't there in our lives yet during that time. Haha. Then he told me, "Alam ko na birthday gift ko sa'yo Cha! Papakilala kita!" LMAO! And he told it to Kuya X, his bestfriend! Kinilig naman! AMPOPO. But I know they were just tripping.. a bit! Cos with them, sometimes they can really get serious with tripping. Lol. Pero sobrang laughtrip yung itsura nilang dalawa na nagbubulungan and all =)) Lalo na yung itsura nila nung 'kinikilig' sila.I couldn't do anything about it! All I can say is, "Ugh nakakainis ka kuya!" =)) But yeah, it didn't happen. =)) Thhankkkkk God! My face would've looked funny if that happens. :)) Cos I prolly wouldn't know how to react. :)) I saw my former high schoolmate and now college schoolmate at the wake. Shocked ako. :)) I guess they're friends cos they're on the same village. Anyway, the day after my brother told me that Kuya X's brother got shy too. =)) LMAO. And oh, in case you're wondering how he looks now... :"> HAHAHA. Isang napakalaking SHET at OMG lang ang masasabi ko. :"> =))) Getitttt? Haha!

THIS IS A SO LONG POST. T_T Bah. This is what happens when I don't blog for a week. Lol.

Anyway, DESPRIN wasn't that bad. We had our first plate and it was kinda fun. Though I couldn't think of what to draw instantly, it was very challenging. LOL. I didn't get to finish my plate though. I just had it signed by my prof so em gonna pass them next week.

I just figured, the past keep coming to my present. And so my past becomes part of my present and I don't even ask for it. :))

Gah I'm laazy now. Bye.

A blessed day.

Last April 23, we celebrated my Dad's birthday in our new house. Along with that is the House Blessing. So at around 10-11am, the priest arrived and after the house blessing, he ate with us. Mahaba-haba nga ang sermon niya. Haha. But it was really really nice. It was nice to bond with my family like that. The priest also told us about the Philippines, why our country is like this, etc etc, and how there is still hope for our country to rise up. Everything that's happening in our country now are just challenges. It's up to us how we're going to conquer all those challenges. The government is the one that leads, guides and controls our country, but it is really us, the people, who will make our country a better place. And how are we going to do that? Go back to where everything started, family. The family is the first school, first church, first everything. That's why family matters a lot. I have learned a lot from just one day, one day. And I love it. :)

Later on in the afternoon, our pastor friend from Cornerstone Christian Church dropped by to give the cake to my dad and he prayed us over. It was really touching. My dad cried. So as my brother, Kuya Carlos. I was nearly in tears, and so as my mom. I never felt God more than that day. I felt really blessed. Who could ever thought that that day would be that blessed? First birthday on our new home, I can feel God's presence more than ever. Pastor Fred said that "your greatest wealth is the relationship with your family." True enough. I cannot ever forget that line. He also said that no matter how many challenges had come into our lives and how many things there were that's lost and left behind, God will give us even more than what we lost. Proverbs 24:16 says, "a righteous man falls seven times, and rises again"/"No matter how often honest people fall, they always get up again; but disaster destroys the wicked." I know how much things aren't the same as they were before and how many mistakes have been made in the past, but we're almost getting to the way it has been before, only that we're coming up as better people for the betterment of everyone, especially our family. Family is priceless.

That day, I was being sad because of something or rather someone. But after everything that has happened during that day, I had no reason to be sad at all. Because I am very blessed. I am very grateful and thankful that I am with my family. And they're there for me, we will always have each other. And that friend I was being sad about, will also have my back, no matter what.

Well, some of the people who reads my blog knows who that person is.

You know this past few days, I've been... I don't, I can't explain how I'm feeling really. I just know that I miss someone. Period. And it's just that no matter how much you do things, how much you occupy yourself doing a LOT of things, in the end, the pain just comes back again. The feeling and the thinking is still there. And it really sucks. Sometimes I wish I could just sleep forever. Well no, not really, but it's in sleep that I'm peaceful and have nothing to think about. Maybe this will pass, just maybe. Maybe because it's summer and school's not on the way and yeah. Sigh. Why am I feeling pain? Why am I being sad? Well it's just because reality keeps slapping me in my face. Yes yes, it does. But what can I do? It's reality, I need to deal with it.

See, last night I turned off the PC earlier than what I used to, but I can't sleep and I don't want to yet. So I went to my brother's room. Nakipagkulitan. Kumain. Nag-exercise. Palakad-lakad, pabalik-balik. Then my brother asked me, "Cha? Musta?" and how the usual me would say, "Okay lang." Then tries to look okay. I just wanted to take that feeling away, and I can't explain WHAT feeling that is. I played the guitar, asked my brother what song is easy to play, he told me the chords of Always Be My Baby and there, I played it. Turned on my pc again, played it over and over. Searched for the chords of Realize by Colbie Callait, Say it again by Marie Digby and all that. My fingers hurt. But it was fine. As long as I don't feel that feeling. But after everything, it's just didn't work. It's still there. So I went to sleep at 4am. Again.

I just hate how I'm always like that. Whenever I feel something that would make me ultimately happy, I always hold it back. I always hold it back. And what does it get me? It pains me. I'm always scared to get hurt. I'm always scared to be happy. Cos every time I'm happy, I always think that there will be something that will make me sad. Gah, I don't know. I just.. blah.

