Diskarte lang.

Don't worry bro, even before I decided to go and push through with this, I know exactly what I'm doing and where I'm going.

We were on our way home, actually we were almost near home when my brother asked me about studies and all. If I'm learning something and such. Of course I said yes, which is the truth. He asked if I will be able to use everything I'm learning when I step into the real world and I said, "probably not all." I've heard that from my eldest brother then that I won't get to use everything I'll learn in school 'cos yeah most of the other things, we do learn by ourselves and like they say, "diskarte lang."

Then he said, "Tinuturuan ka ba nila pano kumita ng pera?" and I said, "Hindi." Diskarte na natin yun after we graduate e, di ba? He said, "Ako, graduate ako ng UP pero ano nakuha ko dun? Wala din. Dba? 6 years ako nag-aral. Kung alam ko lang na dito ako mapupunta sa business na 'to(which is a family business, sound system) edi sana ini-spend ko na lang yung 6 years kong yun para pag-aralan yung mga pinag-aaralan ko pa lang ngayon. If ever, 10 years na sana ako nags-soundsystem/set-up."

And he asked me, "Ikaw ba, kunwari sa December gagraduate ka na, after nun ano balak mong gawin?" And I couldn't answer him yet. He asked, "Di ba less than 2 years, graduate ka na. Sa ilang taon na inaral mo, pag grumaduate ka na pano mo mababayaran yung pinagpaaral sa'yo pag nagkatrabaho ka na?" Again, I couldn't answer 'cause I was thinking of the best way to answer him. He again asked, "After niyan ano bang trabaho ang gagawin mo?" Then finally I said, "Usually kasi pag samin graduate ka, napupunta ka sa mga advertising, or magiging graphic artist or web designer ng isang company." He asked, "Yung mga prof mo ba ganun lang din ginagawa nila? Magkano ang bayad sa ganun?" These are not all the exact words but the essence is there. And he asked a question or two until we finally reached the gate of our house. The conversation ended there.

You see, wanting to study in CSB and take up Multimedia Arts was not just something I decided impulsively or like in a spur of the moment. Just because I wanted it, I immediately told them that 'this is what I want... blah blah'. No. I was so torn because one, CSB is so very far from where I live. Second, the tuition is expensive added to that is the tri-semestral curriculum of the college. Third, my parents won't allow me to commute and so my brothers will be the one who will drive me to and fro school. Fourth, they wanted me in UST because it's nearer. I considered all these and everything else. What they would feel, what I would feel, the risks I'm going to take and of rejection and everything elseeee. I thought through everything before I went and said it to them. I was so emotional during that time. I thought things through because I wanted so badly to take up MMA and if they won't allow me to, I thought of things that would convince them. And if they won't allow me still, then okay. I'll stop. But fortunately, after I said it to my brothers then they said it to mom&dad, they thought things through too. I waited patiently and prayed to God that they'd finally come to their decision and realize that this is what I want and I know what I want.

My brothers and I are very different when it comes to the courses they took up in college. My two brothers took up Business Management and the other one took up BA History. They took it because well, Bus.Mgnt. since we have a family business and History, because my brother was late on enrollment and the course he wanted to take which was Music was I think in quota so he had no choice but to choose those that are non-quota. I, on the other hand, always knew that this was what I always wanted to do. And I see myself doing this, being a multimedia artist. I never pictured myself being in the family business and such. That's why I was so bummed when my dad told me to pick a course in UST, when I was in Academic Placement, that would be in line to our business. I unwillingly chose Commerce, which I got in to, and another was I.T., which I never really got the chance to see if I ever got in. I remember last year when my brother once said while we were eating, "Grabe si Cha 'tol no, tayo basta maka-graduate lang, siya alam niya talaga gusto niya." And I was proud of myself for knowing that I do know what I want to do.

I may not know what I would exactly do after I graduate but I know that it's related to anything multimedia.

Our society would always belittle those courses which is related to the arts department. Let's face it, they always do. And I feel that whenever my relatives or even family friends ask me what my course is and what I would do after. They'd just go, "Ahh." I know Multimedia Arts is new to the country and only few people know about this. But without us(I'm saying multimedia artists included are photographers, filmmakers, graphic artists, webdesigners, animators, illustrators, etc.), what would companies do? Who will advertise their product? How will they? Who would do commercials? Who would do movies? Who would take their photos and capture videos on film? Would there be a Pixar? Would there even be media? No, I don't think so. And they say you won't go anywhere when you're an artist unless you're a celebrity. I know some people belittle art courses, they think it's easy but in fact, it's not. We just love what we do that's why it doesn't look so hard. Well at least, for me. But then again, who cares if you don't get so rich? You love what you do, it makes you happy and it creates satisfaction to you, the end. Some people, though rich are not happy with their lives. What would I rather choose? I'd choose to live the life I'm happy in and the life I always imagined myself to be in. I won't ever choose a life, even a rich life, just because it was unwillingly forced into me.

Sure, I'm not getting a PhD or not a Biology, Chemistry, Law, or Accounting student but I've always wanted to prove to them that this isn't easy as it looks. It's hard to think of a good concept or make a realistic photo manipulation or do plates. I always wanted to prove to them that I can go somewhere and I will be successful someday. That I will be someone someday.

And I believe I can be.