Christmas Party 2008.

We just had our Christmas Party. Yeah, on the 29th of December. I know, it's late. But it's still a party. Whatever you call it, a Christmas or a New Year Party. It was fun, as always, because it's a family Christmas Party. There are like 6 families who went, all are family friends or barkada, cousins, whatever. At last, we're all complete now. Last year, my brothers, cousin and uncle(and my dad, too) weren't here because they were at Davao and had some gig for almost one month so they didn't spend Christmas with us. We knew it was going to be a lonely one because there were only 3 of us-- me, my mom and my tita. Because of that, we thought of organizing a Christmas party for everyone who was left over here at Manila. That was way back when things weren't too complicated yet.. and chaotic. Thank God that everything is almost going nice now.

So, last year, the whole band and my dad weren't here, and of course, we miss them because the group isn't complete without them. So for us to have some fun and not have a blue Christmas, we had our Christmas party. It was uber fun that we did it again. Tonight. Just tonight. It had the same people from last year. Our family friend, Kuya Ces and Ate Gem with their kids(there are 4 of them, I think. Two with the almost the same age as mine and two little kids. The little kids were uber cute! Very Chinese! Hehehe). My cousin's family, Kuya Sonny and Ate Lhyn with their only child for now, Ska, who is 7 years old. My cousin's neighbor who also became a family friend, Kuya Otoy and Ate Sheila with their kids(who are sooo kulit!). My uncle Arthur and Auntie Sherriz who doesn't have a child yet because they just got married last year, I think? Yeah, right! My brother Kuya Ian and his wife, Ate Liza who just got married last September and of course, us, our family. Our family was all wearing red. My Kuya Raymond is wearing white though because his girlfriend, Ate Therese, is also wearing white. Some wore yellow, green, and brown. The red team was winning though. Hehe.








Last year's Christmas Party at Philam Homes. Same people, only bigger because my brother's and the others are now here.

Last year, we spent the Christmas Party at our house at Philam but since we already left there, we spent it at our house in Commonwealth. I was shocked because there were lights(just a spotlight) and sound system! LOL. We even said, "Hindi kaya mabulabog mga kapit-bahay natin neto? Hahaha!" The staff and crew of Sound Chaser¹ were also there, btw.

It was really fun because we were complete and all of us participated in the parlor games. Yeah, we had that! Haha. There were like almost 6 or 5 games. Our all-time favorite game, Pinoy Henyo! There was also yung game na palalamugin yung talong(for all singles! Too bad I didn't win, I was 2nd though. Haha). Then an imbento game called "Isubo mo, Darling". LOL! It was for couples. They were both blindfolded and they're gonna make subo(haha, anong english ng subo? lol) the banana to each other. It was SOO FUNNY!!! :)) Then, the stop dance game for kids and their fathers. And the last game was the relay game! It was really fun because most people got to participate. Damn, we lost! BOO-HOO!!! We were ahead of the other team first! But because of me, YEAH RIGHT!! LOL. I was to blow the flour in the paper plate and under it, there's a word that we're gonna say then after, grab a flag inside the basin full of water which says WINNER. YUN YON! Dun ako natagalan! Langya. The paper was really sticky! I had a hard time taking the plastic off too! So there, we lost. BOO-HOO! But it was fun. I think it was my first time blowing the flour. I was coughing and the flour was all over me! My face, my hands, my shirt and my pants! Damnit. LOL. But it was really fun.

After the games, we had our exchange gifts. I got a bag! Yay! Lol, I got like 3 or 4 bags as a gift this Christmas. It's okay, at least, I have bags man!! I can't get enough of it. Especially school bags. Lol. I hoped that my mom, dad or my Kuya Carlos(2nd bro) picked my name but they didn't. Well, why? Because their gifts are the mugs from Starbucks! I wanted one! I picked my uncle's name, Uncle Arthur, so he got a Starbucks mug, too. Lol. Dapat kasi 300php up and we can't think of anything else to give. Because we didn't know who we will exchange gifts to until the time for our exchange gifts so we had to buy a unisex gift.

They're still downstairs. The adults are playing cards and drinking, hmm, wine or Matador? Lol. I don't know. Usually I join them, but they didn't invite me over so I didn't go. The kids are still here, too. They're playing, I guess. Their voices, both the adults and kids, can be heard from over here and I'm at the 3rd floor. That's how noisy they are. I can't find anything to do so I ate again, read the book my Kuya Carlos gave me as a gift(For One More Day by Mitch Albom), and now I'm typing this blog post. I don't know what made me type this long post to think that I am lazy to blog these days. So I think it has been a long time since I made a real update.

Anyway, these kind of events and parties make me want to have a DSLR so much. I want to be the one capturing the moments. I also want our video cam be fixed because I, too, want to be the one recording the moments that can never happen again the same way. I'm having fun doing it. But anyway, it will happen. I know, it will. :D

And oh yeah, sometimes I think my family doesn't really know me well. I mean, they may see the me I am showing them, but they don't see the me when I am with my friends. Well, we all act differently when we're with family and with friends. But still, it's the same us. Isn't it? I just think I can't really show to my family what I am showing to my friends because it's inappropriate. Anyway, they still think of me as the shy and quiet person. Well yeah, I am shy but I have changed a lot in terms of self-esteem and confidence but they don't see it. I am quiet, but I am also really really talkative. So I have to exert more effort now for them to see how much I have changed, for the better? I don't know. I just don't know. I guess they have just so much expectation of me that I can't meet their standards. I know they have high expectations of me, I really know it. I can tell. Sometimes it's making me feel frustrated and feel that I am not enough, that what I am doing isn't enough. I know I shouldn't feel that way and I shouldn't think that way because they're family and they accept me for whatever and whoever I am. But yeah, what can I do? It's how I feel, and sometimes think. It makes me want to be alone at times because I don't want to hear my brothers talking to me, my mom and my dad talking and talking about stuffs that I should do and whoever I am not. You know? Agh. This post just turned into a rant. This is supposed to be about the Christmas Party, supposed to be a happy post.

And this has turned to be a really long one. Thanks for reading, anyway. I'm going to return to reading For One More Day. And I hope, I will finish whatever I need to finish this vacation. I have much to do yet I am not doing it and I haven't finished doing it. I have the tendency to start off a thing and not finish it because I get lazy. Just like what I am doing for my year-ender for this blog. I want to finish it but I am lazy to. Grr.

Anyway, bye. :)

¹ Sound Chaser is a lights and sound system rental, sales and installations for concerts, events, and the like owned by my family.

Tagged.

Rules:
Do the following without any complaints.
Choose 5 lucky people to do this after you have done it.
Leave a tag at his/her tagboard if he/she has been tagged.

FAVORITES:
Colors : green, blue, a little bit of orange. black & white, but then, those aren't colors.
Food: italian, chinese, seafoods, filipino, korean, american, lahat na. lol.
Song: [For all time] this i promise you by nsync.(yun lang naisip ko e, pero lam ko madami pa.) [For now] White Love Story- As One and Goodbye - The Melody (Coffee Prince OSTs)
Movie: A Walk to remember. The Notebook. If Only. 50 first dates.
Sports: Basketball. Badminton.
Day of the week: Wednesdays and Thursdays.
Season: Ermm... Christmas? Lol.
Ice cream: Cookies and Cream. Rocky road. Anything with chocolate on it.

CURRENTS:
Mood: NR. Lol.
Taste: --
Shirt: navy blue.
Desktop: Coffee prince cover.
Toenail: orange-y nail polish.
Time: 2:34am
Surroundings: not too hot, not too cold.
Thoughts: nothing.

FIRSTS:
Bestfriend: Ermm... hmm. Forgot. I was kinder then. And I don't know if she/they were my bestfriends. Hahaha. Honestly, I didn't have much best friends.
Movie: don't remember.
Lie: dunno.
Songs: those old rock songs yata that I hear when my brother's perform way back 1995 or so. LOL.

LASTS:
Cigar: I don't smoke.
Drink: Juice.
Car ride: Yesterday.
Phone call: Lol, can't remember. Maybe yesterday's yesterday? Or last week? Or.. hmm.
CD: Can't remember! Lonnngg time.

HAVE YOU EVER:
Dated your best friend: No.
Broke the law: Maybe? I dunno. What do you mean by law? As in, Philippine Constitution? Haha.
Been arrested: Nope.
Kissed someone you don’t know: No.

5 THINGS YOU’RE WEARING:
bracelet.
slippers.
pj's.
t-shirt.
earrings.

4 THINGS YOU’VE DONE TODAY:
Net surf.
Watched TV.
Had a conference with my blockmates in YM.
Fixed my blockmate's CSS in LJ which made my head kind of hurt. LOL.

3 THINGS YOU CAN HEAR NOW:
My bro's TV from his room.
The keyboard type.
Music.

Tagged by: Noime. Thanks Noiii! :D

I tag..
Cerisse.
Renz.
Kim.
Chel.

can't think of nyone else.
--

Kinukulit ko kuya ko kanina(3am). Nawala yung internet e. Pangit. Kaya pumunta ako sa room niya, kinulit siya. Matutulog na dapat siya, nakahiga na, at nanonood ng tv. Hehehe. Pinapatigil niya ako kasi matutulog na raw siya pero kinukulit ko pa rin. Hehehe.

Kuya: Sige dare kita, pagdating ni Kuya Junjun* mamaya, kulitin mo siya.
Me: Ayoko.
Kuya: Wala, chicken ka.
Me: Hindi. Chick ako. Maliit. Di ako chicken.
Kuya: Hm, hindi ka maliit. BAKULAW ka na e! Bakulaw!
Me: PANGIT KA!
Kuya: BAKULAW! BWAHAHAHHAHA!!!!
Me: Pangit, bakulaw!
=))

*My 2nd brother. They(older bro, cousin and some family friends) were out drinking for some personal reasons. Pakker.

--

Me: Kuya akin muna si Bunny* :D
Kuya: ... Ayoko.
Me: Sige na. :(
Kuya: Si Bunny na nga lang nagpapasaya sa kin dito sa room e.
Me: Hm. *plays with Bunbun's hand(I call teh Bunny as Bunbun)*
Kuya: Kasi tuwing nakikita ko si Bunny naaalala ko little sister ko... BAKULAW!!!
Me: Wah! Pangit ka! Akin na muna si Bunny! Yey akin muna! :D
Kuya: Sige. Kukunin ko yan mamaya sa'yo pag tulog ka na.

*Bunny is a gift given to my brother by his girl friend of 8 years. I call him Bunbun.