Anyway, on the lighter side(lolz), I kept thinking about this conversation I had with my brother's ex. She asked me what will I do after I graduate, then I said, "job?" She said, "further studies?" Yes, I want to. But you know how life is hard nowadays. I want to go study in another art school outside the country to get a second degree or masters or whatever you call that. I just love education. I love to learn. But she said, that she thinks I can do it. And she will continue to believe in me. She's going to the U.S. later this year to I think, study again. She's in Singapore right now, studying as an Economics major. How cool is that? She said she'll help me get financial support when I really want to and I'm serious about it. And last night, I searched for the top art schools in the U.S. and I looked into The Art Institute of California and the Academy of Art University. Those are both in California, Los Angeles and California respectively. But after much surfing in both websites, I decided that I want to go to the Academy of Art University! LOLZ. But what the hell, can I ever do that? I was so overwhelmed last night when I saw all that. I don't know though. It's not a crime to dream, is it? Dream on, Cha. Dream on.

Anyway, that's about it. Thanks for everyone who commented on my layout and previous blog post! :D Much loves. :)

An-April-19-blog-post

IT'S OFFICIALLY VACATION TIME FOR ME!

Been a long long time since I went online. For almost like a month I think? So I have here a little run through of what's happened in my life for the past month:

1. We moved in to our new house in Fairview. It may be far from my school, but heck, who cares? I'm gonna make sure my sacrifices will be all worth it. Glad I'm not moving in to a new school!

2. Since we moved in to our new house, we have had delicious foods! :)) As in, seriously! I have noticed that even before but my dad said it just yesterday. Thank God for the blessings!

3. Since we moved in to our new house, our internet's bummed so I wasn't able to go online. SMARTBRO sucks. SMARTBROken. Lol. When our account expires, we'll surely gonna change our connection. We should.

4. Frosh year is over! Oh yes! I'm not a frosh anymore but a sophomore! Can you believe that? Cliche as it may sound but time flies by really fast. It's so overwhelming. So many things to do, so little time. But it would help me be responsible in managing with my time, right?

5. I passed all my subjects this term! THANK GOD! I THANK GOD SO MUCH 100x!!! You know, I was worried a hell lot about my grades in two subjects. Business Math was okay until our prof told us our standings before our final exams. I had to get half of my final exam to pass! Our Final exam only had 2 questions, all worth #(forgot) points.

And my World Literature class, well I was so worried about this. In her[my prof] class, I don't really participate. I wasn't active. And to top off, I was always late. I knew I had a low midterm grade that I didn't know. So I really studied for her final exam. It was the last resort I had to prove to her that I deserve a passing grade, at least. I knew I didn't give my best this term, especially in her class. I had to prove to her that I am so much better than what she thinks. Because I know I am. I just didn't exert much effort to make her see that, and as well as in my other subjects. I knew I wasn't in my best form. I guess I had to be in the danger zone first to make me realize how I was and how I did. I should have done my part at the start of the term, but I didn't. I ultimately learned the hard way.

And because of that, I ultimately promised myself that I will do much much better next time. Better than what I had been, better than what I am. I hope I will be able to do that, and not just eat my words at the end of the term, again asking God for another chance to make things right. No, I hope not. God might not give me another chance to do so because I knew I had the chance already and didn't use it well.

6. GRADES GRADES GRADES.
COMSK2x - 3.0 Our Project Plan proposal presentation went really well and I worked hard on my video resume.
PETWODA - 3.0 Heck, why the hell my grade is 3.0? It's the only P.E. class yet that I wasn't able to get a 4.0! To think it was Dance! WTF? I wasn't able to get it myself so I wasn't able to question her about it. Anyway, it's fine. Well, no it isn't. I believe I deserve more than a 3.0, maybe a 3.5 will do. But I don't know.
PHILOMA - 2.5 Well I guess I deserve this grade. :) Hooray for one PHILOMA prof for the cheats! I guess everyone knew the answers for the matching type and true or false(alternate answers).
RECONSE - 3.5 WHOA! I was surprised to know that I got 3.5 for this subject. Not that I don't deserve it, I just didn't expect to get this grade. I got 3.0 for the midterms and I managed to get this. How cool was that? :))
FILIP13 - 2.5 It's kinda okay. I got a 3.0 for the midterms and I guess I deserve this one. Maybe I didn't get a high score in my final exams.
BMAT2x- 2.0! That would be equal to 80-84. Would you believe mehnnn?! I was just praying for a 1.0! A passing grade! But I got a 2.0 instead! How ultimately cool was that man? :))
WORLITE- 1.5 Okay, I am happy that I got this grade at least! I got a missed call from my prof and that meant that I need to pass a poster-like work to pull up my grade. I will make an artwork about one story we discussed and how I understood it in class. A catchy by-line is required too, just like what we did in our poster activity in class. I had it printed on A4 and had it laminated. My friends were miss called too. We were really scared. I rushed the poster I did 'cause my prof called at around 12:30-1:00-ish in the morning and I was already asleep then. I woke up at 10:30am! And my phone was bombarded with my friends' text messages. I called them and they were already at school. So I made the poster for like 2 hours and arrived at school at around 3pm. So yeah, we waited for like an hour because our prof wasn't there yet. I thought I'm going to be there for only 30 minutes but add an hour on that, so my brothers waited for me at McDo for about 1 and a half hour. Oopsie. :)) My prof told me that I passed the final exam and told me that maybe I studied for the exam :)) Well I did, really. So yeah. Here's my work btw. :o

Again, it's a vector. The first vector is recycled. The second and third one, well, I got their pictures from my brother's wedding. LOL. I've been addicted to doing vectors lately. I did it for only two hours 'cause I was rushing so it's not so good.

