'Cause I've been in places where I couldn't even see the light of day, and then you came. And I'm grateful.. you showed me the way back to my beautiful..
Yes. Maybe God really has a reason why we crossed paths. That person came to my life for a purpose. I came to that person's life for a purpose too. And I know that purpose. When we met, I didn't realize it suddenly.. but days went and I knew, I wanted that person to be happy. And that person is now, happy than ever. And I am glad. But what I never expected or even wanted to like him. He made me happy. Hey you. do you know that? He made me happy without doing anything at all. Just talking to him made me happy. I was happy before he came. But when he did, I was happier than ever!
You know that feeling when you wake up in the morning and you know it's going to be a wonderful day? That feeling when you wake up in the morning and your day starts with a smile? That even when things go bad or from bad to worse and everything is so stressing, you know everything will be alright? That feeling when you see everything in a positive way? That feeling of wanting to wake up every day? That feeling when you get to appreciate life more? That feeling when you have every reason to live and live it to the fullest? That feeling of plain contentment and joy? It feels so good right? Yes, it does. It felt so good. He made me feel all these.
You see, he somehow came at the right time. I was in the verge of being somehow sad at times. That old feeling when I am looking for something I don't even know what. That feeling of filling up my emptiness. That feeling of finding and having something or someone who will find and put the remaining empty pieces of my heart back. That feeling of bringing my heart back to life. I am happy though even if I feel these at times. I am happy because I get to study at my preferred school, with my preferred course.. because I'm happy with my friends and my family.. and because I have a deeper relationship with God. I had every reason to want to live and every reason to be happy. But you know, I still was broken then. I still was picking up the remaining shattered pieces of my heart and fixing it back.
And he came. I didn't expect that he can make me happier. I didn't expect that I could like him more than a friend. I was in denial at first, because I said to myself that I still can't handle it if I fall real hard and get shattered all over again, worse than what happened to me then. I think I couldn't handle it. And besides, I'm not in a rush. But man, I just couldn't explain what I felt. I felt happy every time I talked to him. I knew it but still was thinking why I felt that way. Until I accepted it myself although I was super scared. I said I can't let it fall any deeper than what I was feeling then.
But sometimes, you are not just the key to someone's happiness. Sometimes, it is another person. And sometimes, you have to let go of your own happiness just to make that someone happy.
By doing that, I've finally done my purpose to him: for him to be happy.
And I realized what God wanted me to realize. I know I can like(as in super) or love again, I just don't want to believe it. He came, and I believed. I was unhopeful of being able to feel happiness again. He came, and I was able to be happier than ever. I was afraid of falling and getting hurt and taking risks. He came, and I conquered all those.
Basically, it was for me to realize not to give up on love and happiness. The door had always been open.. It's just me not wanting to go inside for fear of failing myself and my heart. Life is all about taking risks.
And so we are fair. He has finally done his purpose to me.
Moving forward... and we'll still be friends.. good friends. But still not now, I'm getting there.
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