Boink boink boink, back!

Hello! LOL. I'm backkkkkkkkk because my much-awaited break is finally here! Yay for Christmas break! Finals are done and so is the course card distribution. It wasn't much of a curse card day for me because to my relief, I passed all subjects. Although I got a 1.5 and a 1.0(Algeb!), at least, I passed. And my Communication Skills laboratory prof didn't drop me from his class! Yay! I even got a 3.0, hahaha. My 2nd term grades isn't as good as my 1st term but at leasttttt, yeah. Lol.

Hmm. It's December 23 already. Only 2 days before Christmas. Happy Holidays, btw! XD I can't think of anything to write here. Lol. I just blogged for some updates, if you call this an update. Lol.

Hmm.. anyways, I gotta go eat. Then, I'll continue watching "Coffee Prince". It's a koreanovela. Hahaha. :p

Byers. XD

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[edit]
I wanna finish collecting my Starbucks stickers. 8 left! Gah. I'll make sure I have the planner by tomorrow!!! Yay for double stickers.

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I'm loving the Zara hoodie a friend gave me for Christmas. Yay! Pambawas daw sa Christmas wish list. Nyahaha. Tenksyouuu! XD Lol, I remember I didn't have a chance to say thank you when she gave it to me.

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We fetched my brother(Kuya Ian) and his wife(Ate Liza) from the airport. They're from Davao. Dang, we waited for almost 2 hours for them. Lol. I'm so sleepyyy. I got home just now(2:03 am). But anyway.. yay for they're spending Christmas with us! Hehe. And I'm going to continue watching Coffee Prince. Haha.

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I just finished this now. Hehe. At last, I had the time to color it. It's my first time with digital coloring so.. pasensya. Hehe. :) Click to enlarge. :)




Merry Christmas everyone! :D

[/edit]

On break.

Handwriting Blog? LOL.

Gah, I'm supposed to be sleeping now. Just trying this. Hehe. :)
--
Yey, okay na ko sa COMSK1x Lab class namin! Pumasok lang ako sa make-up class niya. Then I didn't know they were going to have some debate activity kanina. I thought I had no group but the 1st group to debate told me that I'm in their group. LOL. I said, "Anong sasabihin ko??" Then may ready-made statements na pala dun.

On the beauty side, there were 3 of them and on our side, there were 4 of us. We debated about which is more important, beauty or brains. We were on the Brains/Intelligence side. I didn't know who won but I guess it's us. LOL. Obviously, no matter how much you argue about which is more important, I think brains would definitely win. We had some arguments after the statements we said one by one. I just sat there and didn't speak for a while. Then when things started heating up, I came in and talked and talked. Hahaha. Ohyea, I just realized that I love debating especially when I know what I am talking about. I just didn't agree with what my groupmates in the beauty side were saying. And at some point, they were kind of saying that "brains" is important. But they said they didn't say that. LOL. And I said, "But that's what you're saying e!" HAHA. Then when I was the one talking, my blockmate said, "Oy baka mapunit si Cha niyan!" Haha. Nakaka-high blood e. LOL.

Grabe, I thought drop na talaga ako. But I'm glad our prof was nice and considerate about it. I didn't even talk to him! Hahaha. I was telling my blockmates while we were waiting for the elevator, "O nga buti na lang di na ko drop. Nageenglish english pa ko dun kanina! Na-nose blood na ko dun!" Hahaha. They all laughed about the nose BLOOD thingy.

Ohwell. Ayown. :p 18 days before Christmas. I still can't feel it except that the weather's cold already. Kaya nga ko nagkasakit dahil dyan e. Nyaha. Sa tingin ko, hindi ko mararamdaman ang Pasko hangga't di nage-end ang 2nd term namin. Stress ako. :| Reports, Term paper/Thesis, Finals and the CURSE Cards Distribution. Gahh. I can do this. I CAN DO THISSSS! Lol.

Blog sa ilalim ng aking blog.

Meron nga pala akong blog sa ilalim ng blog na 'to. Kakapost ko lang dun nung mga drafts ko. At nabasa ko ulit yung pinost ko nung December 1. When I read it, it felt like I was reading it for the first time.

Sometimes, I wish things would go the the way back when things were still simple. Things have changed, and it became really complicated. It's sad. Then again, it's something we have to face and deal with.

I miss the happy faces and enlightening smiles I see on the faces of the people I love the most. It rarely happens now. :(

Nalungkot ako nung nabasa ko yan. At naalala ko kung ano nakapagtrigger sakin para masulat yan. Ikkwento ko na lang next time.

Dun sa blog kong yun nilalagay yung mga posts na tipong nadadala ng emosyon ko. Tipong pag malungkot ako o galit ako, magsusulat ako dun. Parang mas maayos yata ako mag-blog pag ganun. Kasi dito nagbblog ako pag sabaw ako kaya random ang lumalabas. Lol.

Naalala ko, ginawa ko yung blog na yun para lang ikwento ang isang bagay na nangyari sa'kin 2 years ago. Konti lang nakakaalam nun. At alam ko, nakalagay yung link sa Archives ko dito. Di ko alam kelan, tinatamad akong hanapin. Bongga, may password pa siya. Haha. Isang kwento kasi yun na hindi dapat malaman ng marami noon. Lalo na dati, maraming nagbabasa ng blog ko na taga-school(HS) ko. At yung nangyari sakin, konti lang nakakaalam: mga kaibigan ko, mga kaibigan niya, mga kaibigan ng taong mahal siya(o sige, girlfriend niya). Marami na rin, pero hindi laganap. (lol, laganap, ano yun sakit? hehe) Hindi ko alam kung dapat ko siyang i-kwento ulit, nagsawa na rin ako dahil paulit-ulit ko na siyang nakwento noon. Siguro, hanapin niyo na lang yung blog kong yun. LOL.

Meron ba kayong ganun? Secret blog maliban sa official blog niyo? O ako lang ba ang may ganun? Para naman malaman ko kung normal ako. LOL. I'm kidding. I know I'm normal.. sometimes. Haha. ;p

-
Grabe, Tagalog nanaman ang post ko. Taglish pala. Haha.

Boy meets girl.

I didn't go to school today. I'm not feeling well :| My mom woke me up at around 4 in the morning and asked me if I will go to school. I was having second thoughts but my body's really weak to get up. Tinanong ko siya kung anong mas okay, sabi niya, wag na lang daw ako pumasok. Okay na lang rin, kasi wala naman kaming gagawin ngayon, puro discussions lang. Hmm, I'm really tired. 2 weeks na lang, term break na namin. Konting tiis na lang.

I have so much to do even if I didn't go to school. Gagawin ko yung report namin para bukas sa Sociology at magreresearch para sa Economics report na project na rin namin. Ok na rin 'to, at least hindi ako mas-stress masyado. Marami pang oras para gawin kaya I should really start now.

Boy meets girl nga pala title ng post kong 'to. Why? Wala lang, wala kasi akong magawa at hindi ko pa masyadong feel mag-start agad na mag-research kaya inaliw ko ang sarili ko sa pagpo-Photoshop. Tinry ko lang kung kaya ko rin gawin dito yung ginawa ko sa Illustrator sa SDA¹ building namin.



Ay, masyado palang maliit yung ginawa ko. *Resizes it* Click niyo na lang para mas malaki. Hehe. Kaya lang medyo lumabo. Toinkkk.

Babae at lalaki ang ginawa ko kaya nung pinagsama ko, ginawa ko na lang Boy meets girl. Wala akong ibang maisip na title e. Hehe. Ok naman siya, pangit lang yata yung buhok nung girl. Kung anu-ano pinaggagawa ko e. Di talaga ako magaling sa pag-shadow shadow. I need to learn how to do it better. My blockmate said, "Practice lang yan."

Anyway, maraming nakalagay sa Christmas Wish List ko. Hindi pa nga pala ako naglalagay ng Christmas Wish List ko dito kagaya ng ginawa ko sa Multiply ko. Sobrang dami nun e. So bakit ko nga ba nabanggit 'to? Konektado ba sa Boy meets girl? Oo. Dahil sa #1 sa list. Yun lang. Hehe. At dahil December na rin ngayon kaya ok lang na magkaroon ng Christmas Wish List dba? Lol.

1. Wacom Intuos Tablet
2. Nikon D40/D40x or Canon EOS 400d DSLR.
3. Starbucks 2008 Planner (5 pa lang stickers ko! Huhu.)
4. Hoodie! Matagal ko na gusto netooooo. Gah. Puro window shopping lang kami ng blockmates ko tuwing magpupunta kami ng mall pag break time.
5. Red Ecko shoes. Astig yung design. Nakita niyo na ba 'to?
6. School bag. Kahit may bag ako for school, hindi pa rin siya enough. Kasi gusto ko yung tipong magkakasya lahat. Sawang-sawa na ko kakadala nung file case ko. Wahaha. Tapos tipong magkakasya din dun yung pang-P.E. ko. Para isa lang dala ko: bag lang.
7. Statement and vintage tees.
8. Makapag-ipon! Syempre para mabili yung gusto ko. Eh ang problema, mahal yung gusto kong bilhin(# 1 and 2). Kaya kung mabait kayo, yan na lang gift niyo sakin. LOL. Kapal ng mukha e noh. HAHA.
9. Magkaroon ng 3.0 up grades sa finals.
10. Own domain. Sobrang dati ko pa 'tong gusto. Mga 2 years ago pa. Wala, tinamad lang ako. Pero ngayon gusto ko na ulit. Toinks.

Hmm. 10 lang nilagay ko dito. Pero sa multiply ko, 25 ang nandun. Sobrang dami. Wala namang masama dba. XD

Btw, Happy Birthday to Dan Hellbound! Lol, binati kita for the 4th time. :))

Sige, bai bai.

¹ School of Design and Arts. Our multimedia lab has Mac Pro, a Wacom Intuos tablet, and anything a Multimedia Arts student would need. We love it there!

Ey em sek.

Mannn, I hate being sick. Well, hindi naman talaga may sakit, inuubo at sinisipon lang. Ayheyteettt. I think it's due to cold weather. Yay, December na talaga! Ohwellpoz.

Hmm. Ano nga bang ginagawa ko dito sa blog ko? Wala lang, gusto ko lang mag-type. Samantalang, meron pa akong position paper na gagawin para sa pinanood namin na Ratatouille(tama ba spelling? hehe) nung Thursday na dahilan kung bakit hindi kami nakapag-pre-enrollment agad. Sinisi daw ba ang movie ng dagang chef. Pero nakakatuwa naman siya, di nga lang namin natapos kaya papanoorin ko siya ulit ngayon.