7. My dad's birthday is coming up! It's on Wednesday. It turns out that Ate Lhyn[my cousin's wife] and Ate Gem's[family friend] daughter is also celebrating their birthday on the same day! So we're gonna celebrate it here in our new home! That would be really fun! First birthday on our new house. The house blessing will be on that day too. I'm gonna post a lot of pictures if I can take a lot. :)

8. NEW LAYOUT! How do you like it? :)

So that's it.

I missed a lot in the web world and as well as in the blogosphere. I missed reading your blogs! I'm surely going to keep up with everything. Ohyay.

Not-so-holy-week.

Last night was the most FUNNEST night I ever had since I don't know when! SRSLY! It was an unexpected get-together, or night out as you may call it.

But anyway, I'm going to start off with my day. First, Mom, Dad and I went to Fairview to check when we can already move some things in the house. Probably, by Monday we can start moving things already since maybe by that time, some parts of the house are already fixed. They said we should already be there on the 31st. I am soo excited! Yep, I am excited now. Haha. Man, it's a lot of work! I saw my room too! It's bigger than my room now. Hooray! I can't wait to decorate and design it, lol. I hope they would allow me to paint it with the color I want to. The only thing I can say about the house is, WOW. I can now imagine the Christmas Party we could have there. We can run around for the relay game. :)) Sobrang init din kahapon, grabe. Mabaliw na yata ako dun. Lakad lang ako ng lakad, paikot-ikot. Hinintay pa kasi namin si kuya Raymond kasama si Ate Therese. When they came, we toured them around the house. Then after, we went to San Benissa to check out Ate Therese's condo unit. We just saw the model unit since the way to her building is still under construction. Ang ganda sobra sa San Benissa! Spanish-inspired nga. I felt like I was in Spain! SRSLYYYY! It was a cute community. Haha, cute. :)) Parang American way of living. Bumili pa kami ng inumin since sobrang uhaw na kami at napakain pa tuloy ng La Paz Batchoy. Haha. We left around 6-ish.

Tapos, napag-alaman kong pupunta pala sila Kuya sa SM para manood ng sine. Ayun, napasama tuloy ako. We watched Meet the Spartans. Laugh trip. Pero di ko masyado nagustuhan na as in super. Di namin naabutan yung first 20 minutes kasi kumain pa kami sa Pizza Hut. But it wasn't the real reason though. Ate Therese and I went to the comfort room which was on the 3rd floor. After, we saw this big black circle and we got curious what's it for. It was asking which is faster to go down, 25-cents, 1-peso or 5-peso. LOL. Promise, sinasayang lang nila ang pera niyo. :)) 5-peso was fastest. LOL. Parang sira lang. Law of gravity chuva daw, ngek. :)) Because of that, we were late. :)) So then, we left SM at 10-ish.

Kuya Jeff invited Ate Therese and Kuya to go to their gig at Mugen, Metrowalk even before we got at SM. I think we weren't supposed to go at Mugen though, but my brother got pissed about something that I don't know what. So we went. I was like, WHAT?! :)) I was wearing a shirt, capri pants and slippers. It was really unexpected. I said, if I would have known that they were going there, I wouldn't come. But after everything, I take that back. I KNEW I SHOULD BE THERE. :)) I would definitely miss the half of my 2008 if I didn't go!

Sobrang sobrang fun talaga! Lahat kami parang 1st time ulit to go in a bar(with bands ah) after we don't know when. Ako siguro nung... basta di ko na matandaan, alam ko simula nung wala na sila kuya. I was surprised that Kuya Carlos was there with them too. Haha. So lahat kaming magkakapatid nandun(except for Kuya Ian of course, 'cause he's in Davao). Wudyubeliv. Along with, Ate Gem, Ate Lhyn, Kuya Sonny and Kuya Ces. So there were 8 of us.

Sa bands kasi, usually 3rd set sila nagpapa-jam. Laging sinasabi ni Kuya Jeff na may magj-jam from Pure Instinct simula pa nung 1st at 2nd set nila. Syempre, na-excite naman kaming lahat kasi sobrang na-miss namin silang mag-perform! Sinasabi ko lagi kay Ate Therese during that time, "Nakakamiss yung ganito." Kasi laging sila(Pure Instinct) ang pinapanood namin 'pag lumalabas. Ngayon, sila na ang kasama namin pag nanonood.. ng ibang banda. :(

Third set came and the jamming started. OHYE. Nung tinawag na si Kuya Amon to play the guitar, and another guy, a Korean, to play the bass, we were all like screaming our lungs out! SOBRA. Lalo naman nung nag-perform na si Kuya. TALAGA NAMAN MEHN. Hataw! They played Play that Funky Music. OMG GRABE TALAGA. FANS CLUB KAMI! :)) After, sigawan talaga! Si Ate Therese ang haba ng hair. Hahaha. Sabi naman ni Kuya Amon, napansin daw niya nung adlib na, bumagal daw siya. Taeng bumagal yan, ayos nga yung pag-perform niya dun. Bumagal pa ang kamay niya sa lagay na yun. Sayang hindi niya ginawa yung exhibition na ginagawa nila ni kuya Ian, yung ilalagay sa likod yung gitara. IDOL TALAGA! It would have been better though if both of them were there, but of course it's not possible.

