Finding Happiness

I have all that I would ever ask for. Wonderful family, my mom, dad and brothers. Great friends. I'm surrounded with great people. Who will always be there for me when I need them. A life that not everyone has. And I'm so lucky and grateful that God gave that to me. Yet, I still feel unhappy. Incomplete. And I don't know why. I can't find a reason to be unhappy. But that's what I feel.

I wonder when will they see right through me? When will they know when I feel sad or when I'm not? I wonder how many tears my pillow had catched and my blanket had wept.

I wonder, when will I find someone who would be brave to see right through me?





~~

Photo Manipulation. Picture.

IT'S MY DAY. Thanks for those who greeted me! Salamat ng marami. Actually we didn't go to Ratsky na so I just watched TV. I'd just choose watching TV than watching my brothers knowing there are problems going around us. It's my day yet, I'm not happy. It's not that I didn't get the things I want or hadn't the happiest birthday party I could ever have. There's just some things going around and it hurts me. Especially if it involves a person I really love and who's been there for me for 14 years. My brother. It's quite personal to talk about it here though.

We've known things that we decided not to say to him yet. I can't see why someone he loves do that to him. I can't see why someone would want to hurt someone smart, responsible, talented, sweet, caring, handsome.. the list goes on. Gusto ko yung guy na kagaya ng kuya kong yan. I can't ask for anything more.

On meeting sila ngayon. And I'm here in front of the computer. Tsismosa ko naman kung makikisali pa ko dun sa discussion. Haha.

As of now, I feel pain. :[

Hope everything will be okay..

~~

CLASSES. Our first day of school is moved to June 13. Why? There are only few enrollees. Huwaaaw! Haha. :p

~~

Passed to me by Hazel.

Total volume of music files on my computer:
- 2.21 GB

The last CD I bought was:
- Can't remember. :D

Song playing right now:
- Hold You Down by Jennifer Lopez

Five songs I listen to a lot lately, or that mean a lot to me:
- Same Ground by Kitchie Nadal
- Hold on by Good Charlotte
- Tell Me Where It Hurts by MYMP
- Iris by Goo Good Dolls
- 214 by Rivermaya [actually, there's a lot more. lol. sabi kasi 5 lang e. :p]

Five people to whom I’m passing the baton:
- Marj
- Louie
- Jhiea
- Chel
- Isha

FIREFOX. I downloaded Firefox kanina and it's goood! Lol. Ang galing! It's so fast unlike Internet Explorer. I decided to download it cuz I can't open my gmail on IExplorer. So I just gave it a try, baka mag-open sya sa Firefox. Hehe.

VECTOR. OMG, I actually made a vector!!! Meehhhn.



Ayumi Hamasaki. Uber kuuul. :D I just tried it out. Buti na lang hindi nagloko ngayon ang computer. Kasi kung oo, at hindi ko pa yan na-save. PATAY! Badtrip yun! Just like last night. May error. Asking to close down Photoshop. Suckss. Pero, nakagawa ako ng vector! Yihee! Haha. :p

MOVIES. I wanna watch Amittyville Horror and House of Wax! Haha. Usually di ko trip yang ganyang movies pero ewan ko why I want to watch it. Yayayain ko mga kuya ko. Wahehehe. And Star Wars Revenge of the Sith pa pala. Though I'm not a Star Wars fan. I didn't get to watch the previous films. Kasi sabi nila maganda daw e. :p Wahaha.

HIMALA. I slept at 2:30am! Usually kasi, 5am yan e. Insomniac. Pero at least 2:30am! Maaga na yun sakin! :p And I woke up at 9am. :D

MY BIRTHDAY. I don't know if my dad's going to be at my birthday. He's going to Davao. pff. Concert daw kasi ng Rivermaya dun then yung sound system ulit. I'm not so sure. He asked me if it's okay for me if he's not gonna be there on my birthday. I didn't answer it. :p Waha. Well, after a lot of thinking, it's okay for me. Business naman. Insensitive ko naman kung di ako pumayag. Tama ba yun? Insensitive? Wahehe. Ay, I heard my dad say, "Baka ma-pospone pala no?". Ah, baka. Kasi raw nagkasabay-sabay ang concert. Merong SouthBorder at Freestyle so mahahati yang mga tao dba? Pero nakuha pala namin yung sound system sa Freestyle. (Okay, too much info. You don't care about that anyway, do you? hehe)

Haay, do you think Im going to invite my friends sa Ratsky? Baka walang pumunta e. Hehe. Or di sila available or their parents won't allow them. Haayaay. I don't want to invite my former school friends. Sama ko. Haha. E kasi naaalala lang naman nila ako pag may birthday. :p Kasi sakanila, 'baka may handa sila Cha. tawag kaya ako'. Haay. Ganun na ba? Ang pangit nun noh. Sa OLGM, di naman kasi gimikeras yung mga lagi kong kasama. Well, mejo. :D And we lose contact during the summer.

Na-realize ko, kahit gaano kabait ang isang tao, wala pang kaso compared sa ibang estudyante, honor roll sya, walang bisyo, surrounded by great friends/people, may pagka-bad influence rin at nagkakaron ng sungay minsan. Pag may gimik or pupuntahan, dba dapat nagpapa-alam sa parents? Eh merong isang tao na minsan nagpapa-alam, minsan hindi. :D Meron syang friend na gustong isama ng barkada at gusto ring sumama sa lakad, pero hindi nakapag-paalam. Tatawagan yung parent at ipagpapaalam. Pero bago nun, may nagsabing, "Wag ka nang magpa-alam. Di naman nila malalaman e." HAHA. :p Sama ano? Pero respeto lang rin. Kelangan naman talaga diba nagpapa-alam tayo sa magulang natin? Yung tinutukoy ko, kilala nyo. She's a person made between heaven and hell. :p Haha.