Tapos, meron pa kaming group report bukas na hindi ko pa nagagawa! Wala pa akong nasisimulan. Gah, sana hindi kami matuloy bukas. :| Tapos marami pa akong gagawin.. may pinapa-upload sakin yung kaklase ko na sandamakmak na pictures niya na sinend niya sa phone ko. Pag hindi ko raw yung in-upload, itatapon niya yung kakabili ko lang na libro ni Bob Ong na Stainless Longganisa. Sige, subukan lang niya. Haha.

Ayun, marami pa talaga akong gagawin. May quiz pa yata kami bukas sa isang subject. Tapos may kelangan pa akong i-send sa ka-group ko na research para sa report namin sa Thursday sa isa pang subject. Yehey, ang saya. Tapos heto ako, nagtatype sa blog ko. Galing ko talaga.

Hmm. Talo nanaman kami sa basketball kanina. Dalawang beses na sila nananalo, kami isa pa lang. Gahhh. Sobrang napagod ako dun. As in, yun lang yung laro na napagod ako. Dati, tawa pa kami ng tawa. Ngayon, medyo seryoso na. Hehe, aliw at masaya naman e, kaya ayos lang.

Ano pa bang gagawin ko? Marami pa. Hindi ko na maisip ano. Kaya siguro nung weekend, nagmukmok lang ako sa kwarto at natulog nang natulog. Para akong wasted. Kala mo yung may problema o yung ginagawa ng taong heartbroken. :)) Pero syempre, hindi naman ako yun. Ganun lang talaga, pagod lang ng sobra.

Anyway highway. Toink toink! Hmm. Ipangalan ko kaya sa balak kong domain yun? Toinks.net? Hahahaha! Togoinks. Toinkers! Ok, wala na kong magawa. :p Hmm. Kakain pa ako. Nagugutom na ang tiyan ko. Bai bai.

Unorganized blah. Me-talk.

I often get frustrated already.

I am frustrated with a lot of things: music, drawing, Photoshop, digital arts, writing, studies, and myself. Yes, I am frustrated with things I love and love to do. I know I should use this frustration as a drive to get better and that I should make the people good at the things I mentioned above as an inspiration. My optimistic self says that I can be better, that I can learn how to be better, that I can do what people good at those things can do; but my pessimistic self(I just knew I have this, I never thought I could have this in me, sad) tells me to give up already, and that I can never be good at those things.

I want to do what my optimistic self tells me to do because it's what the Cha I know would do. But on the contrary, my body and mind follows what my pessimistic self says.

I hate it. So much drama. Bakit ba kasi ang drama ko? Hay. O baka masyado lang akong nag-iisip?

-

Nowadays, I easily give up. I easily get tired and lazy. I easily get scared of the unknown. I easily get scared of the uncertain. Now that's not so me. It's not the Charlene I know. I'm usually game for challenges, for the future, for everything. Now.. it's different, very.

-

I realize my life is becoming a routine.

Everyday, I wake up, take a bath, eat, go to school, sleep in the car for almost 1hour waiting to reach school, sit in class, listen to my profs, talk to my blockmates, hang-out with them, eat lunch, go to class again, try to listen to my profs, talk to my blockmates while the prof is discussing something, wait for dismissal, wait for sundo, go to office, wait there until 6-8pm, sleep while waiting for us to go home, go home, arrive at home, go to room, open computer, go downstairs, eat dinner, computer/internet, set phone alarm, sleep. Then the next day, I do the same thing over again.

I'm scared that the time will come when I will get tired with my life. I hope not. I don't want that. Kaya lang, feeling ko malapit na yun dumating. Ayoko man, pero ganun ang nararamdaman ko. Actually, I'm starting to get tired of my life now. I feel guilty saying that thinking of the number of people out there who's dying to experience a good life just like mine. But it's what I feel. Sad. Maybe I'm just tired. I thought I already got to recharge myself, but it seems like I'm running out of battery again.

Three weeks left until 2nd term ends. 26 days until Christmas. 33 days until 2008.
I can't wait for 2nd term to end. I can't feel that Christmas is approaching. I'm dying for this year to end already.

2007 is a good year for me and for my family. It is. It really is. But I don't get why I can't wait for it to end already.

And for 16 years of my existence, I still don't get myself.

-

If you actually know me, you'll say I don't have any worries, that I am a happy and optimistic person because you'll always see me smiling, laughing or making people . Actually, I am. Or maybe, I was. That's the Cha I know. Now? I kind of doubt if I really am Cha.

My head hurts and I am blurred as my eyes.

I blame myself that my computer has 329 threats because I didn't download AVG first.

My post is unorganized and blah. Yes? Oh well, whatever. I can't think straight.

My head hurts.
My head hurts.

Good night. :)

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[edit]
maybe I am just thinking too much. I am so pakeen emotional. The hell. Hmph. I don't understand myselffffffffffffffffffffff since last night. Gahhhhh. What should I do to make myself feel better? Mygally.

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Help save the environment.

[/edit]

Parteeyyy month.

November is my party month. 3 out of 4 Saturdays this month(including this coming Saturday - the 24th), I've been out. YAY! Birthdays, birthdays, birthdays... and more birthdays. Most of the people I know have their birthdays during November, actually October-November. But this month, my Saturdays were really hectic(yuck, peling sikat? haha joke lang).

The first Saturday of this month, I told my parents and brothers that my blockmate will have her debut(it's an informal one) and it'll be a costume party(Halloween e, hehe). It was in Makati, near Greenbelt which was very far from where I live. GAH, North to South. The next week, I told them that my high school classmate was going to celebrate his birthday. It was a false alarm though. I really thought it was that Saturday which was the 10th, only to find out that it's not until the week after that. Haha. I didn't know his birthday was on the 17th(bad, haha). So I was stuck at home, in front of the PC. The problem was, it's my high school senior ka-barkada 18th birthday party that same night my high school classmate's birthday. GAH. So just like last year, I attended two birthday parties on the same night. And now, my high school super friend is celebrating her birthday on the 24th although her birthday is on the 23rd.

Last Sunday, my mom and dad told me, "Walang party ngayong Saturday ah." I was like, "Hala." HAHA. Grabe. I had the feeling that they don't believe me anymore. Haha. But WTH man, the birthday parties were actually true! Like, I'm gonna lie to them? I have never ever done that in my life just to get out on weekends. I swear! I'm a good girl. LOL. I can't blame them though. If I put myself on their shoes, it's really doubtful that every week my excuse was "Birthday nung kaklase ko dati e, si Ano.." But what can I say? They can't blame me either. It's not my fault that most of the people I know were born on the month of November. To think that most of them are my high school super friends, of course, I would not want to miss their birthday celebrations for anything else! Why? Because I so miss them! I miss hanging out with them and we have a lot of catching up to do. I've been dying to see them since the reunion last July and some, since graduation.

So for Saturday, I asked them last night if I can go so I can inform my former classmate if I can go or not. Fortunately, they agreed. Yey! Man, this was the only month where I went out every weekend. I swear. Since school started, every weekend, I've been at home being a bum. Sleeping or whatever. Lol. And this Saturday is the last party I'll go to.. hmm, I take it back. LOL. December is coming up which means another high school get together. I hope! Haha. :D

--extra--
Anyway, last November 17 was really a fun fun night! When two of my high school senior barkada saw me, they were both screaming and jumping! HAHAHA. Imagine us doing that outside Starbucks, Convergy's. Haha. Aww, it was a happy sight. My favorite line that night was, "So, kamusta ka naman, *name*?" Haha. The time we spent together wasn't enough because we arrived at my ka-barkada's house at almost 9pm because we were waiting for them at Convergy's. We didn't know the way to her house and I actually forgot na rin. Layo kasi, madaming pasikot-sikot. Tipong, madaming villages sa isang village(Filinvest II). Haha. Gah. So, we didn't have the time to really talk about things. But it was really great seeing them again. After that, we went to Eastwood to go to another party. There were only 5 of us from my friend's debut who went. We got there at around 11pm. It was so late! People were waiting for us and our former classmate didn't know where to celebrate his birthday in Ewood. Haha, great. It was his(or her, haha) first time. It was a Saturday, obviously, everything's full. But it was okay, we went to Ipanema. Sosyal, lumelevel-up na sila, buma-bar na ngayon. Haha. It was super fun! But it was scary at the same time. HAHA. Shocks. I'm not used to seeing people grinding and stuff anymore. I was like, "Eww, wth." Haha. But this really freaked me out! I was dancing with my friends who all have their partners, and I don't have one(haha), then this guy made his way between my friends and danced in front of me. DAMNIT! =)) I didn't know what to do! Grabe. I hid at the back of my classmate thinking that he will get the signal that I don't want to dance with people I don't know(lol). But he followed me and kept on dancing. WTF. =)) Fortunately, my former girl classmate saved my life. LOL. She made his way between the guy and me and she danced with the guy. WHEW. Then she asked, "Ok ka lang, Cha?" Hahaha. WTFWTF. Then there's this other guy who kept looking(wthhhhh!!) and is slowly getting nearer and nearer. Tipong humahanap ng tiempo. When I saw that, I told my guy friend, "Uy, Kevin! Palit tayo ng pwesto.. dito ka, dyan ako! Please please!" :)) Then, the guy went away and went back to his friends. HAHA. BS. I'm really thankful I was with my friends. They're really super! Haha. Sabi nga naming mga girls, "Buti na lang andyan yung mga machong bantay natin." Haha. Buti na lang talaga! Di na talaga ako sanay. =)) But overall, it was a really fun night! I went home at around 2am. Yay. I'm looking forward to hang out with them again. :D

--pictures--









photos by Kevin Mata. (Kamusta yon, nagppicture-an kami habang nagsasayaw? Haha.)

Bubbly.

WARNING: Random post. Tagalog. Wala, gusto ko lang magkwento. LOL.

Bubbly? Bakit nga ba bubbly ang title neto? Wala lang, LSS kasi ako sa song na yan ngayon. Ganda eh. Bubbly by Colbie Calait. Narealize ko paiba-iba talaga ang taste ko sa music. Merong mas nangingibabaw sa ibang genre at a certain point pero gusto ko pa rin yung ibang genres. Ay, labo. Haha.

