This began when I was in Grade 6(or at least I noticed this since Grade 6). I was always misunderstood, everything I do and say. Before, people around me always tease me in which for them was just a joke, but for me it's not anymore. (e.g., "Di ka kasi marunong mag-english e! (You don't know how to speak english) ; *I let them see something I made like a painting* and say, Ikaw ba nag-drawing nyan? Parang hindi ikaw. (Did you draw that one? It's like it's not you who drew that.) But then somewhere along the line after a lot of thinking, I guess I accepted that as a compliment.) They throw hurtful words that would bring me down that would push down my confidence in times I really needed it. It's like they point out that I can't do this and that. It's like they don't believe in me. So, I never got to believe in myself. I never got to express what I feel. I never got to speak out. Until.. music, writing and painting came along. Through music, I get to loosen up and calm down. Music soothes my soul. Music expresses what I feel inside. Though music has always been there, I grew up with musical-influenced people around me but I guess I was oblivious to the magic of it. I've said awhile ago that, I never got the chance to speak out or express what I feel. Writing and painting gave me that chance. I was able to express something inside of me that I've been wanting to get out of my chest. It was a pain for me to keep what I feel inside to myself because it worries me that no one would understand. Until I stepped foot to this school and met wonderful friends. Friends that I've been longing to find. They were the best set of friends I ever had. They helped me in a lot of ways. They listened, they helped me express myself, helped me boost more confidence inside me. They helped me come out of my shell. They were the ones who saw me when I was invisible. I've been so thankful for they came into my life. Now, I'm a much better and stronger person than before. I've known myself better and found who I am(at least. but still have some questions running in through my mind). Many things changed along the years, my points of view changed, I began to think positive and think big. I now know how to hold on, when to hold on and when to let go. My faith in God strengthened aand I became so thankful and appreciative of my family. I now realize how lucky I am to have my family.

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( ) - open and close parentheses means it wasn't included on my speech. I just added them while typing this post.

Verbatim from the book Tuesdays with Morrie, "All parents damage their children." I've been a lot more optimistic with life. I never realized that until my friend/seatmate back in sophomore year told me that I am. =) I've realized that she was right. Among all the other people or friends during a hectic week/hell week of exams and deadlines to meet, I've remained optimistic and say, "After this, it's all over. Okay na tayo. We can do this." And someone would second the motion. I've known myself a lot better, yes. I've known a lot of what I can do.. I've known my strengths and weaknesses. I've known a lot of me. I've known a lot of things about me that other people don't. I have a lot of people to thank for making me a lot stronger and put me where I am today and where will I be in the future. My family, of course. They've hurt me in a good way, I guess. They've made me alot stronger. They have damaged me yet I still got to put myself back when I was shattered into pieces. I have hacked to hold on and move on. My friends, who were really there to listen to me when I could not find anyone who will really listen to what will I say. They just listen. It makes me feel a lot better. You! Co-bloggers. Online friends. You've been really a part of me. =) Though personally, we haven't met. We don't really know each other well(because we only know each other through these blogs). You've changed and been really a part of my life. Especially those real friends I found through the online world. =) And lastly, God. I would never ever forget to thank Him. He was there when I needed Him. I speak, He listens. He just makes me feel a lot better. Whenever I pray at night for Him to guide me for tomorrow and the coming days, the next day, it just makes me feel better. Wala lang, parang ang confident ko na kaya kong gawin 'tong bagay na 'to. Diba nga sabi dun sa Bible, when you ask, you believe. Because if you believe, matutupad yun. Yebahh. Hehe. =)

Thanks a lot guys, for listening and reading my posts -- sensible or not. Before I was saying that, "I hope I would find a person who would see right through me."