Sige, hulaan nyo. Sino?

[EDIT]Baka pumunta kami sa concert ni Ashanti sa 26. :o At baka hindi rin pupunta dad ko sa Davao! :p Hehe.[/EDIT]

Xanga

Heyy guys. I have Xanga. Hehe. I made it to comment on my friends' that have Xanga blogs. Pero ayun, naaliw naman ako. Lol. And there's a Xanga Premium free trial. I have 20 days left so sayang naman dba? :) Anyway, check it out. Di na sana ako maglalagay ng tagboard e. Pero natripan ko. Edi nilagyan ko na lang rin. :D

My Xanga site! :D Pff pff.

4 days na lang til my birthday! Uh, 3 days na lang 2 hours from now. We're gonna celebrate it at Ratsky, Tomas Morato. Since my brother's are having their gig their every Friday, dun na lang. I'm thinking if I'm going to invite my friends cuz I'm not so sure if they're free that time. :) And not sure if papayagan sila. Yay! Hehe.

That's it for now. Maybe bukas na lang yung post ko talaga. :) Wala lang. :D

Thanks for those who commented and visited my site! <333

GOOD CHARLOTTE!

OMG!!! Good Charlotte Fans out there... or for those who like them...

GOOD CHARLOTTE IS COMING HERE IN MANILA!!!

holy sht. I'm so gonna go!

7.08.2005 Manila, Philippines @ Araneta Coliseum

I found out from their website: http://www.goodcharlotte.com

Okay, so who's gonna go? Man! It's Friday!!! Okay lang. Wahehehe!

~~

PROBLEMA. --

Lately, most of those blogs I have read their posts are about their problems. [Alam nyo na kung sino kayo siguro :)]Marami talagang problema ang mundo, ano? That's life. We have to live with it. Don't forget that we have Him. He'll never leave us hanging and he'll never give us problems that we, cannot solve. He'll never give us challenges that we cannot overcome. He gave us those challenges for a reason. Be it, pain.. hurt.. family problems.. money problems.. academic problems.. pressures.. job problems.. about friends.. about love. And that is to learn from it. What's the use of it if we don't learn from those problems? And it makes our faith stronger.. For some. For some, not. They think that God left them and when he/she needed His help, He wasn't there. Take this friend of mine, she became a goth. You know goth? A satanist. But then, she don't believe in God and she don't believe in Satan, either. But I respect her. We're still friends up to now.

Just look at the bright side of life. Think of it as another challenge in our so-called life. Well, because it is. :p If you need to cry, cry. Tears are okay. Let it all out. Kasi mas masakit kung pilit mong pigilan yung sakit na nararamdaman mo. Naiipon sya. I admit, minsan ganun ako. Actually, kadalasan. I find it hard to express myself and speak my mind to people. Well, okay na yun ngayon sa friends ko. Just to my family. To the fear of they would not understand me. They're not the type that would sit by my side when they see me sad. What they would do is... mas lalo nila akong ba-badtripin. Iinisin. Minsan. Kuya Raymond ko lang yung nakakakita nun. Who will look into my eyes and if I cried then, *mahahalata naman yun sa mga mata dba?* He will notice it and say, "Anong problema?" Then I will say, "Wala." .. "Anong wala? Umiyak ka e.".. "Sabihin mo sakin." .. :D Hehe. But then sometimes, he doesn't. Silang tatlo magaling mang-alaska e. Nasanay na rin ako. But then there are times that they don't know those words that they say. That those words they say hurt people, it hurts me.

They somehow bring me down. Yung parang walang tiwala sa lahat ng gagawin mo. Like for example, I let my dad see my painting. I said, "Dy, tingnan mo." .. "Ikaw nag-paint nyan Cha?" .. "Oo. Bakit?" .. "Para kasing hindi ikaw e." .. Gaaddd. My gaaaddd. [EDIT]Maybe, I'll take that as a compliment. :) Yes. Kasi kung sinabi nyang parang hindi ako yung nagpaint, edi ibig sabihin, maganda yung painting! Wahoo! Haha![/EDIT]

At this stage, what I need is appreciation. Actually, teenagers need appreciation at this stage. [I learned this from our Values Education. I love that subject. Napapaiyak kami tuwing Values Ed.] Pero sometimes, I don't see that they appreciate things I have done for them to be proud of me. Maybe they are but I don't see it. Ewan ko nga kung alam nila na marunong ako gumawa ng website e. My brothers know it though. Everytime I let them see my site, I ask, "Maganda ba? :D" .. "Pangit!". I know their joking cuz they always do that. Ganun lang talaga kami. Pff.

Haha. Pinag-uusapan dito problema ng ibang tao then suddenly, ako naman ang nagsulat about my problems. lol. Actually, di ko na yan pinproblema. Minsan lang, when it suddenly pops into my mind. And then I cry. Lol. Usually at night. Pero, problema ko pa rin sya dba? Pero di ko na sya iniisip. Kasi somehow, I became used to it. And that was the time that I told myself, "I need to prove myself to them." :) My gasssss.

How many times have we been hurt? Or felt pain? Syempre, siguro sa many times that we felt that, we already know how it feels like. We need to detach it. [Whoever read Tuesdays with Morrie already, knows that I'm talking about this detaching thing.]

Malapit na pasukan! Our school starts at June 6! And it suck! Lol. Before, I keep on saying that, "sana school na." Then now, when school is nearly coming and for a fact that it starts on June 6! I complain. Lol. Timang talaga ako. Haha. :p

Oh, my blog has been already added to Pblogger.