Hindi pala dapat Bubbly ang title ng post kong 'to. Dapat "headache" or "bugbok na utak ko". Wala lang. Kagabi kasi bugbog na bugbog utak ko. Siguro buong araw akong nakatutok sa computer at himala, sinipag akong gawin ang website na pinapagawa sa 'kin nila kuya. Yey for me! First time kong gumawa ng website na .com. Yung tipong ako talaga yung administrator. Grr. So I'm still figuring out how things work. It's still under construction. Pero grabe, pag-figure out ko na nga lang pano gawing mail.domain.com yung Webmail instead dun sa binigay na domain.com:2095 (dba ganyan?), namroblema na ko. Eh syempre baka malimutan nila yung number sa dulo. Hehe. Pero buti na lang nagawa ko rin! domain.com/mail nga lang pero ayos na yun. Masaya na 'ko dun. Thanks nga pala kay Christian sa pagtulong rin sa 'kin. Bugbog rin pala ang kamay ko kaka-type. Linalagay ko kasi mga contacts sa address book ng email nila. At may email rin akong bago under sa domain name na yun, lol. Kung may bayad lang sana ako dito dba, eh wala e. Free food, board & lodging, education and other stuffs lang naman. That's basically my life. So ok na lang rin.

Inayos ko rin yung gallery ng konti. Ganun pala yung gamit ng Fantastico noh? Hahaha. Ngayon ko lang na-gets. Di ko alam anong use nyan dati eh. LOL. Newb! to think na nagddesign ako ng websites for almost 5 years na rin. My gally! I know I still have a lot to learn. GO MMA! Hehehe. Sabi ko rin, 7pm ang cut-off time ko sa work na yan. Eh ayoko tumigil hangga't hindi ko naaayos yung hindi pa naayos. Ayun, umabot ako ng mga 10pm. May break pa yun kasi kumain, syempre. LOL. At dahil dyan...

Hindi ko nagawa ang COMSK1x(Communication Skills 1) homework namin na nakakabugbog rin ng utak. Grabe. Tungkol sa Thesis Statement yun. Na-miscarriage pa kasi yung orig. prof namin so na-replace sya. And the replacement will be our prof until the end of the term. Great. Pahirap. Pero ayos lang rin, kasi mas may natututunan kami sa kanya. Kung sana nagawa ko yun nung Friday or Saturday. Hay eto nanaman ako. :| Gusto ko na 'tong baguhin! Nakakainis.

So pumasok ako, late ng mga 10minutes. Grr. Late nanaman ako nagising. Buti na lang evaluation ng teachers. Eh mahaba yun, so na-consume ng pageevaluate namin yung isang oras na period sa karamihan ng subjects. Natatakot ako kasi wala akong HW sa COMSK1x. LOL. Buti na lang may consideration yung prof. Ngayon lang daw yun. Bait nun sa 'min(medyo). Haha. Nung una 2:30pm daw ang deadline. Tapos nagbigay nung isa pang HW due on Wednesday(I'll make sure na nagawa ko na 'to beforehand lol) at take home quiz due on Friday. Ang galeennng. Ngayon lang kami nakapag-take home quiz. HAHA. After nun, nagbago isip nya, minove nya yung deadline ng HW namin ng 4:00. Ang saya saya. Eh dapat di na kami gagawa. Mga kasama ko kasi eh. Pero sa isip ko, sayang naman yung binigay na extension ni Ms. kung di ko gagawin. Sayang ang grade!!! So ginawa ko. Nagpunta kami ng isaw-an tapos after pumasok kami sa internet shop malapit dun. Tinulungan rin ako ng blockmate ko. Tapos napass ko! Ewan ko kung tama pinaglalagay ko dun. Basta nagawa ko. LOL.

Wala lang. :))

Hmm, para sa 'kin, masaya sa school. Ewan ko, basta lagi akong masaya pag nasa school. Bakit ba ganun? Kayo ba? Hehe.

Wala lang ulit. LOL. Ganda ng post ko no. Haha.
--
RENZ! Pano na yung blogger commenting code? LOL. =p

Life and Death.

I just realized how life can be so short. I mean I know how life can be really short and we all die in the end of our journey here on earth. Maybe I just don't want to believe that it works that way.

Life can be easily made by two people who had intercourse then after 5 days or a week, next thing you know, you're pregnant or you're gonna be a parent. Wait for 9 months and then you'll see God's blessing: life. If that's how fast life can be created, that's also how fast life can be taken away from you. Maybe just multiply that two times faster 'cause that's really how fast life can be taken away, in just a second or a milli-second. It's sad but it's reality. We will never know when our life will end. We will never know when a loved one will go. No matter how we don't want it to happen, it's inevitable. And no matter how much we pray for our loved one to not go and how much we pray for our enemy to kill themselves, if it's their time to go, it's their time.

I wrote this post because my Aunt died yesterday. I was shocked. I don't know exactly what happened but I know she's sick. Even before. I didn't ask the details though. As I was eating my Burger Steak from Jollibee in our office, my mom said, "Cha, text mo si Joyce(she's my cousin)." And I said, "Bakit?", "Namatay mommy nya. Si Auntie Edel mo." I couldn't utter a single word after she said that. I was just shocked. I saw her last summer, I think, when we went to General Santos. We even stayed at their house for one night. No one knew she was gonna go this same year. Days before yesterday, I even got to chat with my cousin in YM. It was their sembreak and we (me, my other cousin and her) were catching up with things. 'Cause we're far from each other and I don't have any cousins here in Manila with the same age as mine. I always ask her how she is and she said she's okay. I wonder how she is now? I didn't get to text her either. T_T I hope they're fine.

I also got to write this post because we watched Kubrador last Thursday in our Economics class but didn't get to finish it so we got to finish it today. The last part was shocking and sad, very. Kubrador is a film about illegal gambling and how less fortunate people engage in it and how the ones in position, particularly in the government, are very much involved in funding jueteng. The last part was the scene about All Soul's Day and people were going to the cemetery to visit their late loved ones. Gina Pareno(the main character) and her family visits her son's grave, who was in the AFP(Armed Forces of the Philippines). She then left and wandered around the cemetery's vicinity. There were a lot of people and since at those times, people's heads get to heat up and get annoyed. There was a scene where a jeepney and a car bumped into each other and both drivers started heating up. The car driver beat the jeepney driver but eventually, the jeepney driver got up and went to his jeepney to get a batuta to beat the car driver. But the car driver got to run to his car and held his gun. He pointed it to the jeepney driver but the driver got to run away. While he was running, the car driver fired the gun and a by-stander got hit in the left side of his chest instead of the jeepney driver. Gina Pareno got grazed and she and the by-stander both fell down. At first we thought she was the one who got shot but she wasn't. It was so sad that an innocent by-stander gets hit by a shot that wasn't even meant for him! The fact that your life can be taken away just like that is so sad. The fact that you didn't have anything to do with the riot at all. Man. We didn't know if the man who got shot died but he was rushed to the hospital almost 50/50. It's sad because it happens in reality. And it's sad that it happens in the Philippines.

Our life is a blessing and we should be thankful that we're still here today. We should be thankful that our loved ones who are still here are still here beside us. As I said, we will never know when we will go and when our loved ones will go, so we should make them feel how special they are to us. How thankful we are for having them, how much we love and care for them. Although I am guilty about that because I don't make them feel special everyday. I have my faults. But then again, while there is still time to do it, let's start doing it right away.

We should also make the most out of our lives. I have these goals in life written on my desktop and some of these goals are to make a difference and be happy. I want to know what am I here for and what my purpose is here on earth. I want to make a change because I know I can, even in my own little way. As the saying goes, we should live life to the fullest. Enjoy it while we can. Experience things, know our limitations, take risks, make mistakes and learn from it.

I am glad that I enjoy my life to the fullest(well maybe not that fullestEST). I let myself experience things. I take risks. I make mistakes. I learn from it. And I know my limitations. I know what I want and I have dreams I want to achieve.

I am thankful and grateful for having my family and my friends. They're the very reason why I keep on hanging. Every night, I thank God for everything He has given me and for letting me survive this day. Every night, I thank Him for my family and friends. For me, they're the GREATEST blessing I'll ever have.

Life and death: an inevitable reality.

"All endings are also beginnings we just don't know it at that time.." - Mitch Albom, author of Tuesdays with Morrie; Five People You Meet in Heaven
It's almost the same as, "When God closes a door, He opens a window."

I believe it's true. Don't you think?

Week-long vacation, Cost-cutting & Birthdays.

Hey everyone. How's your vacation bloggers? It's pretty long especially for those who are having their sembreaks. It's nice to recharge our energies after a stressful day, week, month, term, semester or whatsoever. My vacation was pretty nice although I just stayed at home. At least I don't have any homeworks, quizzes and projects to worry about now. ^_^ I'm just relaxing. Hehe. Midterms is already finished just last Wednesday. Filipino was our last midterm and it was okay. I was late though. Lol. Damn you 7am classes! Anyway, our online enlistment starts on Monday. I'm gonna get a good schedule! NO MORE 7AM CLASSES FOR ME! Nu-uh! There's no way, kokey! Haha. I hope I can be classmates with some of my blockmates in 3rd term. In at least one to two subjects! Or if I'm lucky, all subjects. Haha. It's possible, isn't it?

Anyway, aside from worrying about the online enlistment, 'cause we all don't know how to yet, our 2nd half for 2nd term starts on Monday! It means another set of projects, quizzes and all those school works! It's time to change my way of doing things. I should start doing it right away and not wait 2 or 3 days before the deadline to come knocking at my door. Why? 'Cause it sucks. It's stressful. It means sleepless nights and pressure. I hate it. I don't want myself to get used to it. I don't want my work to pile up! Kelangan ko na magsipag ulit. I should follow my schedules. What in the world are organizers for? It's useless if I don't follow it. :| I wonder what's in Starbucks for Christmas? LOL. We worked hard for our Starbucks planners last year, mind you. Yes, we worked hard for it. Working hard means getting ourselves broke at the end of the year just to get that freakin' planner! But it's fine, we wanted it anyway. And I get to bond with my friends a lot during those days. I miss those times! Plus you have your favorite Starbucks drink with you. Ahhhh, love! Haha. But now, I don't go to Starbucks often. Cost-cutting ako eh. But even if I cut my starbucks indulgences, I'm still broke. Damnit. Christmas is fast approaching and I don't have money to buy gifts! Nagagastos ko yung ipon ko. Di pa rin ako nakakapag-start mag-ipon. Gastos ko kasi. I HATE IT. Hindi pwede ito. :| Pano na ang gusto kong tablet? at and DSLR? Hmpp. Idagdag mo pa sa gastos ang online shopping sa multiply. WAHH. ARGH. Okay, stop. This needs action. Kelangan ko na talaga mag-ipon. -_- Kaya ko 'to.