Akala namin yun na, tapos na, na si kuya Amon lang ang magj-jam. Pero syempre I was hoping na magj-jam pa si Kuya Sonny at Kuya Carlos. When the band said na one more jammer to go, sumigaw si ate Therese, "SONNY! CARLOS!". Sabi ni Kuya Jeff, "Oo, two more pa pala." Sigawan kameeee. :)) Hahaha. Tapos nung tinawag na sila, we were telling them, "Go na! Goooo!" E si Kuya Sonny medyo wala na sa katinuan, haha. Hindi naman, kaya naman, sabog lang siya. :))

Pag-akyat nila ng stage, kwento nila kuya, di daw nila alam anong song yung ip-perform nila, tapos nagulat na lang sila na Bring Me to Life yun. Haha. Edi go. SOBRANG sigaw kami ng sigaw dun! Ang ingay namin! Kami yung pinaka-maingay. Haha. Tapos si Ate Therese sumisigaw, "Magbalikan na kayo! Wala na akong gimik!" :)) Totoo naman e, simula nung wala na sila, hindi na talaga nakakalabas. Sobrang tuwang-tuwa at masayang-masaya ako after. Nag-hug pa nga sila pagtapos e. :D Aw. Sayang hindi kumpleto. Pero okay lang, sobrang masaya naman kasi after how many months, nakita namin sila ulit mag-perform! Si Kuya Jeff nga, hindi siya kasama sa song, nakaupo lang sa tabi, di niya napigilang mapatayo at pumunta rin ng stage e. At some point, I knew they will miss what they were doing for almost 12 years of their lives. And we, also missed them. Sayang kasi talaga. They're still young and they're great at what they do. And with just that, everything fell apart. It was really really sad. I had a hard time accepting that 'cause all my life(srsly!), I've been used to seeing them perform a lot. They were my idols. I seriously don't know how they do it, they're really really good. And I'm not telling this because they're my brothers/cousins. It's because they really are good. Sobrang proud ako tuwing nakikita ko silang mag-perform. Sabi nga ni Kuya Sonny nun, "Nasa dugo natin yan 'tol". Every Wednesday tumutugtog sila Kuya Jeff dun. Btw, Kuya Jeff is my brother's ex-bandmate and Kuya Amon's high school friend, bestfriend. Sabi nila, dapat daw every Wednesday ganun. Then kami yung Wednesday group. :)) Haha.

I can't wait to see them perform again. I plan to make them perform on my debut next year, if ever possible. I would ultimately love that. :D And at last, kagabi rin! NAKITA KO NA RIN SUMAYAW SI KUYA CARLOS! :)) WAHAHAHA. :)) After the jamming kasi, the band played dance songs. Una, nakaupo pa si kuya dun, then I don't remember sinong humila sa kanya para tumayo, then ayun, napasayaw na rin. OHYE. :)) Hahaha. Ang saya, lahat kami sumasayaw nun. Since walang dance floor, dun sa may table. Haha. Nakahilera kami dun na para bang kami lang yung tao. We went home at around 3 to 4-ish. Sumabay ako kila Kuya Ces since andun si Kuya Carlos, they dropped us off at Quezon Ave. since his car was there, wala kasi siyang kasama mag-drive pauwi so ako na lang. Nag-drive thru pa kami sa jollibee. When we got home, mom and dad was awake. :)) Tapos ayun, nagkwentuhan kami sa kwarto nila while eating. I love those moments, it's priceless. :) These moments are priceless. :)

--
Btw, thanks for all your comments guys. <3 style="font-style: italic;">3 and a half years lang dun, tri-sem kasi. Mag-2nd year na siya e, konti na lang graduate na." And I was telling my mom when we were in the house, "Napalayo naman ako." She said, "Okay lang, kelangan lang maaga gumising." So yeah. YEEE. :D

I don't know what to do.

At last, they told me.

Lilipat kami ng bahay. Mas malayo, sa Fairview na. Malaki raw. Ang mga kwarto namin malaki, lahat may banyo. May terrace, may mapagpapractice-an ng sayaw, at lahat lahat na. Nung nakita raw ng kuya ko, isa lang raw nasabi niya, mansion.

Dun pala sila pumunta kanina, habang ako naghihintay sa Convergy's para sunduin nila. Galing ako ng TriNoma kanina then my friend dropped me off there. Sabi tumambay muna ako ng Starbucks, pero dahil naisipan kong wag na lang dahil mapapagastos nanaman ako, sa Ministop na lang. Matagal e, kaya naglakad na lang ako pauwi. Tutal kaya ko naman. Akala ko nandun si kuya, pero nalaman kong magkakasama pala silang lahat.

Grabe. Grabe talaga.

Nagsimba kami dahil Palm Sunday. After, we went to Pancake House sa Convergys. There, they told me. At last.

Hindi ko alam bakit hindi nila agad sinabi sa akin. Hindi ko malalaman kung hindi dahil sa kuya ko. Sinabi lang niya na 'wag ko ipaalam kila Mom na sinabi niya sa 'kin. Bakit ayaw nilang ipaalam sa akin? Bakit ayaw nilang malaman ko? Even if malalaman ko rin naman in the long run?

Ganun naman lagi eh. It seems like I don't have any right to know what's happening? Am I not part of the family? Because, really, everyone knows but me! And you know how much that sucks? It sucks big time. And my dad was saying that I am innocent? Grabe. He doesn't know that I know then. I may not know everything that's happening but I am not stupid to not have any clue on what are they doing. They make me look like I'm stupid. I just wanted them to tell me. Everytime I'm there, they're not talking about it. If I'm not there, they talk a lot. It's painful. It feels like they don't want me to grow up. And maybe they thought I would not understand. I will be so disappointed if that will be their reason. I am so disappointed that they think of me that way. Maybe they don't really know me. Grabe.

Now, that's fine with me because they already told me. Even if it took so much time before they told me. Okay the house is big. I've always dreamt of a house big enough for me. I should be happy and be jumping up and down now. But I'm not.

