Realizations at 4am

Realized there’s definitely a difference between what you really want and what you plan. Not like what I plan isn’t what I want. It’s what I want but not as much as what I really want. It’s more of like, I want this coz this is where I should be at this certain point of my life. This is what I should already be. Something like that.

I mean, I guess both would make me happy either way. But later on I’d probably ask myself, “What if?” What if I took a chance on what I really want? Cos then eventually after going after it, it’s either things would turn out differently and better, or things would go exactly as I envisioned it to be and way even better.

I know deep down it’s worth it. But I’m just probably scared if I am worth all of it. And all the things and moments I’ll miss, and what will happen to the people I care about the most if I go for it. Mostly that. Just partly of what will happen to me.
Is this really calling for me?

If it seems slow in coming, wait. It’s on its way. It will come right on time.
-Habbakuk 2:3, The Message 

You hold my world

You hold my world in Your hands and I am amazed by Your love, I amazed that You love me. You hold my world in Your hands, I’m not afraid my world is safe in Your hands. (You Hold My World)

Wherever You will take me Lord. Time and again Your plans have been perfect. I don’t wanna rely on my own choices anymore just because it’s what I want but I want Your will to be done because I know it’s perfectly what I need.

I may not understand nor I may not exactly know the answers yet.. But as with every season, it will be revealed to me. And I trust my life with You more than anything.

By that time I will be ready.. Because You’ve been preparing me all this time. You have always put dreams in my heart. And when that time comes, I will understand.

I will always be surprised and amazed by the wonderful things You have been doing and unfolding in front of my eyes.

Committing myself and my life to You had been very scary at first.. But it’s the best thing I ever did. And if I could do it all over again, I’d still choose the same.

Thank You Lord for Your love and grace. Thank You Lord because You never gave up reaching out to me when I was lost.. Thank You for never giving up on me. Else I would’ve given up on myself and I won’t get to know about You and Your wondrous love. <3

Blog, blogger, bloggest

I'm thinking where I should really blog.

I know my Funkylove Tumblr is where I reblog posts.

But um.. I have a personal tumblr blog and I have this one. So where do I blog? Here or Tumblr? Or Wordpress? Lol. Or should I just leave this one? Why did I even leave Blogger? Bandwagon, meh. I was thinking of blogging between here or Wordpress. But then I realized, what's my personal Tumblr blog for? I have too many, not cool. Maybe Tumblr is for random micro-blogging thoughts. And then here for um.. blogs. What.

Okay maybe I'm blogging here for real. But I want to change my URL. Charleneisgoingplaces.blogspot.com, same as my Tumblr one? Doh. But but but, I can't help but install Wordpress when I get a domain so I might start blogging when that happens. Hahaha, goodness! I will make up my mind later. For now, I will finish the 1st episode of Vampire Diaries season 3. (Dangg Stefan what happened to you! Pshh) And also finish the video for our booth on our Annual Prayer Night on Saturday. I just realized today, it's All Time Low's concert in 3 days. I kind of forgot about it lol!

Decoding Sunshine

So after 7 months, hello blogspot! Decided to change the layout colors and make it look clean. And another thing I'm deciding on is whether I should change my URL or not. I've had this candlelight-chaos since this blog started in 2005. So I'm thinking if I should let it go and change it after 6 long years. I've thought of 9 different names but I came down to the title of this post-- Decoding Sunshine. It was originally just Coding without the De-. There was savedbysunshine and savingsummer, too. I thought they were pretty nice and there's a story behind all the names.

Decoding Sunshine is the result of all the other 8 names. I've thought about decode/code since I like coding websites. Err.. I guess. Dahah. Saving summer is referring to that summer of 2009 when my life changed so much. So it's like saved by sunshine or saved by the light, you know get it? Lol. But it's rather too cute or girly? Or I don't know, maybe? Whadyathink?

I've come back because I miss blogging here. I do have blogs in Tumblr, one for inspiration/dump full of reblogs and the other one is a personal blog. Still, I miss this kind of blogging where you receive tons of comments and those times when I blog hop and ask for link exchanges and all that. Wow I just realized I've had this blog since I was 13. This blog contains my whole high school life up to college, man. And no I'm not too emotional about letting the name go but when I thought how I've had it since the beginning of time(lol), I erased the URL when all that's left to do is click the button to change it. That stopped me. But the name is just so... what the heck is candlelight-chaos?? Haha! I don't even know where I got that name. Oh well.

It's 4 am. I just received a text from our multimedia head that she's assigning me for the CREW in San Jose later at 3pm. Buttttt, the practice is at 10am. Huzzah! Aaaand, I'm assigned at 3 and 5pm on Sunday.. and here it goes, to operate the LCD! And I'm like, oh crap! Why must I be the one there during their practice last Thursday? My brother plays at 3 and 5pm too but I have to bug him and wake him up earlier and be in church at lunch since the whole production, technical and multimedia team will have a meeting for the annual prayer night happening on the 24th. So many things I left blank on this blog since last February and so many things happened in 7 months. One moment can change your life, so is 7 months.

Anyway errr, 10am. Greaaaaat. I must sleep.

Summer is almost almost here

Ok not really, but it’s already March this coming week!! I just realized the other night!

Last Monday we were at the office and our team leader told us that the group will be going to Bohol instead of Boracay this Holy Week. They just got back from Bohol, Cebu and a lot of other places last week. And now just this Wednesday they went to Cebu and Bohol once again! Haha!

So why Bohol instead of Boracay? Boracay Holy Week is tooo crowded, for sure! But they went to this island in Bohol called Paradise Island(lol I keep on recalling Paradise in Davao).


And they saw Nemo!!!