It's unusual of me to blog at this time. It's 1:47am on my computer clock. I got home at around 12 something AM from Makati. It was my blockmate's debut at Toyz Cafe. It was an informal one. And since it's Halloween, it's a costume party. I wore a white bubble dress with butterfly wings and wand. LOL. I'm a fairy! Hahaha. It was fun. Tumugtog ang Day One Movement. Si Sib Sibulo yung vocalist nila. Grabe, ang lapit ko sa stage. Literally! Tipong nasa harap ko na yung band. Ako lang yung andun malapit sa kanila. Walang gustong maki-share sa inuupuan ko. Sofa kasi yun. Hahaha, nakakahiyang tumingin sa banda. Atsaka magkaka-stiff neck ako kung pinanood ko sila buong set nila. Di ko kasi maharap sa stage yung sofa, mabigat e. I also got a gift certificate worth P1,000 from Rudy Project. Sponsor kasi nila. So lahat nung naka-costume, may gift certificate. Sponsor rin pala niya yung Coors Light. Libre ang beer namin! Hahaha. Yung invitation, may stub pa para sa vodka. Parang ticket lang e noh. Haha. Pure vodka pala yung nainom ko kanina. Di ko alam yun talaga. Akala ko nahaluan na siya ng lime para di malakas ang tama. Pero wala namang epekto sakin. Haha. At ayoko talaga ng lasa ng beer. Di ako beer person. Atsaka occasionally lang naman ako umiinom. Mabait ako e. Wahehehe.

My next birthday stop will be on November... 17. Which means.. I can't go to my org's Photo-Video Workshop which will be held on Nov.17-18. It's an out-of-town trip to Bataan. I sossss wanna go! But heck, I promised Nikita(my high school ka-barkada) that I'll go. And I miss my high school friends. It's one way of bonding with them again. Debut pala yun. Pero simple lang, sa bahay lang niya. Marami talagang may birthday tuwing November. At least sa mga kakilala ko, marami ang November. One year na pala nakalipas. Last year dalawang birthday party in-attend-an namin sa same na araw. After nung birthday party ni Nikita nun sa bahay nila, pumunta naman kami sa birthday party ng isa pa naming barkada sa Timog. High school pa ko nun. Ang saya. Pero ngayon, shet, college na. Ang bilis pa ng araw. 17 na ko next year! Legal na ang iba sa 'min nun. Ako 2 years pa. Tumatanda na talaga kami. Kaya live life to the fullest. Time flies by so fast. Ay bago pa pala ako mag-17, magpaPasko at New Year muna. Masyado akong excited e. Haha.

Mahaba na 'to. Masyado akong madaldal. Haha. Thanks for taking the time to read though. Take care bloggers! :)

Hindi ako kinikilig, natatawa ako.

Okay so our music video for our project in Filipino is already released on YouTube. Yak, parang premiere? Haha. But anyway, I got to watch it again and... HINDI TALAGA AKO KINIKILIG, NATATAWA AKOOOO. Hahaha. I'm not good in acting so natatawa ako sa acting ko. LOL. Even if my blockmates got kilig while watching the video in class and even if they wanted to watch it over and over again.. well, not me. :)) Hahaha. But at least, I leveled up in acting. Just one level. Haha. :p

Anyway, if I haven't told the story of the video yet..

The song is "Only reminds me of you" translated into Tagalog so the title is "Ikaw pa rin ang naaalala". The story is basically about mag-boypren/gelpren na sobrang opposites. Yung guy parang gago and loko-loko and the girl is the goody-goody type. So the video starts off with a guy writing.. "This is the story of my bestfriend...*put name here*" :p Then the girl in the video is reminiscing about their happy moments together. Naglalakad-lakad sya, emo-emo. Ganun. Then eventually, the guy found another girl. Nakita nung girl. Syempre, hurt sya. Emoemo, cry cry sa cr. Her bestfriend saw her crying so nalungkot yung bestfriend nya. Then nag-end yung video na bumalik dun sa first scene.. the bestfriend wrote, "This is the story of my bestfriend...*put name here*" right? But eventually ended up crossing out the bestfriend word and wrote love instead. Tapos may newspaper sa pinakadulo ng video saying, "College girl commits suicide in university bathroom".

KAMONNNNNNNNNNNN. Hahaha. Na-gets ba yung concept? Parang di ko na-explain ng mabuti. Di ako magaling magkwento e. Haha.

Anyway, the video was conceptualized by my blockmate. It wasn't the original concept but it's somehow close to it. We revised the original one because we were out of time. We shot the whole video last Monday and the deadline for the project was on Wednesday that same week. Haha. But the video was, let's say.. a blockbuster? LOL. Our Filipino prof said, "Alam nyo class natutuwa ako sa mga projects nyo. Pero hindi lang yun, nagugulat rin ako. Hahaha." :)) LOL. Then my blockmates were saying, "Nice one, Cha." "Yes naman!". One of blockmates was even teary-eyed kasi kinikilig raw sya. Hahaha. Parang nagkagulo sa classroom nung pinalabas yung video. :)) Pero ako habang pinapalabas yun, parang gusto ko nang matunaw at maglaho sa room that very moment. Hahaha. Nagtatago ako sa likod ng blockmate ko habang pinapalabas yun. Hiyang-hiya akoooo. Hahaha. Pero at the same time natatawa. LABO. Haha. Tapos nagagalit sila dun sa blockmate ko na 'other girl' sa video. Hahaha.

Grabe, siguro pag iba yung gumanap nun, maiiyak iyak ako at kinikilig habang pinapanood yung video. Pero hindi ehhh. Hahaha. Tae talagaaaaaaaaaaa. Anyway, I'm still thinking if I'll put the link here. :)) :p

[edit]
Well, papel! Here's the link:
KLIK TO GO TO YOOCHOOB!
I'm guessing you guys didn't notice the link. It has been up for like... days already. Hehe. Lots of peole got to watch it already kaya... ayos na lang rin. My family got to watch it, damnit. Di ko ni-planong ipakita sakanila pero accidentally... mahabang story. Haha.
*COVERS FACE!*
[/edit]

"Nothing can ruin my day. :)"

That's what I said when I left school this afternoon.

But I guess not. I received a Friendster message from someone who had been part of my life, our family and most especially my brother's life. There are things going on in the family, something that's sooo years before, but still unresolved. To the point that even people who are not really part of the family got involved too. Sa nangyari, maraming naapektuhan. Maraming nasaktan. Maraming nawala. Maraming nagbago. And it hurts. Everytime I think of that issue, my head aches, my heart hurts and I start to cry. It's just a little issue then but it became such a BIG issue for a reason I don't know why. Oh, I know why actually. But I don't know what to believe anymore. Habang tina-type ko yung reply ko sa message nya, naiiyak ako. Ay hindi, naiyak pala talaga ako. Ayokong ikwento na, kasi hindi naman dapat.

Basta ang alam ko lang, maaayos rin 'to. Alam kong darating rin ang araw na magkakaharap-harap lahat ng taong involved at na-involve. At alam kong lalabas rin kung anong totoo, sinong nagsasabi ng totoo, magkakaintindihan na ang lahat at kung ano man ang kalabasan nun, matatanggap naming lahat. Alam kong darating rin yun, umaasa ako, pero siguro hindi pa ngayon. In God's time, darating ang araw na yun. Based on experience, alam kong lahat ng bagay naaayos. Meron lang talagang tamang panahon para sa lahat ng bagay.

Hmm.. may dalawa kaming midterm exams bukas, pero heto ako, nagta-type, umiyak, at nage-emo. Meron pa kaming group project na due tomorrow sa Economics class namin na comics. Inaalala ko yun kasi kanina lang namin napag-isipan kung anong gagawin. Oo, one day before the submission. Naiinis ako. Cramming nanaman. Hindi dapat ganito. Sana matapos na ang week na 'to para wala na masyadong iniisip. Kelangan ko talagang mag-recharge ng baterya ko. Unti-unti na siyang malo-lowbatt eh.

Pero kahit ganun, may bumubuhay pa rin sa baterya ko. Nakita ko nanaman si crush kanina sa school. Hahaha. Oo, nakakatawa kasi after nung dati na tinutukoy ko sa medyo recent ko lang na blog post, may bago naman. Pero magkaiba naman sila eh. 'Etong ngayon crushing from afar, anong masama dba? Haha. Atsaka di kami friends. LOL. Alam ko lang, pareho kami ng course, pareho kaming frosh, at alam ko lang ang name at section nya. Pero yun lang yun. Pero kahit na, nagka-crush rin naman kayo dba.. at alam nyo yung nararamdaman nyo na pag makita mo lang siya, enough na yun para maging okay ang araw mo. At may stupid smile ka sa mukha mo na sadyang di mo matanggal. Hahaha. Ok, stop. LOL. :))

Pinalabas rin pala namin kanina sa Filipino subject yung project namin for midterms na Music Video Song Translation. Nakakatawa at nakakatuwa. Pero yung project namin, walang nakakaalam nung storya kaya nagulat silang lahat sa video. Yung song namin "Only reminds me of you" tagalized version. Haha. Basta maraming kinilig. Sigawan. Tapos ayan, inaasar na ako. Sabi pa nila, kamukha daw nung partner ko sa video yung crush ko! Hindi naman. HMP. Di-hamak naman mas gwapo yung crush ko. LOL. Ok tama na. :)) Nakakahiya na. LOL.

Ayos ah, yung post ko may malungkot at masayang kwento. Haha. :) Mag-aaral pa ako. Patay ako neto bukas sa exam pag hindi pa ako nag-aral ngayon. :o

Rearranging my life.

My previous post would be the last post I will have about that stuff. Starting today, I'm gonna rearrange my life for the better.

I wanna go back to the 'me' back in first term. I always do things ahead of time and I always study. Or maybe, 2nd term isn't as exciting as 1st term. Well, maybe because we just started out in college and was very eager and excited about it. We wanted to do better than what we were in High School.