Lilipat rin daw ako ng school. Sobrang nagulat ako dun. Hindi ko alam kung nagbibiro sila o hindi. Hindi ko alam kung sobrang tuloy o hindi. Pero that trigerred me to just blow up and cry right then and there at Pancake House. But I held it back, I don't want them to see me cry and I don't want people to see me cry really hard there. Hindi na lang ako nagsalita. Gusto nila akong lumipat either UP or Ateneo(my bro said this). Mas okay di ba? Pero hindi eh. Tinanong ako ng dad ko kung matataas daw ba ang grades ko. Tapos mag-inquire din daw kami sa UP about transferring. And other stuff like that. Natulala na lang ako. Wala akong masabi. Maiyak-iyak na ako. Alam kong mas okay, pero... hindi talaga e. Walang MMA dun. Gusto ko sa MMA. I don't want to leave my CSB friends. CSB has been my turf. It's where I am happy and comfortable with. My friends are superb and I am very lucky to have them in my life. Akala ko okay na lahat when I told them na dun ko gusto mag-aral. Akala ko wala nang mangyayaring ganito. But really, life plays with you when you least expect it.

You know, I never imagined myself to be in CSB and taking up MMA then because it's far from where I live. But now that I'm there, I don't want to leave anymore. It's where I now imagined myself to be in for the next 2 or 3 years. Nung nalaman ko yun, parang lahat ng yun, biglang naglaho. It all shattered into pieces. My dreams, my heart, everything. Every little thing I imagined, every dream I had, every bit of myself was just shattered.

Kung alam ko lang na mangyayari 'to, edi sana hindi na ako nag-aral dun dba? Edi sana hindi ko na lang pinaglaban 'to. Sayang naman yung tatlong terms ko. Kung ayaw nila kung nasaan ako, kung ayaw nilang umalis at lumabas ako, kung nahihirapan sila, sabihin nila. Dahil ayoko ring nahihirapan sila dahil sa 'kin. Kaya ko naman e.

Lahat may paraan.

Sabi ko na nga ba dapat kumuha na lang ako ng scholarship noon. Kung dahil sa tuition, dahil alam kong napakamahal talaga at tri-sem pa, may paraan naman para diyan e. Scholarship. Naging open naman ako sa kanila about dyan, sabi nila okay lang. Okay lang na hindi kumuha, okay lang kung kumuha. Kung dahil sa layo, may paraan pa rin, commute! Hindi nila kelangang araw-araw akong ihatid at sunduin sa school. Kasi kakayanin ko namang mag-commute e. They just won't let me kaya iniisip ko rin na hindi ko kaya. I was willing to commute. I was willing to do everything just to be in CSB. Tapos ngayon, ganito? Sana hindi ko na lang talaga pinaglaban. Kasi in the first place, I knew na gusto talaga nila na sa UP ako mag-aral. Pero sorry hindi ako nakapasa. Akala ko kakayanin kong iwan ang CSB para sa UP. Pero hindi e.

Dapat maging masaya ako na malaki na ang lilipatan naming bahay. Pero hindi ako masaya. Aanhin ko ang malaking bahay kung hindi naman ako masaya? Mas mahalaga sa akin kung saan ako masaya. Mas mahalaga sa akin ang pangarap ko. Walang ibang nago-offer ng MMA kundi CSB lang. May APC rin naman pero malayo rin yun. Ganun din. Alam kong maraming alternatives, maraming pwedeng gawin. Pero hindi eh, hindi talaga. Kasi MMA ang gusto ko. Fit na fit sa 'kin yun e. Lahat ng gusto kong gawin nandun. Pwede akong mag-Information Design sa Ateneo, e ano, mas mahal naman ang tuition! Pwede akong mag-CommArts sa UP, pero ayoko ng CommArts. Hindi niyo siguro ako maiintindihan kasi wala kayo sa pwesto ko pero eto nararamdaman ko e.

Hindi ko alam anong gagawin ko. Kasi hindi ko maiwasang isipin na magiging selfish ang dating ko pag ganito, pag sarili ko lang ang iisipin ko. Alam kong nahihirapan sila, pero nahihirapan din ako. Mga kapatid ko ayos lang sa kanila e. Bakit? Kasi graduate na silang lahat! Yung kuya ko, ggraduate na ngayong March. Ako na lang natitira. At lahat naman sila nagwwork sa business namin. Kasi dun nila gusto. Pero may iba akong gusto e, may iba akong pangarap. May iba akong gustong gawin. Hindi ako magaling kumanta o tumugtog ng instrumento, pero mahilig ako sa musika. Hindi ako magaling sa sounds at lighting, pero marunong akong mag-appreciate. Hindi ako katulad nila. I didn't turn out to what they expect and what they want me to be. Because I have my own mind, own dreams, own thinking. Shouldn't they be proud that I know what I want and what I want to be? Shouldn't they be proud that I am capable of deciding for myself?

Sayang e, nandito na ako, aalis pa ako.

So tell me, am I being selfish? If I tell them this, am I being selfish?

A lot of questions are running through my mind. Gusto kong malaman ang mga sagot. Hindi ko alam anong gagawin ko ngayon. Nalulungkot ako. Naguguluhan ako.

Anong dahilan? Bakit nangyayari 'to ngayon? Bakit nangyayari 'to? :((

Bad week.

This week is really bad for me. :( And I hate it. I never had a week like this in college. It makes me sad.

Monday started out really well. Our waltz dance presentation in our P.E. class went really good considering that we taught it to our group mates for less than an hour. And the rest of the day went well.

Tuesday was the start of the bad day. I came to school late and I kept on debating with myself whether or not I will come to my 09:40 Literature class because I came to school at about 10:20. I was 40 minutes late. I should have come to class. I knew I should have. I missed our group song singing which according to my classmates is equivalent to 4 quizzes. Their group got 100. Now, I got 0 and I was marked absent. Great. I knew I should have been there.

