Okay so it's been almost one week since I updated my blog. WTH I can't believe it's already May 1! OHGOSH. May 21 pasok na namin!!! BAH. I should finish the things I need to do and want, as well. :p I need to go to school on days 14-17, whenever during that week for course adjustment. I don't wanna be underload! Grr. I want to watch DVDs which I haven't been able to buy yet and read books like Twilight. Yeaaa. I still have like 91 days to read all three books before the last book comes. Hahaha. I saw the movie behind the scenes and some fan-made trailers and it's all awesome. I'm getting excited though I haven't read the book yet. I mean, it's a romantic vampire story, who wouldn't want that? Everyone is like in love with Edward and Bella. Hahaha. Today's my brother's girlfriend birthday and yesterday we bought gifts for her. So I suggested my brother to give her a book. We were supposed to buy the new Nicholas Sparks book since she said she'll buy it, might as well give her the book. But it wasn't available in that National Bookstore branch. So we bought another book which is, Twilight. Wah, if I get my pay I'd surely splurge my money on books but still save something for erm, things I need in school later on.
Last week, I was having a hard time. It wasn't my week last week, I was just really sad. No, actually I wasn't. I was moody! Sobrang nakakainis kasi sobra yung mood swings. One minute I'm happy, then another I'm sad. I hated it. It got to the point where I cannot feel anything anymore. I cried because of that. I'd rather feel anything, even pain, than not feeling anything at all. I felt dead. But the next day which is Monday, I had this dream. Imma paste this from my Multiply.
I woke up earlier than what I expected, I thought it was already 11 am, but I looked at the clock and it was still quarter to 9am. So I turned on the PC, checked my myspace, friendster, facebook, multiply, mail and blog hopped. I DLed songs and..
My mom, someone else I don't know who and I were talking and suddenly, I couldn't speak. I tried so hard to speak but I couldn't. Tapos na-realize ko may nakabara sa throat ko so tinanggal ko. That was really weird. When I did, I started to bleed. Nagsusuka na ako ng dugo. Then I didn't know what to do. And my nose also started to bleed. I was helpless. I asked God for help, I prayed really hard. And I was thinking if I should go to the hospital already or what, but I thought it would end soon. But it didn't. All I can see is red blood. I thought I was dying! I called my friends using my phone and we went to see each other. I texted Jesy, she told me to go to FEU-NRMF then find her there. I said, "it's too late."
Then I woke up.
It's weird cos I rarely experience dreams in my sleep. When I woke up, I can still remember the feeling of not being able to speak. But I thank God that it was all just a dream. I was freaked out! I was really freaked out. It got me thinking through out the day even the meaning of it. I searched for a dream dictionary online since I don't know where our old dream dictionary is.
Blood
To see blood in your dream, represents life, love, and passion as well as disappointments. If you see the word "blood" written in your dream, then it may refer to some situation in your life that is permanent and cannot be changed.
To dream that you are bleeding or losing blood, signifies that you are suffering from exhaustion or that you are feeling emotionally drained. It may also denote bitter confrontations between you and your friends. Your past actions has come back to haunt you.
Throat
It shows considerable powers of imagination and signifies a successful venture.
Nose
Instinctive knowledge. It reflects great powers of imagination and creativity, but also difficult relations with a partner.
Red
This is an indication of great passion and sensitivity in your emotional relationships.
Help
To dream that you are calling or signaling for help, suggests that you are feeling lost, overwhelmed, and/or inadequate.
Helpless
To dream that you are or feel helpless, suggests that you are experiencing difficulties in confronting a situation or relationship. You feel that you are unable to take charge of yourself.
Silence
To dream that you are silent, indicates an inability to express yourself. You may feel inhibited in voicing your opinion and how you really feel.
So that's it. Maybe that's what I'm feeling for the past week that I couldn't exactly explain what. What my dream meant was actually true in my reality.
So yeah, but I'm better now compared last week. Way way better. Going out helped a lot.
Speaking of going out, mom, dad, my brother and his girlfriend went to a Jap restaurant along Panay Avenue to eat last Tuesday. There, we talked about the past, how we got here, why we went here, and everything back then.
So now I know the real reason why we moved here to Manila from Cotabato.
I was born in Cotabato City but I am in Manila for like 11 years already. Almost half my life so basically, I grew up in Manila. Quezon City, specifically. I was 6 when we moved here. Before, I thought the reason why we moved here is bcos of my brothers who then has a band. They had an album and their song became a hit. So the recording company, which is Polycosmic Records then but Universal Records now, said they should come to Manila already. So we did. And they did TV guestings and all that. I was with them all the way. It was such a challenge moving here cos when we moved, we had no house at all! And our furnitures and all are still in the ship. LOL. That was around April 1999, a month after I graduated kindergarten.