2nd term is on going for almost 5 weeks already and I still can't feel it. I can't believe that 2 weeks from now, it's going to be our Midterm week! I never even learned anything much yet. Well maybe except for a few like in Algeb-x, Comsk1x Lab and Dynarel(Dynamics of Religion). Oh, and P.E for Team Sports. Other subjects are not so interesting for me. Our prof in Comsk1x Lecture is kinda boring. Students rarely go in her class; or if ever they do, they don't even listen or they count how many "Okay?" and "K?" words our prof said in our 1-hour class. INSOCIO(Introduction to Sociology) is okay, but I don't find it that interesting yet unlike our GEPSYCH(General Psychology) back in 1st term. But the prof's okay. Our Filip12, though we have the same prof we had in our Filip11 class, I notice that my blockmates get uninterested as every meeting goes. Our prof's funny and ayos magturo. I learned a lot from him in Filip11. Kahit naman ngayon e pero hindi lang sobrang eager unlike dati. Maybe I just have to recharge. Lol, battery? Haha. But yeah, maybe because my class is sooooo early now unlike before. And I have to wake up 3 hours before my class! If my class is 7am, I have to leave the house at 5-5:30am! It's still dark at that time. Haha. But oh well, I just have to make those little sacrifices 'cause I chose to study in a school that's miles away from where I live.

Anyway, I love how my week started. It was great. Well, aside from the fact that I am having fun learning and playing basketball(haha).. We had the 2nd session of my blockmate's Photography lesson. He's teaching my friend and my friend's blockmate about some photography stuffs. And I have fun listening also since I'm kind of into photography too. I wanna learn how to shoot better. :D And my friends and I had this idea of putting up an online shop just like those in Multiply. But ours is a all t-shirt shop. And we're going to design the shirts. I love it! Hopefully, we can start by next week. Dati ko pa talaga naiisip yang ganyang business eh, kaya lang parang kekelanganin ko ng kasama talaga. Hehe.

I never felt this great in weeks. I don't know why. I'm happy right now. :) And that's a good start. That person PMed me after weeks of not talking. How's that? But you know what's great? I don't feel anything anymore. :) This is really the start. I hope I continue moving forward. I know I will. :)

-

Blog post is edited due to decisions that Iwill make my blog publicly announced to everyone I know.

Once is enough, twice is stupidity and too much.

I've made a lot of mistakes in my life that when the time I realize it, I regret it so much. But as time goes by, I realize that mistakes aren't so bad. Because I get to learn from it; and learning not to commit the same mistake again.

I've learned to say the line, "Once is enough, twice is stupidity and too much" to myself.

Just like my past wrongs, I know in time, I can accept and realize that this recent mistake I made will make me a wiser and better person. But not now. I'm still grieving over the fact that I lost a person over this. At least, that's what I want to think. I lost a friend, someone who made me realize that I can be happy again.. and someone who made me realize that I can open my heart again.

I know it was a wrong move. I never should have done it, or never should have said it, rather. I thought it was fine, for I thought it was just a passing feeling; a simple admiration for someone so nice to me and someone who makes me laugh and happy. But I never thought it could lead to something deeper, something I never expected to happen. It was not love. Let's say, it's better said as, a lot like love.

It was pretty fine at first. The friendship went on as it is, like nothing happened or like I never said anything. I felt relieved that he didn't change his ways towards me.

But things started to become hard and confusing for me. He knows. And we're friends. That sucks, 'cause I felt it first. It's not wrong to like someone, it's just that, what I did was wrong. Well, not so wrong, but just improper; not right. I never thought it was included in GUYS101 to not tell that you like him or have a little crush on him. I mean, what's the big deal? It's just a little crush. It's not like your world revolves around him.

And now.. things started to change. The first few weeks was pretty fine, I never noticed a change at all. But now, things are different. Wayyy too different. And it's quite sad. I know things will never be the same again. I don't even know how to talk to him or approach him.

I regret that I may completely lose the friendship. But you know, it was kind of my favorite mistake. I never thought I could have that courage. It was a first, and I opt not to do it again, I hope. Now, I don't know what to do. I don't know how things would be. I just hope for the better.

He's happy, I guess. And I should be, too.

Leave the false hopes behind, so I can finally move from where I stand.

-

Blog post is edited due to decisions that I will make my blog publicly announced to everyone I know.

Of Happiness and Being Grateful

'Cause I've been in places where I couldn't even see the light of day, and then you came. And I'm grateful.. you showed me the way back to my beautiful..

Yes. Maybe God really has a reason why we crossed paths. That person came to my life for a purpose. I came to that person's life for a purpose too. And I know that purpose. When we met, I didn't realize it suddenly.. but days went and I knew, I wanted that person to be happy. And that person is now, happy than ever. And I am glad. But what I never expected or even wanted to like him. He made me happy. Hey you. do you know that? He made me happy without doing anything at all. Just talking to him made me happy. I was happy before he came. But when he did, I was happier than ever!

You know that feeling when you wake up in the morning and you know it's going to be a wonderful day? That feeling when you wake up in the morning and your day starts with a smile? That even when things go bad or from bad to worse and everything is so stressing, you know everything will be alright? That feeling when you see everything in a positive way? That feeling of wanting to wake up every day? That feeling when you get to appreciate life more? That feeling when you have every reason to live and live it to the fullest? That feeling of plain contentment and joy? It feels so good right? Yes, it does. It felt so good. He made me feel all these.

You see, he somehow came at the right time. I was in the verge of being somehow sad at times. That old feeling when I am looking for something I don't even know what. That feeling of filling up my emptiness. That feeling of finding and having something or someone who will find and put the remaining empty pieces of my heart back. That feeling of bringing my heart back to life. I am happy though even if I feel these at times. I am happy because I get to study at my preferred school, with my preferred course.. because I'm happy with my friends and my family.. and because I have a deeper relationship with God. I had every reason to want to live and every reason to be happy. But you know, I still was broken then. I still was picking up the remaining shattered pieces of my heart and fixing it back.

And he came. I didn't expect that he can make me happier. I didn't expect that I could like him more than a friend. I was in denial at first, because I said to myself that I still can't handle it if I fall real hard and get shattered all over again, worse than what happened to me then. I think I couldn't handle it. And besides, I'm not in a rush. But man, I just couldn't explain what I felt. I felt happy every time I talked to him. I knew it but still was thinking why I felt that way. Until I accepted it myself although I was super scared. I said I can't let it fall any deeper than what I was feeling then.

But sometimes, you are not just the key to someone's happiness. Sometimes, it is another person. And sometimes, you have to let go of your own happiness just to make that someone happy.

By doing that, I've finally done my purpose to him: for him to be happy.

And I realized what God wanted me to realize. I know I can like(as in super) or love again, I just don't want to believe it. He came, and I believed. I was unhopeful of being able to feel happiness again. He came, and I was able to be happier than ever. I was afraid of falling and getting hurt and taking risks. He came, and I conquered all those.

Basically, it was for me to realize not to give up on love and happiness. The door had always been open.. It's just me not wanting to go inside for fear of failing myself and my heart. Life is all about taking risks.

And so we are fair. He has finally done his purpose to me.

Moving forward... and we'll still be friends.. good friends. But still not now, I'm getting there.

If only my heart is a CD Player..

..so it would have controls. If only i could control my heart.

All those times I told myself to stop already.. I never clicked stop. I kept on clicking PAUSE. Then it would play again. PAUSE. PLAY. PAUSE. PLAY. PAUSE. I can't click STOP. I don't know why. But now, I SHOULD force myself to click stop. So I would stop myself from getting hurt. So I would prevent myself from getting hurt MORE than this.

If only I could..

Damnit. I never stopped. I don't know why I keep coming back.

Clarity.

I said to Cuz, "Labo kasi eh. Kaya ayoko ng ganito e." She said, "Alam mo, lilinaw rin ang lahat. Soon." So now is the 'soon'. I just didn't think it would be this soon.

Malabo noon, oo. Nalalabuan ako. Ilang beses na akong nalalabuan sa mga bagay-bagay. Pero hindi ko yun inisip. I mean, iniwasan kong isipin yun. Feeling ko kasi sayang ang oras ko kakaisip sa mga ganung bagay samantalang marami akong bagay na mas mahalaga pang gawin kesa dun. Malabo noon, malinaw na ngayon. Ngayon lang. Salamat sa technology.

May use rin pala ang pagsali sa isang community sa WWW, marami kang nalalaman at nadidiskubre. Gaya na lang ng nalaman ko. Ako lang nag-justify, pero parang sinampal sa mukha ko yung info na yun eh.

Malinaw na siya ngayon. Malinaw na naman siya noon e, ayaw ko lang tanggapin. Kinailangan ko lang ng confirmation dun sa taong yun. Kanina lang, nalaman ko.

Hindi naman ako nasaktan. Nalungkot lang ako. Nataon pa sa pag-release ng course cards ko. Badtrip pa naman ako sa dalawang grades ko. Dahilan kung bakit hindi ako masasali sa Dean's List. Ok lang, medyo nags-sink-in na rin siya ngayon. Pero mahirap pa rin. Alam ko kakayanin ko 'to.

2 days na pala akong nandito sa GenSan. Simula nung September 5. Pero parang kahapon lang. Ang bilis.

Well, at least, malinaw na sa 'kin ang lahat ngayon. Hindi na 'ko mac-confuse. Hindi na akong magdadalawang isip kung itutuloy ko pa ba 'to or hindi na.

Isang experience 'to na madadala ko nanaman sa pagpapatuloy ko sa buhay ko. First time 'to ulit. Madaming first time at first time ulit. Nalaman ko na after how long, kaya ko pa palang maging masaya ulit. Yung mas masaya pa sa kasiyahan ko dati. Nalaman ko na, kaya ko pang buksan ang puso ko. Kasi sobrang takot ako noon. After "the" incident back in 3rd year.. natakot talaga akong mahulog ulit. Na-paranoid ako. Nahirapan akong mag-trust sa tao sa mga ganung cases. Alam kong matagal na ang 2 years, pero ganun eh. Mahirap pag puso na ang pinag-uusapan.

Ayoko na. Tama na. :) Magiging masaya rin ako talaga, someday. Friends kami, ok na yun. At sakanya, I learned to overcome my fear.

Kaya kung binabasa mo 'to ngayon, salamat.

Thank you God. You answered my prayer, once again. :)

-

Blog post was changed due to decisions that I will make my blog publicly announced to everyone I know.

Heppeh.

I am happy with my life right now. I am just so. And I am thankful for that. I'm so thankful to God for that. Things are getting better. And.. ayun. I just wanna stay this way for at least, a while. :)

My brother's(eldest) getting married on the 18th. :) HAPPY. EXCITED. KILIG. Hehehe. At long last!!! :D

It's stress week. I'd like to call it semi-hell week. Today's the start of the week before the Finals. Gosh, wish me luck. :) I hope I can do the things I'm supposed to do. And not do this muna. And not go online for hours when I'm supposed to be doing more important stuffs. LOL. :p

HAPPY HAPPY. :) Although stressed. :) Things are so going well. I just want to make my mind stable. And not have anything bothering it for the moment. I have lots to do. Okkkss. :)

^____________^

-

Blog post and title was changed due to decisions that I will make my blog publicly announced to everyone I know.

