Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Self fail.

I knew that there were no guarantees. No way of knowing what came next for me, or him, or anybody. Some things don’t last forever, but some things do. Like a good song, or a good book, or a good memory you can take out and unfold in your darkest times, pressing down the corners and peering in close, hoping you still recognize the person you see there.
-Sarah Dessen
Screwing up for the past 2 weeks of school. Damn it. I didn't start my year right. Everything's just... a failure.

I'm disappointed with myself.

I'm at this point where I'm bored, lazy and would just want to sleep and stay at home all day. With no priorities, deadlines, and other stuff needed to be done.

I want to go on and make myself better but I don't know, I just screw it up. My sleeping habit is so messed up, my school performance is fcuked up. As in big time. Sure I mean, it's fine. But it's just that I'm too lazy doing the things I need to do that I end up doing things I want to do.

I don't like disappointing myself. It makes me feel frustrated. Like I know I can do something about it, but whenever I try to, I fail with it. And it makes me a lot more frustrated.

Things are not better. Well, lifestyle-wise and school-wise.

I am happy. But I want to be happy in a sense that it makes me a better person. But it doesn't. So I may just THINK I am happy, but I'm really not? I don't know. I'm too 'relaxed' these days.

I'm so messed up. This isn't just me. :(

I'm just really really really disappointed with myself. And I have no one to talk about it. :( Makes me all the more disappointed. And sad :(

Forget past mistakes. Forget failures. Forget about everything except what you’re going to do now - and do it.
— William Durant
Never let success go to your head and never let failure go to your heart.
Success is going from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.
Winston Churchill
Ninety-nine percent of all failures come from people who have a habit of making excuses.
George Washington Carver
We’ve all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard damn poets urging us to seize the day. Still sometimes, we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today’s possibility under tomorrow’s rug until we can’t anymore. Until we finally understand for ourselves what Benjamin Franklin really meant. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beat the hell out of never trying.
Grey’s Anatomy

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