~~

[edit2]Newly added links: Jham, Mich, Marilyn

Question:
what font is often used for the link buttons? hehe.. muah!
~marj [xchubbiecheeksx.blogspot.com]
Marjjj!!! :D What do you mean link buttons? Ahh.. yung fonts na maliliit? Yun ba yun? Lol. Yung mga pixelized fonts. :D Merong ganun sa Kao-ani.com.
[/edit2]

Much love to the commenters: Hazel, CheL, louie, fia, marj, irish, jhiea, carme, Pola, Marilyn, shai, yelAyel.

Weekend.

Okay so last Saturday, we went to Batangas. My brothers had a gig there at a beach on Epson's summer party. We left the house at 4:30am from my brothers gig at Ratsky tuloy na kami Batangas. I haven't slept yet nun! Then I fell asleep for awhile while on the way. Gosh, nakayanan ko until like 3 in the afternoon! I got sleep na. Vhong Navarro and Francine Prieto was there. Hehe. Matangkad si Francine ha. :) Puti pa! Hihi. But then it was very hot there! Sobra!

So, while on the way I saw the sun rising. It was very beautiful. Nature's unexplained beauty.



I have had attempt 361273912887311 times to have that perfect shot. I got 5 pictures in my phone.

I have nothing to do there so I went outside[no, not like I want to display myself sa sun no! :p]. May terrace pa yun dun. So dun ako. And I borrowed my bro's N-Gage QD and played Sims. :D Hehe.





And I took a picture of the coconut trees plus nasama pa yung Starex. lol. Yan yung place ko dun while playing Sims. :D



When we went to the backstage, syempre, I took pictures. Mawawala ba naman yun?


Discussion. Lol.


My brother Ian with his guitar. Preparing for their set lol.


Feeling nya gwapo sya sa sunglasses na yan? Haha. Joke. He borrowed my sunglass. Cuz he forgot to bring one. :p


My brother Carlos! :D He decided to color his whole hair. lol. Want to see his previous hair style?


Top.


Back.


Front. Pilit yung smile! HAHA.

I love his hair. Cool! Don't you think? :)

Oh and I also took the pictures of the beach! :D But too bad, we didn't go for a swim. Dude, ang init kaya! Pfff. And there were too many people! Nakakahiya! Summer party nila yun then makikisali kaming mag-swimming! HAHA. :p





After their first set, we were all tired. :( Man, it was sooo damn hot! And I was beginning to feel sleepy.


Ayan, si kuya Amon. Haha.


Eto ako at mommy ko. :p Inaantok na ko nito. And note: My eyes were closed when I took this pic. lol.