Wednesday was fine too. But of course, it wasn't so great for me because my Tuesday sucked big time. I still regret the fact that I didn't come to class. Now, I have a big lesson learned: to still come to class even if you're 40 minutes late.

Thursday was steady. We had a free cut in our Literature class. That means I won't see err... my blockmates. So my first class was Filipino. Everything went fine. Cerisse and CJ went to Shang after being uber bored from their 7 hour break since we have no Lit class. My head ached once again for solving Business Math problems in our laboratory class. And lastly, I got to pass my phenomenological paper for my Philosophy class. That was the end of my day. Nothing really special. I guess the only thing that kept me err...happy was listening to With You by Chris Brown. Lol. But still, I can't get over about not coming to my Lit class. I missed a lot. Boo. Oh btw, this was the day that the La Sallian community showed their support to Jun Lozada, a person who knows a lot about the ZTE Broadband deal. So there was this vigil (if that's what they call it, I forgot) outside Benilde and there were a lot of people with their candles with them. I didn't know my way out when my dad called me and told me they were already there. So I went out to the side gate. Lol. Yeah, I think that's what you can literally call it because it's really at the side.

And lastly, today. Friday went really good. I think only Monday and Friday were the days that went well, the start and the end of my week. We had a photo shoot in Plaza Villarosa because Paul and Kevin brought their DSLR cameras with them. I also brought my Nikon coolpix digicam but of course, we used the DSLR cameras more. I finally got my hands on the Nikon D40x! I really want that camera! Before I was so used to the slim and small digital cameras but now, I'm more used to the big and bulky DSLR camera. I wish I had the money. But anyway, back to my Friday. We (Kevin, Camae, Paul and I) left our blockmates and went to SDA Building with a friend from DLSU. While we were on our way up to the 12th floor, I saw Champ of Hale with Bianca King, btw. They went inside the elevator going to the same floor as us. Nagkasabay pa. Haha. I was surprised when I saw Champ 'cause I know he already graduated. I didn't notice Bianca King at first though. This was the real photo shoot. It was really fun and tiring. I never thought taking pictures was really tiring. We shot a lot of pictures since Paul brought his tripod with him. I will post some of the photos here as soon as I get it. We didn't go to our COMSK2x class though. Bad. We didn't even had a chance to study for our Business Math quiz :( But the quiz was okay for me, I guess. BMAT2x was my last class but my day didn't end there. Kevin, CJ and I can't get enough of the photo shoot thingy so we camwhored using the camera's controller. Yana was there too. I also saw Anna, a fellow blogger, and they went to join us. She asked if the camera was mine but then again, it's not. I wish it was. Hehe. After, we (Kevin, CJ and I) decided to shoot a multiple exposure (that's what they call it, I'm not sure) photo in an empty classroom. And after a 12324154 shots, we went home.

My Friday would have gone well but I still consider my week bad. Something's just making me feel bad about it. Probably about what happened in my Tuesday. I was really pissed off, you know. I really really was. Gah. What a lucky way to start off the Chinese New Year. :( I had my hair cut btw, had my side bangs back. My bad week doesn't have to do anything with the hair cut, does it?

:( I hope next week would be fine.

Boink boink boink, back!

Hello! LOL. I'm backkkkkkkkk because my much-awaited break is finally here! Yay for Christmas break! Finals are done and so is the course card distribution. It wasn't much of a curse card day for me because to my relief, I passed all subjects. Although I got a 1.5 and a 1.0(Algeb!), at least, I passed. And my Communication Skills laboratory prof didn't drop me from his class! Yay! I even got a 3.0, hahaha. My 2nd term grades isn't as good as my 1st term but at leasttttt, yeah. Lol.

Hmm. It's December 23 already. Only 2 days before Christmas. Happy Holidays, btw! XD I can't think of anything to write here. Lol. I just blogged for some updates, if you call this an update. Lol.

Hmm.. anyways, I gotta go eat. Then, I'll continue watching "Coffee Prince". It's a koreanovela. Hahaha. :p

Byers. XD

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[edit]
I wanna finish collecting my Starbucks stickers. 8 left! Gah. I'll make sure I have the planner by tomorrow!!! Yay for double stickers.

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I'm loving the Zara hoodie a friend gave me for Christmas. Yay! Pambawas daw sa Christmas wish list. Nyahaha. Tenksyouuu! XD Lol, I remember I didn't have a chance to say thank you when she gave it to me.

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We fetched my brother(Kuya Ian) and his wife(Ate Liza) from the airport. They're from Davao. Dang, we waited for almost 2 hours for them. Lol. I'm so sleepyyy. I got home just now(2:03 am). But anyway.. yay for they're spending Christmas with us! Hehe. And I'm going to continue watching Coffee Prince. Haha.

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I just finished this now. Hehe. At last, I had the time to color it. It's my first time with digital coloring so.. pasensya. Hehe. :) Click to enlarge. :)




Merry Christmas everyone! :D

[/edit]

Boy meets girl.

I didn't go to school today. I'm not feeling well :| My mom woke me up at around 4 in the morning and asked me if I will go to school. I was having second thoughts but my body's really weak to get up. Tinanong ko siya kung anong mas okay, sabi niya, wag na lang daw ako pumasok. Okay na lang rin, kasi wala naman kaming gagawin ngayon, puro discussions lang. Hmm, I'm really tired. 2 weeks na lang, term break na namin. Konting tiis na lang.