You lost, but I made you win.

I am in a state of confusion.

What's there to be confused about anyway?
There's so much to do and this is what I think about.
I bet you do not even care.

It's not me.
No, it's not me.

I never thought it would feel this way.
My heart felt pain awhile ago.
And now I hate you for making me feel that pain.
It's not me, no, it's not me.

I thought this wasn't serious.
I'm not ready for this.

I don't want to feel this anymore.
I don't want to feel this great feeling anymore.

It will only hurt me if it becomes deeper. And happier.
Don't scar yourself into my heart.
I'm not yet ready to be hurt in this kind of thing.
After two long years...
Yes, I am still afraid.

Even happiness, I'm afraid to embrace.
How stupid right?

'Cause it hurt me bad. Really bad.
It had some kind of a trauma on me.
It left a deep scar.
It left paranoia.

I just don't think you're worth it yet.
You don't know me that much yet and you said that.
That ruined it all.
Nice move.

You lost the game.
But I made you win again.
Stupid me.
That's how it is, always.

But then again,
Who are you anyway?
After all, we're just friends for # months.
# months.
# months.
Again.
# months.
Just like last time.

# months. # years. # months.
Great. Same old.

Will this be another lonely phase?
I hope not.
This can't be.
It shouldn't be.
I have a lot of things to mind other than this.

I'm wasting my time.

Stupid.

Alam na.

Oo, stupid. Pero wala na 'kong magagawa. Tapos na eh.

Alam na talaga.

-

Blog post and title was changed due to decisions that I will make my blog publicly announced to everyone I know.

being fickle-minded?

Grabe, pano ako naging fickle-minded? I know myself as a person who.. well, isn't fickle-minded (at least not that much). But now, my mind keeps on changing either every day or every week about something. And it's making me more confused. Now I know why I'm confused. It's because I'm making the situation confusing. Ang labo ko talaga. :))

Oh well. I guess this confused thing will soon be over. I hope! And the feeling too. It's just a feeling. The feeling wasn't like before. Tapos, later on, babalik nanaman. Ano ba talaga? Grabe, i so don't know what to do.

It's raining.. it's cold. I feel sadness. But ironically, I know I'm happy. This is so BS.

God. I know you hear me. I've been praying for like.. since 2 weeks ago. So I found a solution and I stood firm on my decision. And now I'm back, praying to you. You know why I did that. And why those 2 weeks became useless. I don't know if I should do that again. Everytime there's something like this, I keep on doing that. Over and over. I've always asked for happiness. Well, I am already. But I'm the one who takes the 'happiness' away from me. Should I lie low? I know it won't really be a solution. I just keep on running away. You know why I'm scared. 'Cause if i do that, i'll be losing someone in the process. And later on, regret, to think that it's my fault why I lost that someone. I don't want that. So, now what? :/ Huhu. *sighs*

I don't make sense. Mas lalong napapalalim ang naiisip ko. Utak ko, sinasabing eto na lang. Tapos mamaya, mag-iisip naman na wag na lang. Hey mind, what's up there?

Escapism. Confused. Reality. I think my mind's going to explode now. Like at this very moment.

I had a dream.

After such a long time of not dreaming.. i had a dream. I thought it was real at first. Haha. But when I woke up I realized, hindi pala. :))

It was kind of weird. But it's really funnyyyyyyy for me :)) Sa lahat ba naman ng mapapanaginipan ko, yun pa? Salamat sa'yo, nanaginip ako ulit. Haha.

Float like a coke float, sprite float and whatever float. Whatever floats your boat!
--
Okay so now im hungry.

-
lagot, wala naman siguro nakakabasa pa neto ulit dba. :)) HAHA. not in my multiply. im going to erase the link. haha.
-

This blog entry is edited due to decisions that I will make my blog publicly announced to everyone I know. :p I'll put my blog link back in my multiply.

Hayyy.

O well. So, it's Friday and there are no classes for high school and college students. It's for the SK Registration thingy. Ayun.

My day went well. Super! It started happy. Hahaha. Why? Because of good friends making me laugh. :) Then I went to school to get my yearbook.

Sht. I never thought I could step foot at OLGM again. So when I did, grabe... it felt so sad. I imagined things though. Like.. pagpasok ko pa lang sa gate, akala ko parang naka-uniform ako ng OL. Pumapasok ako dun. Then, there were people sa canteen, tambay sa umbrellas. Naglalakad galing sa HS building. The usual stuff I see at school. Students na magulo and all. Kumakain. But step back into reality, there's nothing there. It's just the guards, the tall grasses (i bet hindi na sya pinutol since graduation), the trees, the rustling of the leaves... It's just OLGM.. plain & bare. A place that won't be the same again. If it's still open, it should have been a place where students go to learn.. where students fill in their memories, the good and the bad.. where students walk, run, and have fun around.. at the gym, classroom, hallways, canteen, Grace Park and anywhere.. where students greet their teachers when they meet them.. where those lower batches stayed and continue filling in memories of their Alma Mater. But they are nowhere to be found. No students, no teachers. It's sad being there.

It's just a memory relived once again. And we will never forget that place. A place where wonderful memories, dreams & aspirations were made, where camraderie was practiced, where treasured friends were bonded and where teachers made a difference.

In my 4 years of my life, it has been a part of me. 4 years may probably be somewhat short compared to others who were there all their lives. But in those 4 years, I learned to love my Alma Mater. In that institution, I learned so much. From boosting my confidence, having belief in myself, etc. And there, I met wonderful people. Friends, mentors, teachers.. they were the ones who made my stay there so worthwhile. They were the ones whom I created memories with.. memories that I will treasure forever. So, now I'm in college.. I miss them badly! Super iba pa rin talaga. But anyway, ganun talaga. I hope there would be another reunion and hopefully, mas madami kami! Hehe.

I miss everything about High School.

I felt sad leaving the school gates. Siguro yun yung last time na gagawin ko yun. But then, hopefully not. Sana makapasok pa ko ulit dun. With my HS friends naman. Hehe.

It would be a place that won't be forgotten. It may be different in 3 or 4 years from now, but it would still be the same place for us, Montessorians. It would still be OLGMSC in our minds. :)

So enough with the drama.

Wow, this day started well and ended well. So full of laughter. Those two friends made my day. Haha. :) Hey you both, thanks! Haha.
--
..i may be all alone tonight, but i believe in the magic that someone, is meant to sit beside me someday..

Thank you God.

sandali na lng
maaari bang pag bigyan
aalis na nga
maaari bang hawakan ang iyong mga kamay
sana ay maabot ng langit ang iyong mga ngiti
sana ay masilip

refrain:
wag kang mag alala
di ko ipipilit sayo
kahit na lilipad ang isip ko'y torete sayo

ilang gabi pa nga lang
ng tayo'y pinagtagpo
na parang may tumulak
nanlalamig, nanginginig na ako

akala ko nung una
may bukas ang ganito
mabuti pang umiwas
pero salamat na rin at nagtagpo

---
Wow.
Thanks ha.
Thanks for clarifying things even without saying it.
I get it.

Thank you God. :)

Hey you, it's nice that I met you.
You're nice and you're my friend.
You'll always be.
Buti na lang.

Ang galing talaga ni God.
Sinagot Niya agad yung confusion ko.

But then again, things just aren't the same.
I'm gonna miss those.
Though that was only for a while, it made an impact.
And thanks for making me smile again. :p

Laugh trip pa rin, ha?

Updates. :) July 13, 2007

MIDTERMS ARE ALREADY FINISHED!!! Yeheyyy! :p Hehe.

So ayun, tapos na rin ang projects. Naka-98 kami sa Filipino project namin. O dba, may bunga naman yung pagpuyat ko. :p

Our profs in BibStud and Gepsych already announced our midterm grades kanina. Yung score ko sa Bibstud, 95. Midterm grade ko, 3.5. Gepsych, 93 yata score ko nun. Nalimutan ko na. Midterm grade is 3.0. Oyeaa! Pero midterm grade pa lang naman yan. It won't show in our class card. But it's a big factor kasi it will be added to our pre-final grade equals our final grade. :)

We watched the Battle Royale in Poligov. It's a R-15 Japanese movie. Sobrang gory! :)) Brutal! Yung Battle Royale, game sya. May pipiliin na isang section, pinili sila kasi mino-mock nila yung mga teachers/elders. Tapos dapat isa lang mananalo sa kanilang lahat. So para may isa lang na manalo, magpapatayan sila. Examples lang ng mga scenes dun yung teacher nila hinead-shot ng knife yung isang babae na student sa klase nila kasi nagbubulungan sila. Sapul talaga sa ulo! Yay! Tas isa pa, yung axe na nasa ulo nung lalakeng student. Kamusta naman yun dba. Puro dugo. Yayyy! :)) But we didn't get to finish it. Sa wednesday na lang daw. Since may Recollection kami sa Monday.

Kanina, nilibre kami ni Carlo. So bakit kami ililibre? Wala namang may birthday. Or kung ano man. Ang dahilan lang naman e, hindi sya nakapag-participate sa paggawa ng Filipino project namin. :)) HAHA. Ang mga andun sila Carlo, Rap, Kevin, Mervin, Paul R., Rino, Cj, Pem, Cerisse, at ako. (extra lang sila paul at rino, di namin sila ka-group. haha.) So, una dapat sa YellowCab. Tas nagbago ng isip, sa Mildred's na lang daw sa UM. Binigyan kami ni Carlo ng 500php(para sa aming apat) Nakapila na kami nila Pem, Cj at Cerisse dun tas biglang sinabi na Pizza Hut na lang daw. Super gutom na kami nun, lakad pa kami ng lakad. So, edi Pizza Hut na. Hindi pa kinuha ni Carlo yung 500 nya samin. So tinago namin. :))

Edi order order na. Tatlong pizza ang inorder :)) + drinks + fetuccine ata yun. (na dapat para sa gf ni carlo, e sandali lang sya kasi 2:30 pa ang klase nya at sa Andrew pa ang bldg. nya) Parang nammroblema na si Carlo nun e, wala pa yung bill :)) HAHA. Tas tapos na lahat kumain. Bill na, cheden! mga 1,900+ yung inabot. Aba, crinedit card nalang! Sorry naman sakanya! :)) Haha. Buti na lang may card sya kung hindi.. haha. jinojoke nga namin e kung kinulang ng pambayad, sya ang maghuhugas ng mga plato dun. :)) Ayoonnn. At yung 500.. akala namin malilimutan na nya e.. :)) Hati-hati na sana kaming 5 dun(cj,cerisse,pem,ako at paul). Hahaha. Pero syempre joke lang yun. :p Nakay Cerisse yung 500 nun. Sabi nya sakin, "kunin mo na, tas bigay mo." Akala tuloy ako nagtago! Weh. Hahaha. Tas sinabi naman ni Cerisse na nasa kanya. Haha. Tas di sila umattend ng Poligov.. nag-billiards yata. Tas kami nila Cj, cerisse, pem at kevin.. bumalik sa school. Ayoonnn. Masarap talagang kumain... pag libre! :)) Wahaha.