Wahahha. Ako nanaman ulit. :p

I didn't watch their 2nd set. Because I was asleep then. Lol. We went home at 4pm ata. Then we got home at 7pm! 3 hours akong tulog! Plus natulog pa ako agad nung pagdating namin until 2:30am! Pinagkasya namin mga sarili namin dun sa sofa bed. Tatlo kami dun. Lol. Kasi sobrang antok kami nun kaya kung san pwedeng matulog, ayun! HAHA. Then nag-order pala si Mommy ng Goodah! 2:00am nagising si Kuya Amon, 2:30 ako, 3:00 kuya Ian ko. Wahaha. We ate all together. Pero before nun, may nakita akong hindi ko inaasahang makita at dapat hindi ko nakita. HAHA. Ayoko nang ikwento. :p Kung anu man pumasok sa utak nyo, bahala na kayo. Haha. So ayun, I didn't go to sleep na. Tuloy-tuloy until 2pm. or 1pm. I just watched TV kasi my brother was using the computer then I fell asleep. Ayowwwwn. :)

~~~

Kanina, we went to Cubao. We were supposed to go to Gateway but then, we decided to go to Ali Mall instead para isahan na lang 'cuz my dad has to go somewhere there. We bought notebooks sa National. Just notebooks. For later na yung iba. We also bought my school shoes. :)

Well, before that we wento to Klownz Araneta. We have something to drop by there. Then a friend of my dad accompanied us to Klownz Kape. :) It rained hard while we were on the way there.




Iced Mocha. :)



I didn't get to watch Darna and Encantadia! :( If you watched it, tell me what happened! Lol. I got to watch half of Meteor Garden and the last half of Full House. Gassss, nakakakilig pareho! :D

[EDIT]Mabagal mag-load ang pics e. Pinaliitan ko na lang. :) [/EDIT]

Maraming topic sa post na to.

We're going to Gateway today. I woke up at 4:00pm! LOL. Well it's because I slept at 7am. :p Ang weirdo kong matulog. Yung madaling araw, ginagawang hapon. Yung umaga at hapon, ginagawang gabi. Gets nyo? :p Haha. Yesterday, I made a wallpaper.

Wallpaper

It's not the original one. My eldest brother[Ian, Strange] :p made me add his name and my 2nd bro's name[Carlos, Burgie] Lol. He was arguing with me why their names aren't included and I said, "E kasi kami lagi gumagamit ng computer na 'to e.." Lol. Ayan, I added it na lang. :p

We ate breakfast at 4:30 am. Lol. Laugh trip the whole time. We laugh more than eat. As like what my bro Ian said, "Iba talaga ang tama ng lumang kanin". Cuz my mom said, "Hintaying nyo yung kanin. May kanin dun na bago". Nagtaka kami. Then my brother Raymond said, "Kanin na bago??". Hirit ni kuya Ian, "ah so, lumang kanin pala tong kinakain natin?". ROFL.

Ow, gawd, we're so crazy. LOL.

ASAR. Pinagsabay nila ang Meteor Garden at Full House! Todo kilig naman ako kahapon! Haha. I keep on switching channels. My gassss.

UPDATE. Yung about what happened sa weekend ko, mamayang gabi na lang. Cause I still can't upload the pictures. The laptop's not herreee. Oh by the way, we went to Batangas nung weekend. :)

Update tomorrow.

I want to update right now about what happened on my weekend but I want my post to have the pictures I took. And I can't upload it right now.

Anyway, question box:

1. suplada ka ba?
- I read this last night and it surely made me laugh. Who asked this one? :D Suplada ba ko? I think no. :) Hehe. Maybe minsan, sa mga taong dapat lang. Mabait naman ako dba? HEHEHE. What do you think guys? Suplada ba ako? Haha. :p

I added 4 new links. Isha, Sarah, Fia and Audrey. :D

And I added my "Daily Reads". :)

Guys thanks so much for visiting my site!!! I really appreciate it <3 :D

Much <3 commenters: Shai, Louie, Hazel, Chenee, Hanagirl, Jhiea, Alex (new), Carme

[EDIT]Btw, check out my portfolio. I forgot to put the link here. :)[/EDIT]

Dreams & Harry Potter

HARRY POTTER. I already watched the teaser trailer! I have to download Quicktime so I could watch it! Wanna watch it? Go to DanRadcliffe.com. Thanks to Louie for informing! :D I hope the movie is as good as the book. But o well, haven't seen an HP movie that's good as the book. I don't want to expect too much. The 3rd and 4th books are my fave of all HP books. I got the 6th book reserved already! I thought I lost the claiming receipt but it was just only inside my bag. Well I thought I lost it cuz I was looking on the wrong bag. Lol. Emma Watson became prettier. Katie Leung is casted as Cho Chang. She's okay for me. Pretty enough. I guess people loathe her cuz they're just jealous esp. Daniel Radcliffe fans. note: Daniel Radcliffe fans not Harry Potter fans. Lol. Because she's Harry's crush on the book. :p And Katie gets to uhh, dance and hang-out with Daniel. :p Dba? Yihee. Haha.

DREAMS. Some dreams are weird. Some dreams are freaky. Some dreams are.. dreams that you want to last forever. :D Hazel and I were talking about our dreams. Since she had a post about her "weird" dreams.

I remember once I dreamt that a tiger, or was that a lion?[can't remember, lol], was chasing me around the house. Until I got inside the room and locked it. I woke up after that. And I was panting.

And this dream I'm going to tell you is really Weird. I dreamt that I was floating from the bed. Then I woke up, I saw the ceiling like inches away from me. Basta it was really near. Then I was really shocked then right after, I just fell down to the bed. Real fast. I was really shocked, man! Parang, "Ako? Lumipad? Totoo ba yun or was that just a dream?".

Do you think deja vus are freaky? Maybe? We go to the future raw e. I mean, yung soul natin. DAW. When we remember our dreams, it will not happen. If we do not remember our dreams, it will happen. We will only recognize it if it already happened to us. Don't you find yourself saying, "Napanaginipan ko na 'to."? Sana gaya nalang natin si Raven ng that's so Raven. Uh, pero, no. It's kinda freaky that you'll know what will happen to you on that certain day.

There was a time in my dream when I was with my friends, I think they were doing some kalokohan. I think we were at school. Then nagsalita ako ng "Wag!". I woke up and found myself saying that word, too. Then nasa room yung mommy ko nun then sabi nya, "na-ano ka Cha?" ROFL. Then we laughed. Haha.

TELEPHONE DREAM. *rofl* I dreamt that the telephone rang and I went to answer it. Before, merong sofa sa room. Then, I sat there sa sofa on my dream to answer the phone since the phone was beside the sofa. Cuz there was a rack beside the sofa DAW where you put figurines/displays plus the phone. When I already answered it, I woke up, found myself sitting on teh sofa. Yung kamay ko, doing the "y-speak" sign. You know like when you imitate you're handling a phone? Yeah that. And wala naman talagang phone at rack dun beside the sofa in reality. It was like 9 or 10 am in the morning then you just woke up and suddenly become hyper. LoL. I was laughing at myself then. Buti na lang no one saw me laughing cuz they might thing baliw na ko. Haha.