I have so much to do even if I didn't go to school. Gagawin ko yung report namin para bukas sa Sociology at magreresearch para sa Economics report na project na rin namin. Ok na rin 'to, at least hindi ako mas-stress masyado. Marami pang oras para gawin kaya I should really start now.

Boy meets girl nga pala title ng post kong 'to. Why? Wala lang, wala kasi akong magawa at hindi ko pa masyadong feel mag-start agad na mag-research kaya inaliw ko ang sarili ko sa pagpo-Photoshop. Tinry ko lang kung kaya ko rin gawin dito yung ginawa ko sa Illustrator sa SDA¹ building namin.



Ay, masyado palang maliit yung ginawa ko. *Resizes it* Click niyo na lang para mas malaki. Hehe. Kaya lang medyo lumabo. Toinkkk.

Babae at lalaki ang ginawa ko kaya nung pinagsama ko, ginawa ko na lang Boy meets girl. Wala akong ibang maisip na title e. Hehe. Ok naman siya, pangit lang yata yung buhok nung girl. Kung anu-ano pinaggagawa ko e. Di talaga ako magaling sa pag-shadow shadow. I need to learn how to do it better. My blockmate said, "Practice lang yan."

Anyway, maraming nakalagay sa Christmas Wish List ko. Hindi pa nga pala ako naglalagay ng Christmas Wish List ko dito kagaya ng ginawa ko sa Multiply ko. Sobrang dami nun e. So bakit ko nga ba nabanggit 'to? Konektado ba sa Boy meets girl? Oo. Dahil sa #1 sa list. Yun lang. Hehe. At dahil December na rin ngayon kaya ok lang na magkaroon ng Christmas Wish List dba? Lol.

1. Wacom Intuos Tablet
2. Nikon D40/D40x or Canon EOS 400d DSLR.
3. Starbucks 2008 Planner (5 pa lang stickers ko! Huhu.)
4. Hoodie! Matagal ko na gusto netooooo. Gah. Puro window shopping lang kami ng blockmates ko tuwing magpupunta kami ng mall pag break time.
5. Red Ecko shoes. Astig yung design. Nakita niyo na ba 'to?
6. School bag. Kahit may bag ako for school, hindi pa rin siya enough. Kasi gusto ko yung tipong magkakasya lahat. Sawang-sawa na ko kakadala nung file case ko. Wahaha. Tapos tipong magkakasya din dun yung pang-P.E. ko. Para isa lang dala ko: bag lang.
7. Statement and vintage tees.
8. Makapag-ipon! Syempre para mabili yung gusto ko. Eh ang problema, mahal yung gusto kong bilhin(# 1 and 2). Kaya kung mabait kayo, yan na lang gift niyo sakin. LOL. Kapal ng mukha e noh. HAHA.
9. Magkaroon ng 3.0 up grades sa finals.
10. Own domain. Sobrang dati ko pa 'tong gusto. Mga 2 years ago pa. Wala, tinamad lang ako. Pero ngayon gusto ko na ulit. Toinks.

Hmm. 10 lang nilagay ko dito. Pero sa multiply ko, 25 ang nandun. Sobrang dami. Wala namang masama dba. XD

Btw, Happy Birthday to Dan Hellbound! Lol, binati kita for the 4th time. :))

Sige, bai bai.

¹ School of Design and Arts. Our multimedia lab has Mac Pro, a Wacom Intuos tablet, and anything a Multimedia Arts student would need. We love it there!

Bubbly.

WARNING: Random post. Tagalog. Wala, gusto ko lang magkwento. LOL.

Bubbly? Bakit nga ba bubbly ang title neto? Wala lang, LSS kasi ako sa song na yan ngayon. Ganda eh. Bubbly by Colbie Calait. Narealize ko paiba-iba talaga ang taste ko sa music. Merong mas nangingibabaw sa ibang genre at a certain point pero gusto ko pa rin yung ibang genres. Ay, labo. Haha.

Hindi pala dapat Bubbly ang title ng post kong 'to. Dapat "headache" or "bugbok na utak ko". Wala lang. Kagabi kasi bugbog na bugbog utak ko. Siguro buong araw akong nakatutok sa computer at himala, sinipag akong gawin ang website na pinapagawa sa 'kin nila kuya. Yey for me! First time kong gumawa ng website na .com. Yung tipong ako talaga yung administrator. Grr. So I'm still figuring out how things work. It's still under construction. Pero grabe, pag-figure out ko na nga lang pano gawing mail.domain.com yung Webmail instead dun sa binigay na domain.com:2095 (dba ganyan?), namroblema na ko. Eh syempre baka malimutan nila yung number sa dulo. Hehe. Pero buti na lang nagawa ko rin! domain.com/mail nga lang pero ayos na yun. Masaya na 'ko dun. Thanks nga pala kay Christian sa pagtulong rin sa 'kin. Bugbog rin pala ang kamay ko kaka-type. Linalagay ko kasi mga contacts sa address book ng email nila. At may email rin akong bago under sa domain name na yun, lol. Kung may bayad lang sana ako dito dba, eh wala e. Free food, board & lodging, education and other stuffs lang naman. That's basically my life. So ok na lang rin.

Inayos ko rin yung gallery ng konti. Ganun pala yung gamit ng Fantastico noh? Hahaha. Ngayon ko lang na-gets. Di ko alam anong use nyan dati eh. LOL. Newb! to think na nagddesign ako ng websites for almost 5 years na rin. My gally! I know I still have a lot to learn. GO MMA! Hehehe. Sabi ko rin, 7pm ang cut-off time ko sa work na yan. Eh ayoko tumigil hangga't hindi ko naaayos yung hindi pa naayos. Ayun, umabot ako ng mga 10pm. May break pa yun kasi kumain, syempre. LOL. At dahil dyan...

