I've lost myself.

I know, after that incident 2 years ago, I have lost myself. It's kinda saddening but it's true. But the good part of it is that I learned through the process. I'm still picking up the remaining missing pieces. I'm just having a hard time finding it.

I don't know if I have changed for the better or bad. Well I guess it's for the better. But there are some things in me right now that's very different from the "me" before.

Nasasabaw nako. When people talk to me with sense, I just can't take them seriously. Is that a problem? Well for me, it is. I hate it. I don't know what to say to them. Especially when they talk to me in straight english. :)) What the hell. Before, I can talk about anything. And can write anything that's been going on in my mind. But now, I can't. Or maybe I'm just taking myself back.

And I keep laughing. Is that bad? Well no, it isn't. Laughing is good. Well at least not by myself. :p I'd look crazy. Haha.

I can't explain or express myself properly. I can't even talk about my emotions. I so keep it to myself. I know it's a bad thing to do. Mahirap yun dba. Baka maloka ako. Haha.

But anyway, it's been a long time since I blogged. And I can tell that blogging helped me a lot. In my writing skills, in telling my stories, in telling what I think and what I feel, in expressing my thoughts and opinions.

Mahirap din pala pag ikaw lang no. It's better to blog this way. I don't wanna blog like this in my multiply. Cause I know the people viewing my site/blog. And it's hard for me to open up. It's better to be left unknown and anonymous. I can handle it better. Hehe.

So... that's it. I hope I can put the pieces back together. And hopefully, someday, will be able to complete the puzzle of my life. It would take a lot of years, even until the day I die. But what I need right now is the "me" that has been lost along the way. It's been pretty rough and difficult.. but I can handle it.

God's with me. He's there to strengthen me.


I hope it will be a wonderful day tomorrow. I have some things boggling in my mind. And what the hell.. the feeling.. pinipigilan. I don't wanna feel it. At least, i don't want to feel it first. I hate to be broken. Nuff with this, I have much to do tomorrow for school.