Then meron din na naglakad ako from the bed to the fridge[sa kwarto, di sa kusina]. Daddy ko nagkwento sakin nung nagising nako. Haha. Then I said something daw, "Si kuya junjun? nasan si kuya junjun may pinapasabi/pinapabigay..." Lol. It's weird cuz I don't remember me walking or even talk.

My brother told me this dream of his'. But it was touching. Cuz he dreamt that his girlfriend died and then ako rin mamamatay. Then he said, "my girlfriend was already taken away from me and now, why my sister?". He didn't really tell me the detailed story of his dream but that was how the dream went. He woke up then he cried. :'( Don't you think it's touching? He cried cuz I was about to die. :'(

Oh, I remember the dream that I cried when I woke up. It was really a "future" type of dream. It was like Star Wars. Someone was attacking the world and the world was going on chaos. It was really chaotic. Then people start to evacuate to places that are safe. Then this house, where we're at, the ceiling was glassed[transparent], or rooftop rather. But outside, it was just a rooftop. You wouldn't know that it's glassed unless you go inside. We saw the dark skies then there were like, UFO's, nagbabaril-barilan. It seems like someone was trying to invade the world. Then it was really high-tech. Cuz my watch, it has this video thingy that I can see what's happening sa mga away or sa sky na kung saan may mga UFO's. Then awhile later, we were running. Me, my brothers and my parents. We put our parents on a grocery cart since that time, they have a hard time running as fast as us. Then may humarang samin. My parents were killed. Then there were the 4 of us. Me, and my 3 brothers. My elder brother, hinarangan nya yung "someones" na yun para we can survive. But then, those someones killed him also. Then I was on the ground crying and crying. Then I suddenly woke up, and tears fell down. :'(

O, have you ever talked, walked, laughed or cried while sleeping? Or if you ever ran while sleeping, tell me. ROFL. :p

Share your dreams. :D What I mean is, dreams when you sleep. Not dreams that you want to achieve someday. :D Hehehe.

OMG.

OMG. I can't believe this. Tama ba to? 1,022 hits? OH I LOVE YOU GUYS! LOL. And record breaker! I got 10 comments! Woohoo! Haha.

Anyway, nothing much happened. I just met new friends. Add me sa y!m. Hehe. Oh, by the way, if you like to join forums xD [Reine, nagpplug ako! HAHA :p], join E*tcetera Forum!. Masaya dun! Hehe.

[Sunday] Mother's Day. Well, I greeted my mom a Happy Mother's Day nung madaling araw. Hehe. We just ate at Marina. I have some pictures but I haven't uploaded it yet. Grabe, I love the baked oyster there! Sobrang sarap! :D Then my brother Carlos and Raymond bought a flower for my mom. Pink roses. Cute. I took a picture of it. Pero as what I have said, I haven't uploaded it yet. I kinda feel bad cuz I didn't make anything for my mom this year. Bawi na lang on her birthday on June. :D Cuz every year, I make handcrafted cards for her. Last year I made her a card that I like. I mean, it looks like a pro invitation/greeting card. Im going to find it and scan it for you to see. :D

Dude, it's supppperrr hot! It's raining but it's still hooott! Gawd. :( I joined new fanlistings! LoL. I'm a fanatic? Haha.

[EDIT] And I'm also a HATER! LoL. Look at my HateListings! But hey, I'm a good hater! Hehe. I hate the bad things! =D Omg, I think we're going out today. I dunno. I hope! So I'm not going to be stuck here in front of the damn computer! LOL.

Last night or was it earlier this morning? Wahaha. It was 4:30 in the morning! Magkatext kami ni Jesy[oww, ayan nanaman. Sikat ka nanaman! HAHA] and these text messages made me laugh:

Jesy: Ah ok. Ndi naman pala masama e. Para kcng nakakal0ko ka? madalng araw ult.Ü naka sun ba xia? Cnu sa iy0ng mga kaibgan ang nakasun?

<-- And so I replied and answered her question. I mentioned Ate AM, AJ, Ryan, Nelson Kevin, Astrud, Tasha, Ace, Eins, Mark. Of course you don't know them either. LOL. -->

Jesy: ay. Churie, l8 lng dmtng rep m!.. Aah 0k. Mag sun kna kc! At salamat sa mga pangalang binangt m pro, we're n0t cl0se.. [hahaha! - cha]
Jesy: Hahaha.Ü ur s0 funny! Cgraduhn m sa bday m0! Gift m sakn a? An0ng yr m pla? 17 days nlang.Ü

ME: Haha. Ako pa may gft sau sa bday k0! Haha.Ü an0ng yr k na? 3rd yr.Ü magfo14. 1991.Ü waha, 17 days. Layo pa.Ü haha.

Jesy: Haha. 0k un. Ok b un sau? At wag kang plosop0. Alam kong mg 3-3rd yr kn! .. 0o, nkasve n pla sa clendar sa fne ko. Malpit na yan, isipn m, partng na c santa.

ME: Tnan0ng m xe kng an0ng yr ko. E d ako sure sa answer ko edi lngay ko ung 3 possible answers. Wahehe. Haha, paratng na c santa. Edi magkChristmas na! W0oh0o! Nlampasan natin ang, 7 months ng school! Haha.Ü [timang ko noh? haha. 7 months!]

Jesy: Hahaha. Isang malakng pilosopo!Ü 0o. Parating na c santa. Santa d2 samin pg c-mas magulang namin e. Haha. 7m0nths! Wala na o.L! Gnabain na! Wh0oaw! [ano? Gnabain? baka, giniba na? haha :p]

La lang, share lang XD lol.

[/EDIT]

~~

I just joined the A Walk to Remember Fanlisting and I saw some quotes from the movie on the site : http://www.fire-whisky.net/walktoremember/.

"Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful or conceited. It is never rude or selfish. It does not take offense and is not resentful."

Dean: If there is a greater power, why is it he can't get you a new sweater?
Jamie: Because, he's too busy looking for your brain. [nice one! -cha]

Landon: I might kiss you.
Jamie: I might be bad at it.
Landon: That's not possible.

Landon: I just wish she would have gotten her miracle.
Reverend Sullivan: She did. You were her miracle.

Jamie: You don't know the first thing about being someone's friend.
Landon: I don't just want to be your friend.
Jamie: You don't know what you want.
Landon: Neither do you. Maybe you're just scared that someone might just want to be with you.
Jamie: And why would that scare me?
Landon: Because then you wouldn't be able to hide behind your books, your fricken telescope, or your faith. No, you know the real reason why you're scared? It's cause you wanna be with me too.

Eric: Talk to me man.
Landon: About what?
Eric: About you, about Jamie.
Landon: What's there to talk about? She's the best person I've ever known.

[EDIT]love is like the wind. you dont see it but you can feel it. *Thanks Carme for reminding me! xD[/EDIT]

Gawd, even I watch that movie over and over again, I won't get tired of it. Dude, it's such an amazing movie! How many times have I watched that movie? But still it never fails to make me cry. :'( :D Hehe.
~~

Much <3 to the commenters!

Plugs: Carme, Marj, Reine, Jhiea, Louie, Hannah

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAU!

Pau, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOOOHH! haha. :p

May gift ako sau, :p wahaha. Ay di ko pa nauupload, wait lang. Haha.





Upload mo na lang sa server mo. Click on it to save it on your comp. :) Hehe.

Hope you like it. McFLY pa yan! Haha. :p

Greet Pau a happy birthday on her site. :D