Hindi ko nagawa ang COMSK1x(Communication Skills 1) homework namin na nakakabugbog rin ng utak. Grabe. Tungkol sa Thesis Statement yun. Na-miscarriage pa kasi yung orig. prof namin so na-replace sya. And the replacement will be our prof until the end of the term. Great. Pahirap. Pero ayos lang rin, kasi mas may natututunan kami sa kanya. Kung sana nagawa ko yun nung Friday or Saturday. Hay eto nanaman ako. :| Gusto ko na 'tong baguhin! Nakakainis.

So pumasok ako, late ng mga 10minutes. Grr. Late nanaman ako nagising. Buti na lang evaluation ng teachers. Eh mahaba yun, so na-consume ng pageevaluate namin yung isang oras na period sa karamihan ng subjects. Natatakot ako kasi wala akong HW sa COMSK1x. LOL. Buti na lang may consideration yung prof. Ngayon lang daw yun. Bait nun sa 'min(medyo). Haha. Nung una 2:30pm daw ang deadline. Tapos nagbigay nung isa pang HW due on Wednesday(I'll make sure na nagawa ko na 'to beforehand lol) at take home quiz due on Friday. Ang galeennng. Ngayon lang kami nakapag-take home quiz. HAHA. After nun, nagbago isip nya, minove nya yung deadline ng HW namin ng 4:00. Ang saya saya. Eh dapat di na kami gagawa. Mga kasama ko kasi eh. Pero sa isip ko, sayang naman yung binigay na extension ni Ms. kung di ko gagawin. Sayang ang grade!!! So ginawa ko. Nagpunta kami ng isaw-an tapos after pumasok kami sa internet shop malapit dun. Tinulungan rin ako ng blockmate ko. Tapos napass ko! Ewan ko kung tama pinaglalagay ko dun. Basta nagawa ko. LOL.

Wala lang. :))

Hmm, para sa 'kin, masaya sa school. Ewan ko, basta lagi akong masaya pag nasa school. Bakit ba ganun? Kayo ba? Hehe.

Wala lang ulit. LOL. Ganda ng post ko no. Haha.
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RENZ! Pano na yung blogger commenting code? LOL. =p

Hindi ako kinikilig, natatawa ako.

Okay so our music video for our project in Filipino is already released on YouTube. Yak, parang premiere? Haha. But anyway, I got to watch it again and... HINDI TALAGA AKO KINIKILIG, NATATAWA AKOOOO. Hahaha. I'm not good in acting so natatawa ako sa acting ko. LOL. Even if my blockmates got kilig while watching the video in class and even if they wanted to watch it over and over again.. well, not me. :)) Hahaha. But at least, I leveled up in acting. Just one level. Haha. :p

Anyway, if I haven't told the story of the video yet..

The song is "Only reminds me of you" translated into Tagalog so the title is "Ikaw pa rin ang naaalala". The story is basically about mag-boypren/gelpren na sobrang opposites. Yung guy parang gago and loko-loko and the girl is the goody-goody type. So the video starts off with a guy writing.. "This is the story of my bestfriend...*put name here*" :p Then the girl in the video is reminiscing about their happy moments together. Naglalakad-lakad sya, emo-emo. Ganun. Then eventually, the guy found another girl. Nakita nung girl. Syempre, hurt sya. Emoemo, cry cry sa cr. Her bestfriend saw her crying so nalungkot yung bestfriend nya. Then nag-end yung video na bumalik dun sa first scene.. the bestfriend wrote, "This is the story of my bestfriend...*put name here*" right? But eventually ended up crossing out the bestfriend word and wrote love instead. Tapos may newspaper sa pinakadulo ng video saying, "College girl commits suicide in university bathroom".

KAMONNNNNNNNNNNN. Hahaha. Na-gets ba yung concept? Parang di ko na-explain ng mabuti. Di ako magaling magkwento e. Haha.

Anyway, the video was conceptualized by my blockmate. It wasn't the original concept but it's somehow close to it. We revised the original one because we were out of time. We shot the whole video last Monday and the deadline for the project was on Wednesday that same week. Haha. But the video was, let's say.. a blockbuster? LOL. Our Filipino prof said, "Alam nyo class natutuwa ako sa mga projects nyo. Pero hindi lang yun, nagugulat rin ako. Hahaha." :)) LOL. Then my blockmates were saying, "Nice one, Cha." "Yes naman!". One of blockmates was even teary-eyed kasi kinikilig raw sya. Hahaha. Parang nagkagulo sa classroom nung pinalabas yung video. :)) Pero ako habang pinapalabas yun, parang gusto ko nang matunaw at maglaho sa room that very moment. Hahaha. Nagtatago ako sa likod ng blockmate ko habang pinapalabas yun. Hiyang-hiya akoooo. Hahaha. Pero at the same time natatawa. LABO. Haha. Tapos nagagalit sila dun sa blockmate ko na 'other girl' sa video. Hahaha.

Grabe, siguro pag iba yung gumanap nun, maiiyak iyak ako at kinikilig habang pinapanood yung video. Pero hindi ehhh. Hahaha. Tae talagaaaaaaaaaaa. Anyway, I'm still thinking if I'll put the link here. :)) :p

[edit]
Well, papel! Here's the link:
KLIK TO GO TO YOOCHOOB!
I'm guessing you guys didn't notice the link. It has been up for like... days already. Hehe. Lots of peole got to watch it already kaya... ayos na lang rin. My family got to watch it, damnit. Di ko ni-planong ipakita sakanila pero accidentally... mahabang story. Haha.
*COVERS FACE!*
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