Back in Cotabato, business was really good. Meron kaming video games store(all over Cotabato), movie rentals(back when vhs tapes and laser discs were very popular haha) store and an all-in-one bar, restaurant, club, videoke named after my name. LOL. Business was really doing well. Kami yung unang may ganun dun. Hindi pa tapos yung construction, pina-open na. Lots of artists went there like Manilyn Reynes, UMD Dancers, Streetboys, Yano, etc etc etc. I can't remember though cos I was still young. Nung in-open yun, sobrang dami raw ng tao. Naubusan pa ng food and beer. LOL. Tapos may mga G.R.O. pa daw, hahahaha! And they held contests there like dance contests, costume contest every Halloween and all that. Pinauso din dun yung Ladies Night which is every Wednesday, Ballroom night, and etcetera. Yung restaurant, sobrang okay yung food. I remember nakaakyat pa ako sa kitchen. Yung videoke, may 5 private videoke rooms and a big videoke room outside it. The 5 videoke rooms were all named after our Zodiac Signs: Aquarius, Capricorn, Gemini, Taurus, and Libra. Lahat yun nasa isang building. It's a big lot cos from what I remember, it's only one floor. Tumugtog din dun mga kuya ko. Then dad told us na nabilib yung manager ng isang band na nakasabay nila kuya and sinabi niya, "Grabe, malayo mararating nito." Tapos masayang-masaya sila after kasi may sweldo sila, 50 pesos! Pero mind you, malaki na yun nung time na yun.
Though business was really good, my parents had been receiving death threats even before the bar was opened. Three all in all. Two before the bar was opened, and another one when it was already opened.. I guess. Basta tatlo. They didn't mind it. Hindi sila nagbigay ng kung anong money kahit na pinagbantaan na ng kidnap and all those shits. 50k ang hinihingi nun. To think, malaki na yung ganung amount dati dba? The military said na wag magbigay. Yeah, we had military escorts. I was like, whoa! "Parang secret service, haha.". They showed the first two letter threats to the military and so ayun. Kinekwento ng mom ko na looking back, parang nakakahiya daw na may sumusunod sa'yo na military kahit san magpunta. Kahit mag-grocery lang or what. Hindi ko matandaan yun, seriously. Of course, bata pa ako.
Dun pa nabaril yung asawa nung auntie ko, kapatid ng mom ko. He was just outside then a drive-by happened. I still remember that! I was in the hallway, just near outside, talking to my brother and mom. Then we heard the gun shots. Then bam! Ayun. Grabe yun. Dun na kami natulog. Sa videoke lounge. To think that all of us were there! My cousins, my brothers, everyone. Grabe yun.
I don't know when the third death threat came, before or after the incident, but it involves us, the children. Sabi dun, alam kung saan kami nag-aaral and all that. E natakot na si mommy, so sinabi niya kay dad na umalis na kami dun. E sakto, okay ang band nila kuya, may album tapos sakto pinapapunta sila dito sa Manila. So ayun, we've been here ever since. Hindi kami bumalik dun for like I don't know how many years. Mga year 2005 yata nung bumalik kami.
But even though, those were the good times. Mga Christmas Party ng clan nun, hindi ko naabutan talaga. Tapos yung bawat branch ng movie rental and video games shop namin may presentation. That was fun. I can still remember that. Sumayaw kami nun e. Kaming magpipinsan, younger ones. I was like 3 or 4 that time. Haha!
But hands down to my parents that they were able to handle all that. Nung lumipat kami dito, dala-dala nila aside from us, their children, are my four cousins(included din sa band) and my uncle, my mom's youngest brother. Alala ko nagpupunta kami ng ABS-CBN nun at kung saan-saan. Mall tours, bars and all. Those days when bars were really really popular. So bata pa lang ako, mahilig na ako magpuyat. Haha. Naalala ko dun sila sa Art's Venue sa Taft tumutugtog dati. Karamihan ng big bands that time, andun. And they were the youngest of all. Sobrang hanga ako sa mga kuya ko e. They have the talent. They have the gadgets every band would want to have. And with just one incident and should I say, person, BAM! Nasira lahat. Banda, pati na rin pagsasamahan ng fam, ALMOST. At least hindi totally. But we can't do anything about that anymore. Those were the past. It was just fun reliving all those. And I bet we learned a lot from that, all of us.
Thank God, walang nangyaring kahit ano sa 'min.
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BTW. Do you know about the Biggest Online Dance Battle in YouTube? Holymoleeyyy, ACDC(Adam/Chu Dance Crew) PWNED Miley&Mandy BIGTIME. WTFWTF ACDC's awesomeee! They got JABBAWOCKEEZZZ!!! And Brianna Evigan, Rob Hoffman, LL, Amanda Bynes, Britanny Snow, Chris Scott, Chris Brown babyyyy! WTH. Though M&M got Channing Tatum, Crumbs, and other good dancers, FO SHOOO M&M GOT PWNED! :)) If you don't know what this is, watch this. BUT FIRST, watch the video that started it all. And the video response which got 3 million views. WATCH. THE BIGGEST ONLINE DANCE BATTLE IN YOUTUBE HISTORY. They'll rock your socks man! Haha. Can't wait what M&M Cru will come up with.
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