~~~

KWESCHON VUXKSH.!!!

1. suggestions/questions
- eto nanaman ulit. gumagana po yan. :p haha.

2. ayan. lab kita. haha. :D
- HAHA. :p You cracked me up on this one! :p Sino to? Hahaha. Aylabyu! Salamat! Hahaha. :p

~~~
19 days before my birthday!

Kweschon Vaxsh.

1. mas gus2 ko ung dati mong layout
- Kilala ko sino to.. MIMA? Hehe. Ayus lang, I changed the layout kasi I thought people were having a hard time navigating through my blog that's why I changed it. :)

2. hi cha.. my new blog is bringmebacksmc.blogspot.com .... paki
link nman oh.. thnx~!
- Sino to? Ahh, wait lang. Sharmaine? Okies.

3. suggestions/questions
- dude, wag mo naman paglaruan ang kweschuuuun vukxs ko. gumagana yan. :p

~~

Wala man lang nag-comment sa post ko sa baba nito. :( Di nyo nako lab. Haha. :p

Regrets.

Yesterday, we went to my school. Nag-enroll lang. And I saw that there are 2 new students sa list. Ayun wala lang, I'm already enrolled! :)

We went to R&B, Angeles, Pampanga cuz my brother's have their gig there. Kaback-to-back nila yung Major7. May ginawang gimik yung Major7 e. Haha. Nag-DARNA costume yung keyboardist nila! Grabe tol! Haha. Tawa rin kami. Dude naman, just imagine a guy wearing a Darna costume? Benta. Maraming nagbigay ng pera. Haha. :p

PURE INSTINCT. I wonder why I don't get tired of watching them on stage. Hey I'm not saying this because I'm their sister. Honestly. :) I love watching them especially when they play rock music na sunud-sunod. Evanescence's Bring me to life, Perfect, their own version of Crazy for you, the calling, and others. They really do have the energy. Last night, for I dont know how many years, I saw them play Linkin Park's "IN THE END". Dude, grabe. Si kuya ian, I don't really expect that he'd jump from that speaker to the dance floor! Nagulat kami eh. I thought he'd just stand there while playing the guitar. Then nung time na na, "I PUT MY TRUST IN YOU!!..." Yung bagsakan type na, he jumped from that mataas na speaker to the dance floor dude! I was like, "whoa!" Haha. I'm sure people got shocked too. And then after, people surely clapped. Man, I admire my brothers. Hey, they study and work at the same time. Pero graduate na yung dalawa kong kapatid. Meron pang natitirang isa. I'm so proud of them. :)

Okay, off to the topic. REGRETS.

My brother Ian got out of the stage on their 3rd set and he went to me tapos hinila nya ko papuntang dance floor. Shet talaga. They we're insisting me to do that crip walk and go to the stage to breakdance. You know that headstand? Yeah. But I didn't do it. I hate myself for that! :( Why didn't I do it? Why didn't I prove myself to them? I know I could do it but I didn't do it! MAN! Damnit. My brother Raymond said, "Sayang Cha, kung ginawa mo lang yun sa stage na nagbreakdance ka dun, panis yung mga katabi mo dun!". Hiphoppers kasi mga katabi ko nun. And to think wala akong kasamang sumayaw! Asar. I know I could dance pero hindi ko ginawa. Shyness overcame me. Di ko man lang kinapalan ang muka ko for just that once. Well, makapal naman MEJO ang muka ko noh haha. Pero, nahiya ako nun e. Sana lang kung may kasama ako nun. My brother encouraged me more kasi he did his move. He breakdanced sa stage. Pero still, I didn't do it. :(

But hey, it happened for a reason. It made me realize na next time, I really should do it especially if I KNOW that I could do it! Para wala na yung mga, "sayang, I should've done it na lang.." Pano kung wala nang next time dba? I should believe in myself more. That's the reason why my parents or brothers think that I'm so uber shy. I have to prove myself to them. I have to share my talents. That's what talents are for right? Para ipakita sa mga tao? Pero I didn't do it. Damn.

Kung ginawa ko yun, hindi sana ako nagsisisi ngayon.

~~

Suggestions

suggestions/questions
- And I give up forever to touch you.. cause I know that you feel me somehow..

Why the hell is this all capitalized? why evanescence? why
why why oh why? haha. sorry guys, walang magawa. comment naman kayo. or
kweschon. kahit ano lang. haha. :p kunwari, tanong na... "bakit?" haha.
:p ~charlene
- Kasi gusto ko capitalized sya. Kasi gusto kong Evanescence. Bakit? Why why why? Why.. do you always do this to me... Haha. Shet, ako lang nagcomment nyan. :p

suggestions/questions
- When you're in bed, you're DEAD.

suggestions/questions
- S-U-G-G-E-S-T! What do you get? SUGGEST! :p

suggestions/questions
- We'll still have our stories of pirate ships, wounded hearts, broken bones and all the best of friendships.

broken sonnet
- Are you looking for the lyrics of Broken Sonnet? If yes, then, this is definitely the place! NOT. :p Though it was my layout for the month of April. This is a comment and suggestion box, iha/iho. :p Wahahaha.

suggestions/questions
- SHALALALA! SHALALA IN THE MORNING! [haha]

suggestions/questions
- all though we've come to the end of the road.. still I can't let gooo...
~~

LOL. Trip lang. Pero totoo na nasend yang mga yan. :p Puro "suggestions/questions". Diba dapat, dyan tinatype yung questions and suggestions? Hindi dapat nakalagay na "suggestions/questions". LOL. :p Yaher? Kuul with that? Ayt. We're keuuwl. :p

[EDIT]Dudes, try gizoogling your blog. Haha. Laugh trip. :p Look, here's my gizoogled site: HERE. :p[/EDIT]
~~

WHEN YOU'RE IN BED, YOU'RE DEAD. ~

Boyz II Men & Greenhills.

Hello. Anyway, I'm feeling much better. I want to post about Boyz II Men's concert. :) Hehe. Samin kasi yung sound system nun. I thought there were no complimentary tickets cuz my brother Raymond said there were none. It was just when we arrived there when I knew there were complimentaries. I was shocked kasi Ate Therese said that the ticket was P5000. And I said, "5,000?! Kuya 5000 yung ticket!" .. "Oo, complimentary yan e" "Sabi mo walang complimentary?" "Linoloko lang kita." Shet. Haha. Astig talaga. Row I, Seat 1. We had the pictures developed but I wasn't able to scan it yet. Maybe tomorrow.

I really had fun. So much! So first, the local guests performed. Rainier Castillo, Yasmien Kurdi, Faith Cuneta, and Sheryn Regis were the guests. We even had a bet, me, ate therese[my bro's gf] and kuya raymond. Of who will perform first. My bro said it's Faith Cuneta. Ate therese said, it's Sheryn. And I said, "ako si Rainier." Haha. Who won?! ME!!! Hahaha. We were there when they rehearsed by the way. I was sure that it was Rainier who will perform first kasi nung rehearsal sya yung nauna then next was Yasmien, Faith and Sheryn, respectively. Haha. Kakatuwa si Sheryn. I already saw her before sa Dish when my brothers[Pure Instinct] played @ Dish. It was weird cuz the sponsors were ABS-CBN and the guests were all Kapuso. Except for Sheryn. Haha. For Sheryn's 3rd song[I'm not really sure if it was the 3rd], she asked of what people want her to sing[request daw ba. haha]. Ate Therese shouted, REAL LOUD mehn! Haha. She shouted, "Through the fire!" At first, Sheryn didn't hear her. Then the 2nd time Sheryn asked, Ate Therese shouted again, "THROUGH THE FIRE!". Then Sheryn said, "Ano? Chu cha fire?" Hahaha. People were lookin' at us and then we were laughin'. Haha. But then later on, we were told by my brother Ian, who was at the front house control, and Carlos, at the other control[lol, dunno what it is called], that the song "Through the fire", was really on the song list. But it was fun anyway. Hehe. Her last song was, "Maybe". Then there was a 15-minute break. Then people were like, "aww. 15-minutes?!" Haha. Nabitin. So we went to my mom to get the camera since a lot of people were taking pictures and took videos. Di naman maiiwasan yun e although the ticket said, "No cameras or video recording allowed. Violators' equipment will be confiscated." Hehehe.

So, when it was Boyz II Men's turn, people screamed! Loud mehhn. I don't know what's the title of their first song but it was upbeat. They even danced. And then the 2nd song, OMG OMG OMG!!!, "can we go back to the days our love was strong? can you tell me how a perfect love goes wrong? somebody tell me how to get things back, the way they used to be, oh God, give me a reason, I'm down on bended knee." HOLY CRAP mehhnn. Too loud screams. Haha. I can't believe I watched them live. I mean, they're really great. Then they gave roses to people. The people went like.. near the stage. Sa harapan ng stage ha. There were 24 roses. 8 each. Their song was "I'll make love to you, like you want me to.." We were shy to go there at first but after the roses thingy, we went there cuz ate Therese wanted to go and of course, I want to go too. So I volunteered, "tara punta tayo sa harapan.." and ate Therese said, "Tara!" Haha. Cool mehhn. cool. So we went and nakipagsiksikan pa kami on our way there. Haha. I took a picture of them. I was like shaking a bit when I was taking a pic of them. "Omg, i cant believe this." Haha. And then, like any other concert, they say that they got to go and they'll act like it's their last song. Then people shouted, "MORE MORE MORE!!!" Haha, we went back to our seats. We weren't half way when Ate Therese said, "meron pa yan, balik tayo balik tayo!" hahaha. :p So we went back. Ayun, kumanta pa sila. Their last song was "although we've come to the end of the road, still I can't let go.." Saya, grabe. Ate Therese got to touch the hand of.. I don't know what's his name. Lol. Then we were singing End of the Road and swaying to the slow beat. It was so much fun. Galing dude. Magaling! :)

One unforgettable night. It was one heck of a night.