So, the only catch is we’re gonna pay for the airfare! But everything, the accommodation and all are all paid for. And he said that Zest Air have these promos. And I just saw yesterday on their Facebook fan page that they have a Pay Day Zale!



I posted that on our Facebook group and also on our Family Clan group, because we will be having a reunion this December in Davao.

This year is awesome! I hope there are no schedule conflicts for the planned Bohol trip. (Cerisse & Kevin, you wanna comeee? Haha, let’s!)

Anyway, my domain is still down. I made a temporary transfer for the other sites I handle. It’s final, I’m switching hosts. Hayy, I wasn’t able to make a backup of the Wordpress sites. :| I guess I’m doing it all over again. But when my site is back up online I’m thinking of holding a contest. Thinking if I’m going to hold it in Tumblr or just my domain or wherever. Haha :) Anyway, I have other things to do so I decided to just finish all of it and stay at home. Later! :D

Valentine's, Friends and More

True friends are those who loves you for who you are regardless of where you came from and who you were. True friends are those who accepts you, supports you and understands you even if they don't exactly understand but because they know you are happy, they won't say anything about it and because they trust you. True friends are those you can share anything and everything to regardless of what it may be. True friends are those who tell you things you need to hear and not what you want to hear.

So my domain blog is down :| I'm going to find another reliable host. My host used to be such a great host until late last year :(

Anyway, I'm going to tell you guys about my Valentine's. I'm single and I had no plans last Monday. But I couldn't have asked for a better way to celebrate my Valentine's. I was waiting for my friend to upload the photos but he still hasn't so I'm going to edit this later.

So that day, my mom woke me up and told me we're going out and I asked, "Where are we going?" and she said, "Anywhere." So we went to Quezon Ave. for business and to get the stuff we have to get. Then, Ate AM texted me and asked me if I'm going with them. I knew about the plan 3 days ago that day I think but I wasn't so sure if I can go 'cos parents were around. So anyway, I asked mom where we're going after and I suggested to go to SM North 'cos it's just near anyway. So yeah, we went and I told them I'm meeting up with friends and a former teacher.

I met up with Ate AM(that's what I've been calling her since high school and she calls me Kuya Cha lol), Mark and our former adviser and History teacher in HS, Ms. Nicolas outside Breadtalk in The Block. As expected, there were a LOT of people in the mall. Couples dating, ladies carrying bouquet of flowers, group dates, group of friends and families. Yep, the place was filled with love!So we went to Bubble Tea and had bubble teas. Haha! We told a lot of stories! How we are, how things are going, and all those catching up things. Ate AM, Mark and I are all Christians now, so we told stories about how it all came about especially Mark and I 'cos Ms. Adah didn't know the exact story. We told about what's happened for the past 2-3 years, how our other friends are and all.

It was a good talk! After, we went to eat dinner! There were a lot of people all over the main mall so we went to the Annex instead. We got a table at Pizza Hut and ordered the Valentine's Feast. It was good for 4 so it was just right for us :D There we continued telling stories! It was like a fellowship as well. I was just so happy that night! My parents waited for me, lol, I didn't expect we would take long. But they ate at Barrio Fiesta for merienda then I forgot where for dinner.

That day was just so good! I couldn't have asked for a better day to celebrate heart's day! Nothing could've taken the GVness away that day from me.

That day I realized that I'm really blessed with the people I have in my life. I realized they're the only people outside my family I can be myself with. And they will accept me no matter what and support me in everything I do. I'm really blessed and I'm so grateful.

Then last Friday, I went out with my friends because one of our friends is here in Manila from Cagayan de Oro city. First time to see all of them again this year! Except for Nancy and Tracy 'cos their lolo passed away. :( And Kevin Mata was there too!! Unexpected! Haha didn't know he was with Eins on the event because he edited the video thingy.

I went to UP first to attend a seminar for IYF leadership training in Korea because I was invited by Mark and Ate AM was there too! :)

And I just had to take this photo below. It was also UP Fair that day but we didn't go since we had other plans.

Anyway, we ate at Giligans, TriNoMa. Eins wasn't there yet, they arrived after we finished eating. We met by National Bookstore and there we took photos! I thought Eins was with a girl but I was wrong! Hahaha! It was Kevin Mata! LMAO! It's because his hair was different!

Then we decided to go somewhere so we went to Ryan's house first to get another ride then went to Kevin Nelson's to drop his things off. Supposedly he's going to switch another ride but Ryan said we'd just use one since we can all fit there, lol. We went to Burby's at Convergys.

I ate a lot haha and we were like, "Didn't we eat dinner?" Haha! I love my friends! And while on the way, we didn't have our car radio on. The guys sang, instead. Hahaha! I took a video of them singing but they didn't know about it until I posted it on Facebook! Hahaha so funny!

Human Car Radio from Charlene Bautista on Vimeo.

You never really know

Funny how you read old blog posts of 3 years ago and 3 years later, everything just changed like bam! Something you were just wishing for, but a year later it's all reality.

Happens all the time to me.

3 years ago I was-- worried about everything; messed up; didn't know what to do; unhappiness more than happiness; and all those things. A year later than that, everything was just all bam! Coming neatly and put into place. A year later than that again, everything was all I ever asked for 3 years ago.

There were things that I planned but didn't push through. There were things I imagined of what I should be doing but it's not what I did and what I'm doing. There were things I never even thought would happen but happened. Things just came and went differently, but I couldn't have been more thankful that it did.

Life surprises me all the time. You never really know where life could/would take you. :]

Whatever your plans are, God always has better plans.

God creates the most unexpected, surprising, and beautiful stories out of our lives. Everything is in His time.