---
Nakita ko nga pala si Kevin B., sa pizza hut kanina! Tinatawag ko, di ako narinig. Haha. At as usual, laugh trip nanaman kami nila Jhem at Camae sa fx kanina. At syempre, bago kami sumakay... bumili muna ng food. This time, KFC naman. Nagsawa na sa mcdo. Hehe. :p

--
NOTE: 4.0 ang highest sa grading system namin instead na 1.0. :p

I've lost myself.

I know, after that incident 2 years ago, I have lost myself. It's kinda saddening but it's true. But the good part of it is that I learned through the process. I'm still picking up the remaining missing pieces. I'm just having a hard time finding it.

I don't know if I have changed for the better or bad. Well I guess it's for the better. But there are some things in me right now that's very different from the "me" before.

Nasasabaw nako. When people talk to me with sense, I just can't take them seriously. Is that a problem? Well for me, it is. I hate it. I don't know what to say to them. Especially when they talk to me in straight english. :)) What the hell. Before, I can talk about anything. And can write anything that's been going on in my mind. But now, I can't. Or maybe I'm just taking myself back.

And I keep laughing. Is that bad? Well no, it isn't. Laughing is good. Well at least not by myself. :p I'd look crazy. Haha.

I can't explain or express myself properly. I can't even talk about my emotions. I so keep it to myself. I know it's a bad thing to do. Mahirap yun dba. Baka maloka ako. Haha.

But anyway, it's been a long time since I blogged. And I can tell that blogging helped me a lot. In my writing skills, in telling my stories, in telling what I think and what I feel, in expressing my thoughts and opinions.

Mahirap din pala pag ikaw lang no. It's better to blog this way. I don't wanna blog like this in my multiply. Cause I know the people viewing my site/blog. And it's hard for me to open up. It's better to be left unknown and anonymous. I can handle it better. Hehe.

So... that's it. I hope I can put the pieces back together. And hopefully, someday, will be able to complete the puzzle of my life. It would take a lot of years, even until the day I die. But what I need right now is the "me" that has been lost along the way. It's been pretty rough and difficult.. but I can handle it.

God's with me. He's there to strengthen me.


I hope it will be a wonderful day tomorrow. I have some things boggling in my mind. And what the hell.. the feeling.. pinipigilan. I don't wanna feel it. At least, i don't want to feel it first. I hate to be broken. Nuff with this, I have much to do tomorrow for school.

Long week.

FRIDAY. Campus Stopover '07.

I just got home. So tired. :/ Ayun, may event kanina sa school. It was an ETC event and was aired on 89.9. The bands were Kastigo, Addicted to Venus, Linguahe(?), Moonstar 88, Blue Ketchup, Sandwich and Imago. I forgot the other band.. it starts with "m".. andun si Monty ng Mayonnaisse e. ^_^

So after our class which is Gepsych.. We(sofia, eena, joseph, asha, krystle, cerisse and i) went to eat at House Blends. Kasi syempre magugutom kami nun pag concert na.

Ayun, nung andun na kami sa theater.. andun nanaman kami sa harap malapit sa speakers. Pero masaya naman. Kumonti na yung tao bandang dulo. Sa DV6, mga natira na lang.. ako, asha, cerisse, eena, tring, gerald, markie at chenggay. So kami yung matitibay. Waha. :p

Yung unang band na nagplay is Linguahe(?) then Blue Ketchup.. then nalimutan ko na yung sunud-sunod. Waha.

Moonstar 88. Sing along sa mga songs nila. Kewl.

I really enjoyed Sandwich's performance. I heart Mong Alcaraz. :p Sigaw kami ng sigaw dun. Hottttt. Haha. Tas ang swerte nung naka-jam sa kanila. Kasi naghanap sila ng marunong mag-gitara then they played Sugod. E yung nagvolunteer, bass plinay nya. Ayonn. Syet ang swerte! Ikaw ba naman maka-jam mo ang Sandwich? Kamonnnn. It was kewlll.
Then after was Kastigo. Then, Imago na. Pretty pala si Aia. Hehe. Tas nalaglag yung pic nya sa gitara nung magla-last song na sila tas si Markie yung nakakita. Tas after nun, binigay na lang kay Markie yung pic nya! Huwatttt, kamonnn. haha. :p

Kapagod. Pero fun naman. Sabog si Cerisse, parang nakainom. What more pa kaya kung talagang nakainom na sya.. super sabog na yun. :)) Haha.
--
THURSDAY.
As usual, maaga ang uwian namin. 11:10 pa lang, uwian na! Yeyy. We went to G4. Syempre fun kasi 3rd time ko nang makasakay ng Lrt-mrt nun. Haha. Madami kami e. Sofia, Eena, Neela, Tring, Jr, Asha, Cerisse, Cj(humiwalay pagdating dun), Pem, Kevin Chua, Gerald, Jn.. ayun lang natatandaan ko. Tas dun na lang namin nakita sila Chenggay, markie, Paul Ang, Yanna, Mo, Dotay, Andy... etc. Dami.

Kain muna kami sa foodcourt.. syempre sa mura lang. Haha. Tas timezone-ing na. Sila lang, pinapanood lang namin sila. Wala akong timezone card e, ayoko gumastos. Haha. Tas picture picture.. upload ko bukas. Pinanood namin si Andy mag-DDR. Waawww! Perfect or Great madalas! Ang bilis. Waha. Pati si Paul.. nagddrums! Waha. May video ako nun. :p

Mga 3 something kami umalis nila Cerisse dun. Apat lang kami umalis(ako, cerisse, asha, neela).. e pare-pareho naman silang taga-Las Pinas. So babalik pa sila ng Vito Cruz station. Ako.. Quezon Ave. So kamusta naman yun.. nakapag-mrt na ko mag-isa!! Wahaha. Tuwang-tuwa naman ako dba. :p syempre. haha.
--
MONDAY.
Pagtuklas Recollection. Contemplation Room. B109.

Parang hindi Reco. :)) Pero ayus naman. Ang sarap lang matulog dun sa Contemplation room. Ang lamig.. tas nakaupo pa kami sa pillows. sa floor. Syempre katamad. Haha. Pero fun naman. :)
..will upload the pics tomorrow.
--
Ayun lang. We finished watching Battle Royale kanina. Wowww. Kamusta yun. Hehe. May Battle Royale 2 pa. Pero di na namin papanoorin yun. Tskk. Makahanap nga. :p
--

Sabi nya ikaw lng ang mahal
Seryoso sya sa lahat ng pangako sinta
Ikaw lamang hinihintay maghapon
Hanggang maguwian na

May kanta ka pa sa kanya
Yun pala'y kanta mo din 'yon sa iba
Nalaman mo 'di lang pala ikaw
Ang pinaibig nya ha..

Yoohhh.

Pano ba lagyan ng comment ang post? I mean, dba meron dati yung "Post a comment" link after every post. What's the code for that? Does anyone of you know? *parang may kausap ako dba :))* I was using haloscan before, but now I wanna use the Blogger for comments.

Hmm.

SURVEY.

PART 1: BIRTH

Were you a planned baby?
- I DUNNO.

Were you the first?
- NO.

Were your parents married when you
were born?
- YES.

What is your birth date?
- MAY 27.
_______________________________________

PART 2: THE FAMILY

Parents married or divorced?
- MARRIED.

Are you an only child?
- NOPE.

If you have siblings are you oldest,
middle, or youngest?
- YOUNGEST.

Which parent do you get along with
best?
- MOM.

Do you have step-parents?
- NONE.
_______________________________________

PART 3: THE FRIENDS

Do you have more than one best friend?
- NO.

What do you like to do when you are
together?
- HAVE FUN. KWENTUHAN ABT ANYTHING UNDER THE SUN. :P TAWANAN. HUMANGOUTS LANG. HEHE.

Do you share the same interests?
- YESS!

Which friend can you tell everything
to?
- IBA-IBA. WAHA. =P
____________________________________

PART 4: YOUR PERSONALITY

Do you have a low self esteem?
- KIND OF.

Do you get depressed about things
easily?
- MINSAN.

Are you happy right now?
- YES. :P

Do you live life to the fullest?
- I GUESS.. NO, I DON'T. TSK.
_______________________________________

PART 5: APPEARANCE

Are you comfortable with the way you
look?
- AYUS LANG.

Describe your hair.
- I HATE. :/ SABOGG!

How do you dress?
- DEPENDS ON MY MOOD.

Were you a strange child?
- NO. CUTE AKO E. HAHA.

PART 7: RANDOM

Are you scared of growing up old alone?
- YES.
_______________________________________

PART 8: THE OUTDOORS

Do you prefer indoors or outdoors?
- DEPENDE.

Favorite season?
- FOUR SEASONS. :)) HAHAHA.

Do you like walking in the rain?
- PAG NAKA-SAPATOS, OO. PERO PAG NAKA-TSINELAS, HINDI. :))

PART 9: FOOD

Are you a vegetarian?
- NO.

Favorite food?
- DAMI! ITALIAN, JAPANESE, CHINESE, PINOY FOODS. ISAMA MO NA RIN ANG KONTING KOREAN. HAHA. KAHIT ANO, BASTA MASARAP! YUN NA YUN. HAHA.

What food makes you want to gag?
-BASTA MASARAP. :D

What is your favorite dessert?
- MANGO CREPE. TAPOS, BANOFFEE PIE NG STARBUCKS. TAPOS.. D KO NA ALAM E. ICE CREAM? HAHA.

PART 10: RELATIONSHIPS AND LOVE

Do you believe in love at first sight?
- NO. PERO ATTRACTION AT FIRST SIGHT, OO. HAHAHA.

Have you ever been in love?
- I DUNNO. :P

Has anyone ever been in love with you?
- SABI.