~~~

GREENHILLS. Greenhills kami kanina. We were thinking if we'll go to Greenhills or SM Megamall since it's sale there. But we went to greenhills instead. We first ate at Pancake House since my dad's hungry. And I kinda am too. I ordered the Roast Beef. Dude, it was afternoon and I ordered rice. Haha. Pero, ang linis ng plato ko dude. Haha. Ako lang nakaubos. Hungry talaga e no. Haha. :p

Then we went to shop around. My dad went to Cardinal Audio. I dunno what he did there but I'm sure it's about the sound system thingy again. Lol. Then we went to tiangges. So yun, we bought shoes. I bought a High-cut red Chuck Taylor. And my mom bought shoes too. The shoes[2] she bought were cute. Hehe. Beige color and stylish. It's not obvious na galing sa tiangge. Haha. And mura lang. :) My aunt Edna bought shoes too for her kids[my cousins]. Then we went inside. Pero tiangges pa rin nandun. Daming tao. We went to find the way dun sa mga cellphones section. Sa taas yun e. Where we went to repair my brother Raymond's old phone[7650] last time. Babalik kami ulit para iparepair yung phone. System error lagi. And para ipa-repair din yung P800 ni kuya Raymond. Well not actually repair. We just bought a battery of it. It won't open kasi. The problem was the battery so we bought a new battery. Then bumaba na kami. We bought a watch. Actually, I. haha. Red colored watch to match my shoes and a black one. I liked the black one. I wore it already kanina. May nakasabit pang hearts, hearts. Hehe. Cute. Then I was lookin' for trucker caps. I bought a red one too. Hala. Ma-red. Haha. Then we went to find a hardware store. Ayun, DIY-Shop. Then we were all tired so we went at Gloria Jean's Coffee to just .. chill. Haha. :p I ordered Cookies 'n Cream chiller. We were quite long there. Nagbrown-out pa nga e. But it was not too long. Then after, we went to walk astraight. Not around kasi we just walked straight naman e. Hehehehe. :p Nagutom daddy ko sa mga food na nakita nya. Haha. Puro kainan kasi dun e. Then we ended up going to a Korean Restaurant called Sarabol. Dude, I was soo full. Di ko naubos yung food ko. Pero masarap sya. :) Tapos nagtatawanan kami dun sa name ng food. "oji-a-bap" ata yung inorder ng daddy ko. basta squid yun. bap-bap-bap raw. hahha. kasi yung last names ng food "bap". "Bap-barap-bap-bap.." Kumanta pa daddy ko. Haha. We went home afterwards.

