You lost, but I made you win.

I am in a state of confusion.

What's there to be confused about anyway?
There's so much to do and this is what I think about.
I bet you do not even care.

It's not me.
No, it's not me.

I never thought it would feel this way.
My heart felt pain awhile ago.
And now I hate you for making me feel that pain.
It's not me, no, it's not me.

I thought this wasn't serious.
I'm not ready for this.

I don't want to feel this anymore.
I don't want to feel this great feeling anymore.

It will only hurt me if it becomes deeper. And happier.
Don't scar yourself into my heart.
I'm not yet ready to be hurt in this kind of thing.
After two long years...
Yes, I am still afraid.

Even happiness, I'm afraid to embrace.
How stupid right?

'Cause it hurt me bad. Really bad.
It had some kind of a trauma on me.
It left a deep scar.
It left paranoia.

I just don't think you're worth it yet.
You don't know me that much yet and you said that.
That ruined it all.
Nice move.

You lost the game.
But I made you win again.
Stupid me.
That's how it is, always.

But then again,
Who are you anyway?
After all, we're just friends for # months.
# months.
# months.
Again.
# months.
Just like last time.

# months. # years. # months.
Great. Same old.

Will this be another lonely phase?
I hope not.
This can't be.
It shouldn't be.
I have a lot of things to mind other than this.

I'm wasting my time.