Ah, we saw Jay-R nga pala on our way sa pagaantayan namin ng sasakyan. I dunno who he was with. Tatlo sila magkakasama. I think the girl was from viva hot babe? I'm not so sure. And I don't know her name either. I dunno the other guy. Then we saw Pilita Corales @ Kookabar. Yun lang. Hehe. :)

~~

BELATED HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY ATE THERESE!!!

Mukhang maganda yung Encantadia. Astig yung pagkakagawa. Didn't get to watch Full House's ending. :( We were at the concert kasi nun. Tsk tsk.
~~
"So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they're busy doing things they think is important. This is because they're chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is devote yourself to loving others, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning."
--Tuesdays With Morrie, Mitch Albom

~~
[EDIT] UPDATE YOUR LINKS. CHANGE MY URL PLEASE. IT'S unwritten-me.tk. THANKS A LOT! [/EDIT]

God puts us into situations.

I'm cold..
I'm too far..
I'm being too far..

Frustration..
Loneliness..

Yesterday, I was me.
The me that everyone knows about..
The me that everyone sees me..

I was happy..
I was having the time of my life..
I was feeling this feeling I never felt..
I was having this damn fun I never experienced..

I was like a die-hard fan watching a concert..
Though I really wasn't, I was like it.
And I liked the feeling.

After, we got home..
I was back to my old fuckin' self..
Summer. Bum.
I wasn't really like this..

This isn't me.

Frustration..
Loneliness..
The feeling of boredom..
The feeling of being damned..

Of Shitness.
Of melancholy..
Of being oblivious to everybody..

I am so unwritten.
I am so unwritten.
I can't feel.
I'm numb.

Summer is so shit.

Frustration..
Loneliness..

Overcomes me.
Like hell.
Scream.
I want to scream.

Shout as loud as I could.
Anger. So much.
Pain. No pain.
I am numb.

Summer bum.
Hate it.

Pillows, like clouds.. A
lways ready to comfort..
Blankets, Always ready to wipe my tears..

Night skies, stars, moon..
Always ready to make my mind off something I worry about..
They're so ready to make me see their beauty..
Life's beauty..

The wall..
Always ready to listen to my damn thoughts, frustrations, anger, pain, shits, loneliness, happiness,
And even have the patience to just look at me,
Reminiscing..

Frustration..
Loneliness..

And then, nothing.

It makes me feel bad.

Maybe after some time, I would be back to my old self. The old me that.. Smiles. Laughs. Jokes. Me, being happy. After summer.. Maybe.

~~~
I sent this to Jesy and Rowelyn. Just needed someone to talk to or someone who will listen. Though they're offline, it just made me feel better. Not so so so better but just better.

Why do bloggers sometimes..want to quit blogging? I don't even remember what's the use of my blog. Of me, blogging. It strains my eyes. And no one even really care about what's happening with my life. Or what have I been up to. Or even how was my day. People rarely come by here this days.

I didn't even get to tell about what happened last night. It was fun. But that was just last night. But do anyone care about what happened at Boyz II Men's concert?

I feel bad. Not just about blogging. In a rate of 100%, the blogging thing may be only.. 10%. I don't even know why or what am I feeling bad from.

I don't even know why am I sad. Lonely. When there's nothing to be sad about. I don't even know what's bothering me. Or maybe is it just boredom? Nah, I don't think so. Oh, yeah maybe. Boredom.. makes you think about things right? Reminisce?

This isn't me you know. This isn't really me. I am a happy person. I am the person who laughs and cracks jokes. I am an optimistic person. But I cannot find that optimistic person in me these days. I was really different.

I rarely laugh and smile these days. I smile or laugh real hard when I read blogs like Saab's. But too bad, she closed down her blog. Or when I chat with my friends. Well I chat with my friends all the time. Of course, when I am online. :p But I rarely laugh real hard or smile. I get cold. I am being too far away from them.

It's not really me.

I am an optimistic person. I get to look at the brighter side of life. I was always the one who get people to think positive. Like before quizzes, exams and stuff. I always tell them, "Pagkatapos nito, wala na. Tapos na paghihirap natin." Or even when I have problems, I get too look at the bright side. I always tell myself, "hold on if you feel like letting go.." or even think that God has His reason why He's putting me into this. He always does have a good reason why He's putting us into situations we don't like. Right?..

I have a lot of lessons learned. You could stuck a lesson in my head again. Or some words of wisdom. During these times, I forget some words of wisdom I have been telling myself a hundred times.

I can't really find that optimistic person in me these days.

Maybe after summer.. Or maybe .. whenever. I don't know.

I have to type this all over again 'cause the frickin' browser loaded "HOME" when I didn't even click something. I did, but I clicked the Internet Explorer icon on the taskbar. And when I clicked "RECOVER POST", nothing happened. IT SUCKS. Dagdag badtrip.

Puffy eyes. I don't even know why would I cry.
~~~

"God puts us into situations we don't like for us to be able to grow.."

~~~

I know, I understand that. But my question is, why am I feeling bad or sad when I don't even know what's bothering me? or there's nothing to be sad about? I should be happy 'cause it's summer right? It's vacation. No classes. No assignments. But I want to go back to school now. Boredom? And why am I feeling this way?

~~~